Hi everyone, have been looking at this board for some time, I have looked at others. What I enjoy about this one, is that even tho we all know it can be very difficult at times--what we are dealing with-- you all seem to maintain a sense of humour.

I am 51, my husband is 56 and last year was diagnosed with Frontotemporal Dementia----FTD----amazing that most people relate the initials as flowers being delivered!!!

Anyway, just wanted to say hello and hope that from time to time we can chit chat.

I so relate to all that has been written on this board, even tho some of the dementias have different symptons and reactions--we are all dealing with a very very difficult situation.

So just wanted you all to know you have really helped me---I appreciate it.

Good thoughts to all of you,

Linda

Hi Linda -

Welcome! So sorry your DH has that diagnosis, especially at such a young age.

This board is a good source of information, ideas, suggestions, other points of view, and (as you said) most important, a sense of humor. As was said in Steel Magnolias, sometimes you've just got to laugh.

I'm Barbara, age 53, and live in Virginia. My little 88 yr. old widowed mother had Alzheimer's for about 4 years before her death 6 months ago.

Another important lesson to learn here is that you're not alone on this most unwelcome path. We understand.

Blessings - Barbara :wave:

Hey Barbara, Thanks, sometimes you just have to talk to people that are "in the know" I have family and friends that I adore and are very helpful, but really have no idea as to the circumstances. When they visit they want me to have my husband do crossword puzzles and games and such--they have no idea that he is wayyyyyyyy beyond that and only frustrates him.

Even Mayo told me, do not try to make him do those brain things--he is beyond that.

By the way, I live in Florida, and love Virginia, beautiful country.

Thanks for welcoming me, Linda

Hi! I'm Barb and I'm from a town called Romeoville, Illinois. That's near Chicago. I'm 42. My husband, 16 y/o son and I moved in with ny dad a year ago to care for him. He just turned 79 and has alzheimer's. He's had it for about 8 years. At least that's about when we noticed the first symptoms.

Like you, I'm so glad I came to this board. You will find a lot of support and experience here. I've gotten a lot of great ideas here on how to cope with or manage things where my dad is concerned. And as you pointed out, the humor here really helps. I know that when a stressful situation arises, I can come on this board and read something that makes me laugh. That helps a LOT!

Welcome!

Hugs, Barb

Like Liverwurst on ice-cream ........

hehehehehehe

Hugs & welcome

Sally

hi linda,
i'm a newbie myself. my mom has AD - she's 76 and lives with my quickly burning-out stepfather who is 84. i'm in maryland, am single and live closest to my parents so more and more of the caregiving seems to be my responsibility....just don't know how i'll keep handling it as things get worse, while having to work to support myself. i feel lucky that my mom is very pleasant, "happily confused". i'm hoping that won't change....

Sueb2b---Oh girl, I am soooo fortunate, I was able to quit working--altho it killed me to do so. Have worked all my life, so this is difficult. But one day I left for 2 hours came home and my hubby was frying corned beef hash on the stove-----------------still in the can-------OMG-----the good news he had just started. Not sure what happens to a can heated on high--and hope I never have to find out!! That is when I decided he could not be left alone.

So I do relate to your problem--I mean you have to work--so the next step is someone there to look in on them--if you can find it. I have no great answers, but it will get worse--not better--sorry to say.

So you need to really really think about it.

Maybe someone else here will have better answers.

Linda

Hi Linda, Hi Sue, Hi Everyone!

I am Martha, just turned 66, separated, a Mom and a Grandma. And my 96 year old Mom has some form of dementia, undiagnosed. It began over a year ago when she began to go out and forget how to get home. I live with her in a NYC apartment house. I still go to work every day for a total of 9 hours including my bus/subway commute, and it petrifies me to think of what could happen when I'm out, while she is alone 3 hours until her Home health Aide comes. We just can't afford to pay for more hours. My 2 siblings think it is ok.

BUT I have seen Mom standing in front of the burning toaster/oven not knowing how to turn it off. I have seen her going out in nightgown and slippers in the cold of winter to 'look for a glove I dropped in the hall" and had to run after her, already on the street ..

I have 10 weeks to go before my brother and sister in law will take over her care and move her to their house, and it is very scary to me, in fact, anxiety producing ..

Thanks for sharing your problems, I will pray for you and hope for solutions.

yikes martha! 10 more weeks without enough help??? i'm thinking maybe a volunteer organization could help....maybe you could call social services or even a church. i agree, sounds scary considering your mom's condition.

linda, i hate to say it but i had a chuckle when i imagined the can in the frying pan. one of those bittersweet things that takes place in AD land. i'm okay for now, have set some limits on how much time i go over to my moms. and i have one sister who is somewhat available but has three kids and gets pretty stressed. i just fear the day 'something' happens to my stepfather - we don't have a plan so i figure i'll have to move it........ahhhhh.......but i love my mom and feel guilty ahhhhhing.......and i don't even mind spending time with her cause she's so sweet....it's just that i lose myself b/c everything is in slow motion.......and to 'help' her i learn to think like she does.....then have to 'stop' thinking like she does to adjust to the world again.....and the air is stuffy and the house is too warm and my stepfather wants to talk atlka talk talk talk talk talk at me not to me and i just sorta flatline...........

oops, sorry. went off a bit. but you're right, we do need to get a plan in place for when 'something' happens. i think the next step is to begin checking out nursing homes/assisted living.

take care everyone....

Sue---for sure, I too kind of laughed over the can in the frying pan what else can you do???

I too flatline sometime with my hubby, I too feel guilty, but you have to for peace of mind. I do not have children but remember when I would go to a friends and her kids would be screaming and she would just calmly sit there talking to me. I am like "how the H can you ignore the kids" She calmly looked at me and said, "its called sanity"--lol.

So we all do what we can.