Hi,

It may sound weird, but i'm getting REALLY mad when my wife is making mistakes while driving the car.
What irritates me is that she's doing illogical things like driving too slowly when many cars wait behind or too fast in narrow places. She can't normally park. It takes her 20 minutes to park between 2 cars.

My problem is that each time she does something wrong i'm getting mad. It adds up very fast and within 5 minutes i cannot control myself. I'm not the calmest person but i don't have serious anger problems.

I tried many techniques, but you have to understand that it's really hard to "count to ten with deep breath" while you are running into the next car.

Ideally i should tell her in calm voice what to do, but i panic and start to yell.

I don't want to take permanent medicine like lithium. Is there some kind one-time relaxant?
Is beCALM'd or Relora are any good?

Thanks.

Is there some reason you don't drive instead of your wife?

Does she drive like this when other people are in the car or just you? LOL. No seriously, just sign her up for a driving school course - It takes the load off your shoulders an you don't have to be that mean ogar that you are really not- " It would be safer for both you and me.... if you took this course" maybe if she takes the safety course as well you could get a discount on your auto insurance.

Tell her youre getting flashbacks and going to cause PTSD.

Hi Totah,
I can relate to that !
There are a couple of things you can try...
Like Belle said, why dont you drive ?
If your wife has to be driver, try doing things to take your mind off what SHE is doing. You probably arent aware of it but you may be spending the whole trip watching and waiting for her to mess up...The problem if thats happening is she will be SO aware of that and make even more mistakes ! lol
If it doesnt make you ill, try reading or writing while shes driving, send text messages to friends on your phone, anything!
Also one youve gotten where you are going, if parking may take some time, jump out and let her know a designated place where you can meet when she has parked...You dont have to stress about the parking and she will probably find it much easier without you in the car (no offence)
Not sure where in the world you are but could you both take public transport ? Might save you some money and mother nature will be a happy lady too !
Good Luck !

Hi, thanks for your replies.

The main reason my wife is driving is to prepare for times when she will have to drive. She might need it to get to work. Also when we visit our friends i might want to take a beer or two.
I tried to listen to music or to read but that didn't help. The moment we approach some dangerous situation, my fuse blows off and i start to yell.
The only solution (if you can call it a solution) i've found so far is to take a can of strong beer before we leave. That slows me down somewhat but doesn't work in 100%.

hmmm maybe you can have specific times when she drives to practice- like start when there isnt alot of traffic on the road and then work your way to busier streets the better she gets. or maybe one of her friends can take her out driving to practice instead of you and when you 2 go places- you drive.

i dont think u should really take medication for this reason tho if this is the only time u lose your temper. lots of people have road rage its not really something u have to take medication for.

good luck with your wife i hope she gets the hang of driving soon! :P

[This message has been edited by blondie_punk_girll (edited 10-04-2003).]

Hello -

I have a husband who does something very similar when I am driving. I do not believe I drive that badly, I know I do mess up sometimes, but he has also, have you? I really am not trying to turn on you, maybe your wife is just to uptight while she drives, who knows? All I know is that being on the recieveing end of the yelling is crappy. Any I do believe that the should find something to work on road rage. If I thought he yelled at me, I actualy shudder when he is on the phone w/ me going off on someone else. To put it in another light, I would never want to piss him off if I didn't know him. Hopefully you can just learn to relax and tell her a bit more gently when she needs some help. Maybe that would boost her confidence and improve her driving. Get it figured out before you go crazy! At least you asked for other options. That was cool to begin with!

Good luck,

Karmon