Today I threw away my pills. Just looking at that pack of pills makes me mad!

I went off triphaysil about 5 years ago to get pg with my 2nd child and didn't go back on them after she was born. I remember thinking during that time that I felt really good and at some point I made the connection to the fact that I was no longer taking bc. Well my 3rd child (planned, not because I wasn't on bc :) is now 1 1/2 and hubby and I aren't sure if we want 1 more or not so we decided that I should start bc again. I was very reluctant and put it off for quite awhile b4 I started taking them. Rightly so! I curse the day I popped that first pill!

My Dr. and I decided on Nordette taken continuously to have the Seasonale effect of 4 periods a year since I have pretty bad pms. I'm close to done with my 3rd pack and have been a mess pretty much from the beginning!

It started out in the first couple days with being very, very edgy. I was quick to get mad at the kids and all their normal kid behavior was all of a sudden making me want to scream. Then I started obsessing about housework and feeling overwhelmed, which is a problem I do normally have but this was baaaaaad... much worse than normal. I am extremely tired all of the time to the point where I'm doing next to nothing meanwhile obsessing about everything that needs to get done. Generally I'm active and happy and a workout lifts my mood anytime I'm down. NOT while on the pill tho. I feel like I'm in this depressed fog that no matter what I try I can't get out of. As tough as it is for me to admit I am mildly suicidal with the passing thoughts of, "if I just died it would all be better". The final straw (like that isn't enough!)is that I feel like if I stay on these things I will end up leaving my husband because everything he does is making me seriously mad and I can't even sleep in bed next to him without having anxiety attacks because I'm so angry with him. It's not helping his feelings towards me any either! And we haven't even really been having any sex while I've been on it because not only am I always mad at him but my sex drive in non-existant...so what's the point anyway??

So today I stopped, I can not stand another day of this. I like the idea of being able to take a pill and not worry about getting pg but this isn't worth it... I can't live my life like this! I know that if I try other kinds I might come up with one that works well for me without these side effects but I just can't see going through this with how many other pills it might take to find one that works right for me. My kids life (and my own) is too precious to waste this kind of time feeling HORRIBLE! I am going back to the good ole fashioned timing method and when we are sure were done having kids he can get the big "V". I am praying this stuff leaves my system quick!

I guess the only point I have in posting this is to share my story and would like to hear others thoughts. I did spend a few hours (since I'm too tired to do anything but sit here!) reading through old posts so I know there are many others with stories like mine. It's too bad that this isn't something health practitioners normally share with their patients. It wasn't something my Dr. ever brought up with me and IN FACT I called them yesterday to tell them I thought it was making me seriously depressed and wanted to know what they thought I should do.... they took my # and told me they would pull my chart and call me back. Do you know they never even called me back??? Guess it's time to make a change there as well!

Sorry so long but it feels good to share my story. Everyone be well and pay attention to those bods of yours!

I just started taking Ortho Tri Lo on March 6 and I'm sorry I ever started! The doctor gave me a few sample packs of them to try because I've had long, heavy periods (a couple were 25 days each). I started my period February 27, the pills on March 6, and I am still bleeding after 32 days!!

A week after I started taking them I began getting irritable, depressed and moody. I've actually been eating less and eating healthier and have gained three pounds. For the past seven days, the cycle has been heavy. I have also had cramps, which I haven't had in years. The pain is even going into my butt and down my right leg. Last night I was awake for several hours with cramping and blood gushing out of me.

I called the doctor yesterday and have an appointment in a couple weeks. I didn't take the pill yesterday and I'll never take one again!

I had a BAD experience with OTC reg and low and I finished the packet, call my gyno and they saw me immediately because they thought there was something else wrong since I was suppose to use that pill to do the seasonale method. It was the nurse that actually thought there was something wrong, but my gyno and I knew exactly what was wrong and it was that my body couldn't take that pill. He switched me immediately to Alesse. After a few months on that pill, the seasonale method stopped working and I began spotting at the 6th week, 9th week and called my gyno again. He switched me back to what I was taking before....Loestrin FE 1.5/30's. That seems to be the winner! Keep in mind that every woman's bodies are different and what might work for me may not work for someone else. After everything you've been through I know you are frustrated, but don't give up. There's other type of pills out there or like you said, your hubby could get the "V". First, you need to find out why your gyno or the nurse practioner didn't call you back. VERY RUDE and SOOOO unprofessional. Changing gyno's isn't fn, but I would want to find one that I feel comfortable with as well as feel comfortable to be able to call and get some type of response back within a couple of days. Hang in there!! Take the time to look at what you have...a family that I'm sure cares for YOU and will do anything for you. He's probably just confused about what is going on with you and doens't know how to fix the problem. Hopefully you've communicated to him that it's the pill that's making you feel the way you do. Things WILL get better with time.

Thank you for your words. I am definitly keeping my big picture in view as I work my way through this :) I am already feeling a little better this evening and am hoping that tomorrow I'll wake up feeling a little better and hopefully soon back to NORMAL!

I wont try any other pills, I'm just not willing to put myself or my family through this again... it seems like if I keep trying various pills and I have to give them so much time to regulate that I could spend ages feeling like a crazy person trying to find one. I guess if I didn't have the three kids it might be easier but it's so hard to feel awful while trying to take care of a family!

Oh, and I am so switching gyno's... no call again today! For all they know I was so depressed that I up and killed myself, so great of them to care!! That sounds bad but you know I did have thoughts of killing myself and I told them that I was feeling seriously depressed and needed to know what to do... *I* have a firm grip on things and what is going on and just called to get their opinion on where to go as far as going off but what about someone who calls and is just on the deep end totally out of control and they just don't call them back. So wrong of them! *** I am NOT in any way going to hurt myself... even tho I've had the thoughts I'm very much in control of those feelings and know that it's bcz of the pill***

I am very glad you found a pill that works for you, it's such a convienent form of birth control when you find one that works well with your body. I wish you all the best!

I am so glad that you started this thread. I just came off the pill 3wks ago and it is only now that I realized the awful grip it had on my life and myself. I feel like a new being, not being nervous and jittery and hungry or nervous and jittery at any sign of hunger and not having hunger like ALWAYS!!! I was never full, never satisfied and always having to control myself around food. It was shear torture, I run up to 30miles per week, and weight train, I would sometimes gain a lb a week! It was driving me crazy, I couldn't eat any tropical fruit or grains, or most things that healthy health concious people eat and it was soooo very frustrating and sad. I felt like I was about to slip off into a depression about my stuck weight and puffy appearance. My appetite is back to normal, I don't obsess about food all the time and I am calm and balanced and my mood is not always ready for jump off. I want to write a letter to my doc. and change her, I can't believe that 5yrs she NEVER once asked, how the pills made me feel or even what was going on or how I felt. I'd to do all my own investigating, and all she had to say when I told her that I quit taking the pill was "Oh its only supposed to make you gain 5lbs, mostly fluid" YEAH RIGHT!!! That's utter bull I couldn't go near bread, rice, pasta....and on and on, I was basically eating broccoli salad and chicken and still couldn't crack a pound off!!! Now that's crazy, I would also get severe PMS symtoms and my mouth would have the weirdest taste that no amount of sugar and salt could cure, and my temper would flare, I would knash my teeth and come undone at the slightest thing. The pill basically turned me MENTAL and it is great to know that it wasn't just me and I wasn't the only one! Thanks again for posting this where we could vent :)

We can just be thankful that we came to the realization that it was the bc! I think there are so many woman out there dealing with mood swings and emotional issues associated with the pills and they don't even know it. Most Dr's will never bring this up or ask if you've noticed changes in your mood since going on it... it's like this big secret or something! I was thinking what if I didn't make the connection between my seriously bad mood and the pills and I just continued down this road to what.. a possbile divorce because of the pill?! How sad would that be?

Anyway, keep the stories/venting coming... I don't like hearing that you've gone through the same hard times I did but it does help to know I'm not alone or that I'm not just imagining this correlation and if we can make one person realize that their life has been changed for the neg because of their pill than maybe we can help someone else! I just want people to be aware to pay attention to their bodies/emotions after going on bc (well and any medication really) so they don't suffer needlessly.

It makes me so sad reading all of your posts, I am going through the same thing. I was on the pill for 4 years, i switched a couple times, and went off of them for a good period of time... it was then that i started to feel really really good. I wouldn't get upset at little things like i used to (when on the pill) My body felt good, I was happy, and my relationship with my boyfriend was at its peak. BUT I get really bad cramps when off the pill, and my skin gets really bad, so i went back on the pill, tried yasmin for 3 months, and im in my 3rd week of Marvelon. I FEEL LIKE CRAP. I feel like crying all the time, i feel like everyone is against me, and i have little patience (sp?) with everyone (and thats not the kind of person i am). A friend of mine and I realized.. that its THE PILL thats doing this to us. Its NOT worth it, like you said. I feel so bad for my family and for my boyfriend, and for my co-workers to have to deal with my moods... and i try so hard not to feel like this, but i just cant control my feelings, and normally i can. I dont know what to do. How many girls, are living a medeocre life from being on the pill, and not even know it? It's really sad! These girls mayb be viewed as others as moody, or bitchy, when its not their fault! My girlfriend's mom is always on her case about being so moody, and she was never like that before.
I'm ready to quit. I am going to deal with the NATURAL symptoms that occur in my body; the cramps and the acne... We can use other methods of contraceptive.. ITS JUST NOT WORTH IT..
good luck everyone!! Thanks for sharing all your stories.