kt41577
04-02-2005, 01:11 PM
I need some advice, my friend just lost her baby this morning, he was 5 months old, and he has a twin sister. he had surgery yesterday to repair a clef lip, she brought him home, and this morning he stopped breathing she balmes herself for not bringing him in to the hospital sooner. I haven't seen her yet, but I don't know what to do or say. please help.
Sponsor
4given1
04-02-2005, 03:06 PM
This is so sad...I will pray for your friend.
I've found that in times of great loss, there really are no words. The best thing, I believe, that you can do is just let her know that you're there for her. It's o.k. to ask her if she needs anything, or what she needs, but the best thing I've found in times of grief is to just find a need and supply it. She probably doesn't feel like preparing meals right now; you could enlist the help of some friends and prepare a full meal for her, some desserts, etc. Give lots of hugs, especially during the times when you feel as if you can't find the right words. And if you are spiritual, let her know that you are praying for comfort and peace for her grieving heart.
I've found that in times of great loss, there really are no words. The best thing, I believe, that you can do is just let her know that you're there for her. It's o.k. to ask her if she needs anything, or what she needs, but the best thing I've found in times of grief is to just find a need and supply it. She probably doesn't feel like preparing meals right now; you could enlist the help of some friends and prepare a full meal for her, some desserts, etc. Give lots of hugs, especially during the times when you feel as if you can't find the right words. And if you are spiritual, let her know that you are praying for comfort and peace for her grieving heart.
kt41577
04-02-2005, 05:48 PM
4given1-thanks, I just don't know how to deal with this one. I've had many family members pass away, including my 18 year old cousin who was murdered. and my grandparents who were everything to me. but this is too hard. she is only 27, and her first children, and she had a hard time getting pregnant. I'm in shock, and I can't even imagine how they are feeling.
thank you for the prayers, I've been praying all day for them.
thank you for the prayers, I've been praying all day for them.
Tiffyholman
04-02-2005, 07:08 PM
I am 26 and I have a 3 year old, I can't imagine losing him. I just lost my mom a month ago, I think they best thing you can do for your friend is be a shoulder to cry on, let he do the talking just tell her your here no matter what time of day it is your here for her to talk to, cry with, and hold..... that was the most important thing with my mom dying but like I said I can't imagine losing a child. I will be praying for you and her and her family
last1
04-02-2005, 09:38 PM
Dear KT4- This is every parents' nightmare. But you like a perfect friend who is genuine in her concern and love. Remember everything that everyone has said here: words will not make your friend's pain go away, it's way too soon for that. You need to be present to her pain and sadness. If you have a church family, now is the time to call them together and give each an assignment. You may be able to care for her other child while she makes arrangements. But listen to your heart, it will lead you in the right direction. All of us will be praying for you and for your friend. Please, stay in touch...CS
kt41577
04-03-2005, 02:50 PM
thank you again for advice and support. I spoke with my friends this morning, and are doing as well as expected, they have a lot of family over right now, so I'm hanging back and will go when things settle down. they said they are staying strong because of their daughter, they are still not sure what happened, they think he passed away on the way home from the hospital after his surgery. he stopped breathing in the car. I don't understand why they released him!! they are having an autopsy done to make sure its not genetic, or if it was the hospital's fault. I think my friend will need me the most when everyone goes back to their lives after the funeral, most of her family is out of town.
these boards are wonderful support groups, I'm usually on the back one because of a condition I have, and then I saw this board, and I'm thankful.
I pray for all of you who have lost loved ones. Hug and kiss your loved ones today and always...
these boards are wonderful support groups, I'm usually on the back one because of a condition I have, and then I saw this board, and I'm thankful.
I pray for all of you who have lost loved ones. Hug and kiss your loved ones today and always...
kt41577
04-06-2005, 09:32 PM
the baby's funeral was this morning, my fiance went and said it was beautiful. (I couldn't go because I just started a new job, and couldn't take the time.) I feel awful, but they understood. He said that they were doing really well, and they are being strong for their daughter. I had a picture of the baby sleeping, and it was a great profile, so I had the picture engraved on a gold pendant, that his baby sister can wear when she's older.
thanks for your support and prayers....
thanks for your support and prayers....
last1
04-06-2005, 11:08 PM
Dear kt4: What you've done is one of the most beautiful gestures I have ever heard. You are obviously a very special friend and this family will treasure your friendship for many years as will baby's sister treasure her gift. It's hard to say "why they discharged the baby." It could have been hospital error, it could have been just because....I've known of people who have a check-up with their doctor who tells they're fine and they go home and keel over. Just keep doing what your doing. You're right, they will need you most when the circus goes away. cflas
kt41577
05-05-2005, 01:56 PM
well things have settled down for the family, and they are still doing ok, the baby sister is healthy, and doing great. the got part of the autopsy report and he was very healthy, everything was ok with major organs, so they believe there was complications from surgery, they don't know just yet. thanks to all for keeping them in your prayers. and I will keep you posted. I pray for all of you who have lost loved ones.