My 72 year old mother recently fell and severely fractured her arm requiring her to have surgery and making it impossible for her to drive. A month after the surgery she started to have severe pain in her hip and was told yesterday that she has osteoporosis. She has not taken any of this well. Ever since her arm injury she's been sleeping quite a bit and has had no desire to go anywhere or talk to any of her friends. I've told her primary Dr. about this and she has not really commented on it except to tell Mom that she should get up and do more. At least once a week she tells me how sorry she is for being such a burden. I have a 9 year old autistic son. I'm used to much worse than this and I've told her so. She has done so much for me and my kids I'm just glad I can be of some help to her. I've also told her this. I don't know what to do to help her get over this. Any advice?

You might consider getting a second medical opinion. My mother is 88 and has some had some simlar medical problems in the past. We went through a period where she was crying for no reason, ect, ect. We have a family history of chronic depression, which is a medical problem, and luckily Mother's doctor recognized that she could not simply 'do more'. He prescribed Zoloft for her, first in a minimum doze and then later a somewhat larger one. She has been on it for nearly two years now, and we've had no recurrences of the depression.

Depression is not necessarily a permanent condition (Both my daughter and myself have had bouts of it that were helped by the 'temporary' use of antidepressants.) In your mother's case, it might be simply a matter of helping her 'over the hump'. You might want to talk to her physician about a short course of treatment. Has the doctor perscribed anything for her hip pain? That alone can be debilitating, and if that is being somewhat controlled, she may feel more 'mobile' and active. Also, could some of her friends help in that area? (Visiting, calling, ect....)

[This message has been edited by Sallen (edited 06-22-2001).]

Thanks, Sallen. My mom is taking vioxx for the hip pain and it doesn't seem to be helping. Yes, there is a history of depression/suicide in my family and that's whats got me worried. My mom has never been a particularly happy person and I think this has just made it worse. I corresponded by fax once with the Dr. as my mom says she has no control over her life if I bring these things up to the Dr. in front of her. She won't bring them up herself. I will be faxing the Dr. again. Thanks, again.

By all means, keep us posted (so to speak). More than glad to offer something. Could just be the doctor doesn't realize how depressed she is. Sounds like the 'lack of control' issue is weighing heavy on her too. Mom and I were lucky in that with her that occured gradually, and we were able to adjust over time, but there are times she still feels I'm too 'bossy' :) , usually when I'm telling her she can't do something like use the electric hedgetrimmer by herself.

Take care of yourself too!

Mom went to Dr. today and was given a prescription for Paxil. No, the Dr. didn't know how depressed she's been and I don't think she knew our family history either. Thanks, Sallen! :)

Fantastic! Hope she gets along well on it! And more than glad to help....let me know how she gets along!

MY mom got in her car and drove to get gas yesterday. YEAH! The neighbors gave her a standing ovation when she got home. :)

Wonderful!!!!! I am sooo glad she's getting along better. Sometimes just knowing there's something there to help is a wonderful feeling! She definately deserves the praise....and a great big hug! And so do you, my dear, since you recognized she needed the help!

Haven't heard from you for a while...how's your Mom doing?