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JenQ2
12-15-2001, 10:20 AM
Any suggestions, helpful feedback???
My mom has terminal cancer, I moved her into my apartment..my roomate is moving out...the landlord is raising our rent..my boyfriend is most likely going to propose this Christmas...I want a new apartment but I have cats so it's going to be hard to get one... I want to go back to school (when this situation changes) AND my in-laws to-be are driving me crazy. Can you tell I have General Anxiety Disorder !!???
Not sure what my point is, I guess you could say I am stressed beyond belief...well, there is NO WAY I'm putting my mom in a nursing home, I worked in one for years and would never subject her to that! Thank God for Hospice...and for helpful relatives ( they help a little with finances).
Are there any caregivers out there with G.A.D. and if so are you on medication for it??? My back is so tense that it feels like I have rocks in my muscles! Iv'e tried massage, Chiropractors etc., medication is really my last resort.
I'm 30 and my mom is 51...getting very depressed over the fact we will miss so may events together and that this will be her last Christmas.

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boaz
12-21-2001, 12:02 AM
Jen,
God bless you honey, I know how you feel, I don't know what I have I get so depressed and stressed I don't want to go on. I'm 34, my mom is in a wheelchair from rheumatoid arthritis, she's not terminal like yours. I have to do some mild tugging (not lifting) so I know about back pains. I used to go to chiros too, man it did help the tense muscles. But since I injured my lower back in auto accident, and going to physical therapy, they told me that chiro treatment can hyperflex your back and CAUSE problems!! ARGH!! I'd stick with the massages. I have no help with her whatso ever, she's pretty much helpless. I have to think ahead and prepare for the day, (meals, drinks, ect) I just finished short term dental assisting school cause you only had to go twice a weeknight. Got a job offer, but don't think I can swing it, on top of my mom, I have to help my husband out, he broke his leg bad at work over a year ago, had a big plate put in. And then had cervical neck/disk surgery. Now he's strained his back at work from lifting. ect.ect. I don't know what I was even thinking going to school? By the time I even get to work I'll be crazier than a junebug or too old! So I have to sacrifice now and hope it will all work out later. I want this job so bad, and accepted the offer without even thinking of the difficulty with all my responsibilities. My best friend did the same thing, took care of her father for 14 years while raising three babies, and a stupid demanding husband. Now she's getting divorced, her father is gone, and emotionally shes spent. I thank God I have someone that truely understands how hard this is. Especially in my case, my mom was never a loving mother to start out with, and we've had a lot of arguments. Find something to destress your self, cause this will take its toll on you. Muscle relaxers may help, an antidepressant may also, I like Effexor, except for the sexual side effects. i would'nt hesitate to get some meds, at least during the stressful periods. Post back if you'd like to talk further.....I'm here to lend a friendly understanding ear......best wishes

Carreen
12-21-2001, 08:48 AM
Well you're sure going through some trying times there Jen. :( Don't hesitate to seek assistance to help you through this. It's not selfish or weak to seek help or be on meds. See you've taken the first step to come here and seek help :) Alot of people think being on medication for anxiety makes them a failure by not being able to control it on their own. Sometimes, like in your case, things just become too much. Anyone in your situation would be anxiety ridden and to have GAD on top of that is hard. Medications for this condition saves peoples lives. It helps them cope. It's never a bad thing to try and help yourself cope.

Try and illiminate some of your stress if you can. For example if the in-laws-to-be are driving you crazy, maybe you could speak with your fiance about it. In turn, he could speak to his parents. When people ask if there is anything they can do to help, accept their help. People who love you truly do want to help. Let them pick you up a few groceries, run errand, maybe stay around so you can take a hot bath etc.
The people at hospice can fix you up with a good doctor to help you along if you don't have one. They handle these situations frequently. Good luck to you.

researcher40
12-22-2001, 06:09 PM
Jen, I know its very stressful, my mom has cancer. My whole life evolves around cancer. I agree with the other posts..If there is a pill that will help your anxiety go for it.. I've never tried Buspar but I work with women that have and it may be a alternative for a anti-depression pill. But I'm curious what kind of cancer your mother has? Why is she termed terminal? They haven't used that word with my mother yet but I think that is the conclusion... Thanks for your info...Laura





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