I am a care giver of my father who has ALS. I also work for Hospice, (a company that takes special care of people who are dying) I am new to this forum, but would like more caregivers to speak out. It is the hardest job I have ever done. Being a mother of a 2 year old, there is nothing compared to this. My father was diagnosed in Aug of 2001, and since I have been by his side 100%. I started this job with Hopice about a month ago. It has been so diffecult and beautiful at the same time. I think caregiving for someone who is severely ill or dying is the greatest gift. Yet, at the same time it is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life so far. I pray for all caregivers in the world for they may have the strength and compassion they need. I love and hate it...

Originally posted by slaughter17:
I am a care giver of my father who has ALS. I also work for Hospice, (a company that takes special care of people who are dying) I am new to this forum, but would like more caregivers to speak out. It is the hardest job I have ever done. Being a mother of a 2 year old, there is nothing compared to this. My father was diagnosed in Aug of 2001, and since I have been by his side 100%. I started this job with Hopice about a month ago. It has been so diffecult and beautiful at the same time. I think caregiving for someone who is severely ill or dying is the greatest gift. Yet, at the same time it is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life so far. I pray for all caregivers in the world for they may have the strength and compassion they need. I love and hate it...

Hi...I too am a caregiver to people that have both physical and mental disabilities...I dearly love my job and the people that i have had the privalage to work with. I believe that it takes a special person to do the jobs that you and I do...Take Care Tweeteebird!

I too am a caregiver to people that have both mental and physical disabilities. I dearly love my job and the special people that have entered my life. I was once told that it takes a unique person to do this typw of work...I agree!! That's you and I....Take Care...Tweetee

I too am a caregiver to people that have both mental and physical disabilities. I dearly love my job and the special people that have entered my life. I was once told that it takes a unique person to do this typw of work...I agree!! That's you and I....Take Care...Tweetee

I give you all the credit in the world to you and to everyone who is a care giver.

What a precious gift you all give to the people you are caring for.

I was also a care giver at one time until I got a disability myself.

Bless you all and know that you are all special people.

take care
Cattys

I have been a caregiver, too, for my parents. My father died 3 years ago, and my mother in April this year. Like you, it's the hardest job I ever did, but would do it all again. There were plenty of times I thought I was gonna have a nervous breakdown -- or at least screaming and crying fits -- and felt ready to drop in my tracks from utter exhaustion and stress. Please know that you're not alone and there're plenty of good folks here ready to listen and help.

Hi. I care for my mother who lives with us. She has congestive heart failure and COPD. She became especially ill since last November. They cannot do any kind of surgery because her heart is so deteriorated that it wouldn't help.. The meds they would have to give her would kill her one remaining kidney as well so she is between a rock and a hard place. Her heart works at only about 10-20 percent and they are shocked that she has lasted this long.. But she is one strong lady, and though all of the family has made it clear that she has permission to go anytime she likes, we are happy to have her with us as long as she likes as well.

My biggest problem is "me". I have a nurturing need to feed.. I "hate" it when she won't eat, but the hospice nurses as well as the doctor say that I can't push it or I can make it worse..IE nausea, bloating and general discomfort.. So I don't push it, but it kills me!!

With her symptoms lately she is not expected to last the month, but they said that last month too, so only her and God knows the time.. I just do my best to keep her out of pain and comfortable.

Any time that you need someone to talk to, just post!! I know I will!! I need all the support I can get.. God Bless you in all you do. Laura

I too am a caregiver now for 10 years and i have a 2 year old, i stay very busy and very stressed at times but it is a very rewarding profession and i think one day we will all be repayed for the help we give other, i took care of my grandmother who dyed of lung cancer and i was very close too her, she suffered for 2 yrs and when i work i think about her and try to imagine that the person i am caring for is family that way i give them the best care, but its not always easy, i am working now on becoming a nurse and i am sure i have a long road ahead but very rewading too.
God Bless

I too am working to be a nurse. I was in school 2 years ago. since then I havn't had the time to do it. Between work and taking care of my dad plus having a family, I just can't keep up. Some days I get frustrated with myself because I feel I havn't accomplished my goals. But, then I think about what it really means to do what I am doing now, and I get through. I wish to do more than what I am doing at this point. I know I can give more. I guess I am afraid that if I start a new project right now, something in my life would suffer not having my attention. I don't regret not finishing school. But, I know I will in a few years. I someday hope to go back to school and finish. I keep waiting for my life to reach a calm point. Maybe it never will and I just need to do it. Anyway, I hope everyone can reach their goals dispite what obstacles they come across...God bless

I have read all the posts on this site,and I want you all to know,that I feel very relieved to know ,that I really am not alone!
I have been on disability sence I was 28 years old. I am now 52. I have never been married due to the fact I knew no one could cope with the problems I have with depression. It is a hereditary illness. It goes way back in my family. So I have always watched out for my parents.When I was a child I never asked what I wanted for Xmas.I always worried about the bills being paid. I could have not asked for a better Mother ,than the one I have. My Father is a force to be reckoned with, but I never could just turn my back on him.He has the same problems I do,but he never could understand anything about it,or why he has it. I had a strange childhood! In a way I don't think I really ever had a childhood.
Anyway I have both parents with me.I have 2 older brothers.I am the youngest. My oldest brother hasn't bother with us at all for I guess about 3 years now.My other brother we see maybe every 3 weeks or so. So I have been trying to keep things together by myself. My brothers are too busy looking out for the In-laws,and waiting to cash in.To put it bluntly!
one of my brothers had to put his mothe-in-law in a nursing home just recently. He was not happy to find out,that he could not cash in, because the nursing home took it all,and then some.My parents have never been wealthly,but they are my parents,and I love them! My Mother is now 77 years old.Never spent a day in the hospital except when she had us. So it all happened when I turned 50 years old.Here she hadn't been in the hospital sense I was born,and then one right after the other she had to have operations. 2 knees replaced,her back operated on.Her spine was so bad she only had a pin hole for spinal fluid to flow through.2 Days before her back was operated on her legs went totally numb,and she just stood up at the table,and she twisted he ankle (or so she thought) That night I was in the emergency room with her. To make a really long story shorter! She broke her foot. She had to be operated on with a broken foot.Sense then she has had ulcerative colitis,her back muscles are weak,and she has to use a walker all the time, but she never gives up. I had to take the car keys away from her,and it broke my heart to see the look on her face! I felt, and still feel so guilty over this ,but I had to do it,because of her having too many accidents.Plus she now has RLS. Her legs still have numbness in them every once in a while.
My Dad has had one operation after another for one thing ,or another sense he was 17 years old.He gave,and gives us a very hard time,but I think his constitution is what has kept him going.He is about the most bullheaded person I know. He is now 83. And I know he is in better health,than my Mother,& I are today.They have been married for 57 yrs. I can't believe they stayed together this long.Believe me it was very rocky!! I'm sorry this is so long,but I guess I'm like the rest of you.I just had to get some of this out in the open. I love them though,and I will continue to look out for them as long as I can.My brother wants me to start looking for a place for them.But they are not ready ,nor due they need a nursing home yet. So Hang in there all caregivers! And Thank You for letting me unload on you,and letting me know I am not alone! Bless You All! sjg

Hello, all! I have just found this website, and am thinking that its a true Godsend. I was searching for something completely different when this popped up, and I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, so, I did find you all for a reason, namely, to keep my sanity!! (see also, menopause forum.. LOL)
I am a home health care worker, I work with hospice, and geriatrics who are suffering many physical and mental changes. Its such a hard job, both physically and mentally, but its also so rewarding to know that I made a difference in someones life, no matter how small. I have worked in nursing homes off and on for 23 years, but, when my back and mental state could no longer handle it, I went to home care. Its so much better to have the chance to be one on one with my patients. I have also worked with developmentally disabled individuals of all ages in group homes, and loved it as well, and am considering going back to that, but I have found that the pay for that sort of job is just so not figured in relation to the job. I have also found that in home health care for seniors, have any of the rest of you had problems with low pay in this line of work? I am in Illinois, and was just wondering about the pay rates in other states. I sometimes think that if I were rich, or married to a rich man, I would do this work for free, but, alas, it cant happen,, the bill collectors run my life!!!
Well, Ill go for now, I am actually at work,, shhhh.... but, I just wanted to say that Im looking forward to sharing thoughts with you all, and to give a Big Yiiipeeeee to all us angels in scrubs!!! We are great, and we cant ever forget that!! Peace and Love to you all! Bev.

I am a care giver of my father who has ALS. I also work for Hospice, (a company that takes special care of people who are dying) I am new to this forum, but would like more caregivers to speak out. It is the hardest job I have ever done. Being a mother of a 2 year old, there is nothing compared to this. My father was diagnosed in Aug of 2001, and since I have been by his side 100%. I started this job with Hopice about a month ago. It has been so diffecult and beautiful at the same time. I think caregiving for someone who is severely ill or dying is the greatest gift. Yet, at the same time it is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life so far. I pray for all caregivers in the world for they may have the strength and compassion they need. I love and hate it...


I am glad you said that it was harder than being the mother of a 2 year old. I have no children and have been accused of not knowing what stress was because of this. I cared for my mom a long time--off and on for more than ten years--the last five years of her life was full time except for my work during the day. She was what the nursing homes called "total care". It was so hard and so frightening--I wish I could have done better. When I look back I wonder how I did it at all. Anyway, it was good to know that someone else thinks it is hard. The worst thing about it for me was that I felt like a parent taking care of a child. I tried to help her maintain her dignity but it was very difficult.

I know what Healthcare Givers are called....

"EARTH ANGELS"

God Bless Each and Every One of You!

Hi,
I have been a home caregiver for 8 yrs. now. I work with elderly hospice and alzheimers patients. I stay in their home for 7 days and then I am off for 7 days. Usually when I go on a job, I stay until the end. I feel it is a privilage and an honor to be able to be with someone when they leave this world, to give them what love and comfort I can ... All at the same time....it is the most emotionally and physically draining thing that I have ever done in my life!!!

People tell me all the time that it takes a special person to do what we do, Maybe so...but I dont really consider myself "special"... It's just something I am good at and I guess it's my calling!!

I think this board is an excellent thing for us caregivers!! One thing I have realized is , that it is absolutely IMPERATIVE that caregivers have someone to talk to that understands what they are going through!!
If nothing but just a place to write down all the days frustrations, whether there is a response or not...just getting it out of our systems seems to help! At least it does me!
I admire those of you that care for your parents! I think that would be the most difficult thing to do!!!!!!!!!!

I too love and hate this profession at times...and always say that this will be my last patient....so far it never is....

HUGS TO ALL OF YOU !!!!!!

Hello, all! I have just found this website, and am thinking that its a true Godsend. I was searching for something completely different when this popped up, and I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, so, I did find you all for a reason, namely, to keep my sanity!! (see also, menopause forum.. LOL)
I am a home health care worker, I work with hospice, and geriatrics who are suffering many physical and mental changes. Its such a hard job, both physically and mentally, but its also so rewarding to know that I made a difference in someones life, no matter how small. I have worked in nursing homes off and on for 23 years, but, when my back and mental state could no longer handle it, I went to home care. Its so much better to have the chance to be one on one with my patients. I have also worked with developmentally disabled individuals of all ages in group homes, and loved it as well, and am considering going back to that, but I have found that the pay for that sort of job is just so not figured in relation to the job. I have also found that in home health care for seniors, have any of the rest of you had problems with low pay in this line of work? I am in Illinois, and was just wondering about the pay rates in other states. I sometimes think that if I were rich, or married to a rich man, I would do this work for free, but, alas, it cant happen,, the bill collectors run my life!!!
Well, Ill go for now, I am actually at work,, shhhh.... but, I just wanted to say that Im looking forward to sharing thoughts with you all, and to give a Big Yiiipeeeee to all us angels in scrubs!!! We are great, and we cant ever forget that!! Peace and Love to you all! Bev.


Hi Bev,

I work in a nursing home. I am in Va and I make $11.00. This is with no health benefits (too costly and not worth it). I am a cna, and went into this line of work as I wanted to make a differance. I sometimes work with two other cna's trying to care for 60 patients. We are unappreciated . I have only been doing this work for a little over a year. I have seen abuse and neglected to horrible too mention. I am getting burnt out, stressed all the time. I want to QUIT, but if I don't do it who will? Thanks for listening.

Hi Jill, I also live in Va and work in a nursing home,(as a CNA), from what you described, we could be working at the same one! I only get paid 8.90 an hr plus benifits. we are WAY underpaid! I too have been hit, cuzed out, you name it ! I also had a 170 lb pt fall on me last year, and to this day I'm still having problems. We are ALWAYS short, and that imo is why there are so many aides getting hurt. The laws really need to change. I love what I do, but it does burn you out so fast working short. The sad thing is , it's our patients that suffer for it. have a great evening.
not_pain_free
:angel:

I was my husbands sole caregiver until he passes early in 03. He died in my arms and it was the most beautiful, painful moment of my life. He was ill for about 3 years and would not allow anyone else to care for him.

I loved and hated it as well. I am in the process of writing a book about caring for a dying loved one. All the ups, downs, and sideways things that go on. I hope others can learn from what we went through and hopefully it will help them deal with all the terrible things that go with caring for somebody you love.

Hello,

I just read your post & want to encourage you in your life! Your plate is more than full. I am not sure if your dad lives with you or not. I have been a care giver for 14 years and it seems I have a calling for it. This job is one of the most rewarding I have ever had. Yes and the most difficult at times. But please beware in this job and with your situation it will take a toll on your emotions, body, personal life. So just be sure you take a break and say you need help when needed. The RN's can point you to some resources! All the best to you my dear! Laura :wave: