How do you release anger without being distructive, by your words or actions to people or things? This is a new emotion for me and I don't quite know how to deal with it. Can someone help me?

Leslie

Anger is a natural "early warning" system that tells you that something or someone is in conflict wiht your needs, views, or beliefs. When someone or something enters into your "anger zone", the emotion of anger warns you that a possible threat exists.
With that in mind, you can learn to constructively express yourself in a positive way without blaming, non-constructive criticism, sarcasm or lecturing.
Destructive communication isn't going to get you what you want---but constructive communication may help you to better communicate what you observe, think, feel and want.
Here are some examples:
"I noticed that the light bill is overdue." (Observtion)
"You didn't balance the check book again." (Accusation)
"You need to clean this place up." (Criticism/Command)
"I'd like to get the house cleaned up this weekend." (Complaint)

As you work to express yourself about an issue, a concern or complaint, try and use the folloiwng:
Step 1: Use I talk---I hear, see, think, feel, etc, etc. instead of you talk--- you always, you never, you need to...
Step 2: Describe:
Sensory Data---What you see and hear
Thoughts---Ideas, judgements, perceptions, beliefs, opinions
Feelings---Emotions of anger, anxiety, hurt, concern
Wants---What I want to do, want from you, want for you
Action Statement----What I've done, doing now and plan on doing.

I know there's a lot of emphasis on the problem of anger---I don't think it's the problem----I think it's a symptom of something that is out of whack.
I hope this helps.

I totallly Agree. I have taken an Anger Management Course and remember hearing this stuff in class. what i usually do is try to leave the situation. i go to a different room to calm down. when i have calmed down i come back out and ask to talk calmly with the other person. If i am ok to leave the house in stead of going to another room then i do. but i learned in class to tell the other person before you leave. let them know you will be back later on after you have calmed down.
hope this helps


Anger is a natural "early warning" system that tells you that something or someone is in conflict wiht your needs, views, or beliefs. When someone or something enters into your "anger zone", the emotion of anger warns you that a possible threat exists.
With that in mind, you can learn to constructively express yourself in a positive way without blaming, non-constructive criticism, sarcasm or lecturing.
Destructive communication isn't going to get you what you want---but constructive communication may help you to better communicate what you observe, think, feel and want.
Here are some examples:
"I noticed that the light bill is overdue." (Observtion)
"You didn't balance the check book again." (Accusation)
"You need to clean this place up." (Criticism/Command)
"I'd like to get the house cleaned up this weekend." (Complaint)

As you work to express yourself about an issue, a concern or complaint, try and use the folloiwng:
Step 1: Use I talk---I hear, see, think, feel, etc, etc. instead of you talk--- you always, you never, you need to...
Step 2: Describe:
Sensory Data---What you see and hear
Thoughts---Ideas, judgements, perceptions, beliefs, opinions
Feelings---Emotions of anger, anxiety, hurt, concern
Wants---What I want to do, want from you, want for you
Action Statement----What I've done, doing now and plan on doing.

I know there's a lot of emphasis on the problem of anger---I don't think it's the problem----I think it's a symptom of something that is out of whack.
I hope this helps.
:) :) :)