I am so self-defeating...

On the one hand, I don't like being around a lot of people and I usually prefer to spend most of my time alone, but eventually I start to feel like a loser because I don't have any friends... yet it's mostly because I don't seek out friendships. Or because I apply my perfectionism to others and I think I have ****** friends so I distance myself from them and then end up with no friends at all.

Bah!

I am so self-defeating...

On the one hand, I don't like being around a lot of people and I usually prefer to spend most of my time alone, but eventually I start to feel like a loser because I don't have any friends... yet it's mostly because I don't seek out friendships. Or because I apply my perfectionism to others and I think I have ****** friends so I distance myself from them and then end up with no friends at all.

Bah!
WOW ladybug.............I can relate......I have very few friends...........mostly due to my panic and I am not willing to let myself go alot of places. But I am always down on myself for not having any really close friend when I used to have a TON of friends. I don't even know where to start to make them again. It makes me feel like I am nothing and no one cares. :eek:

I can absolutely relate too...I distance myself from any friends I do have because I'm slightly anti-social, but I become anti-social because I am upset about not having some good friends. It's a vicious cycle, isn't it? And I beat myself up over it because I also used to have a lot of friends...I feel like I've failed myself...but I guess they always say it's the quality not the quantity, so I do have that ONE friend that I can always rely on...
But keep your head up, and I'll try to do the same...you never know when a great friend may pop into your life. :)
mf2

I know what your talking about being a self destructing perfectionist....I too am digusted with a lot of ppl so I do not interact with them...I do have some good friends and can make friends at a drop of a hat...but I have found that it is best to leave those so called "friends," who take advantage of your insecurities. I am the type who would rather have a few really good friends than a lot of friends who only hang out with out because they want to use you for something.

yeah its funny , at uni i had quite a few friends, loads in fact cos i worked at the bar so met loads of people but had a few close ones. my friend tom, seriously had about 200 people he knew or call friends. but to him he wanted more for some reason. he was always unhappy and lonely! if he would have taken the time to become better friends with a few people than acquaitances with the 200 or so people he would hav been happy. so i guess what im trying to say is that having a small select group of people is what u need, some people u can relate to better than the rest.