I walked outside for the first time today, and think I was up too long, I ended up being offsides in spasms, and having uncomfortable pain radiating down right leg with numbness and weakness in calf and foot.

I am worried because my bulged disc was on the left side bulging, and now I am having right side pain.

I broke down and really cried hard today, I am not feeling sorry for myself, I just wish I had more of a life and blame the two drunk drivers who hit me and caused my whole life to be full of pain and ********.

I feel somedays that if I am going to end up in a wheel chair I want to just do it and get it over with, I am so tired of fighting excruciating pain. I will be 41 thursday and have nothing to show for all those years.

When I went offsides in spasms today I really hit bottom. It still hurts 3 lortabs later. Amazes me that's all they give me for pain pills after seeing people taking oxycontin. I am going to call my doctor tomorrow and tell him I want something more this is ridiculous, the last thing I am worried about it getting addicted to them now, I just need to have some pain relief.

Tired of being cheerful & happy. I feel like **** tonite.

please dont worry. I am also in deep **** only 27 and feel the l5 s1 bulge has given me fibromyalgia. thinking abt the days in which i was playing tennis, golf and all sports. now i am in bed and depressed all the time.

take care

Blossom, :wave:

Sorry you are in such pain, I did the overdo thing too as you remember. I totally agree you need stronger pain meds, why should you be in alot of pain when there are things that can help. We have to keep fighting though, so whatever you do, don't give up.

What do you mean by offsides in spasms?

I truly hope your pain gets better.

Hugs and prayers,

Peggy

i feel for you and agree stronger meds can help u prayers

You will be able to make it through. I just was told by the doctor that he thinks I now have a herniation on the L5/S1 level. I have already had two surgeries at L4/L5, and have a spinal cord stimulator.

I to have pain down my right leg with it going into my thigh, calf, heal and toes. Just have to keep our heads up and hope that there are brighter days ahead.

I played college basketball and softball, I am only 31, but still try to stay as active as possible even if it causes me discomfort.

Take Care,
Karie :)

I called my Ortho's nurse and gave her my PCP's phone number and told her the lortab and demerol aren't helping me, curious to see if they even bother to try. My Ortho was all happy to pass off the pain pill problem to my PCP when I left the hospital. My PCP is a wonderful doc, but I have to see him to tell him what's going on, and that isn't an option right now. I can't wait an hour in a waiting room.

Offsides means muscle spasms so bad the torso is contorted off to one side. That's how bad my muscles are tight.

I slept good last nite after two seroquel, a darvocet and a ambien & flexeril. Haven't been sleeping for 3 nites. Has to do with a closed head injury in the last accident. I can't sleep even when exhausted without a sleep pill, but lately it's gotten to where I can't sleep period.

Maybe that is contributing to my depression, all I know is I am sick and tired of being all happy and cheerful to everyone, ms. people pleaser, when I feel like crud all the time, and am in agony. Also that I have had no life all my life. Everytime I tried to make a career for myself, my back got in the way, and recently I tried to get SSD, and couldn't because I don't have enough work credits in the last 10 yrs. My hubby doesn't care that I don't work, but I do! I would like to have a life of some sort!

God says he doesn't give us more than we can handle, but if my life doesn't change for the better soon I don't know what I am going to do.

Now I suppose they will send me to the same PM that treated me like I was a druggie. He had a "superior attitude", and didn't even bother to call me back once he got my prescription list for the previous 4 months. I am so sick of this. I have been in pain for 20 years, and didn't take anything but flexeril's and darvocets occasionally until the pain got so extreme the last couple years. Then I took lortabs, that's it! They make me feel like a street corner druggie!

I love that they are willing to put you in pain with surgery, but aren't willing to prescribe! They want to pass the buck onto some other doctor, like my PCP.

I just want some pain relief, that's it, simple huh? They probably will make me feel guilty I am sure. I will post after the nurse calls back and tell all what she says. I bet anything they try to get me in to that PM again, (and I am not doing it!) I am not a druggie, when I am not in agony I don't take the pills I have.

sure enough she tried to pass me on to a PM. I called my PCP who wasn't in the office today (of course!), and told them I needed more pain relief. So the saga continues. Tomorrow if they don't do something I will fire my Ortho and find another doctor. Sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Hello, Hang in there, We can do it together I hope. I now what you mean Im almost three weeks after surgery have called dc. and he had me on lortab 7.5 told him it wouldnt stop the pain and was taking like 8 to 10 a day two at a time so he called in lortab puls 10s and still not strong anough dosnt even try to stop pain what are we to do. I also take phenegan for noushia every time a take any pain meds couse they make me sick. For night time I take tylenal PM it seems to help with the sleep a little. I have only been hurting for 3 yrs but it does seem like a lifetime. My mom rides me all the time about getting adicted to the meds but I dont care if I do just so I quite hurting. I hope ur depression gets better mine come and goes some days I lay aroud crying and just want to give up but I try to remeber thires always someone out there worse than me. So take care and God bless. :angel:

Thanks for everyone's support, I appreciate it.

I am on 150 mg zoloft a day, cannot imagine how depressed I would be without it.....

Rebel, you know they wouldn't let an animal suffer yet they treat us like crap? Where's the humanity in all of it? I think doctors forgot their hippocratic oath, and instead are pledging their allegiance to the almighty dollar...bow to the money, bow to the money, forget those pain junkies, bow to the money.

I am seriously considering firing my Ortho and not going to my post-op apt. I am so pissed off. I think being in pain and spasms is detrimental to healing ..........I think a person would heal more rapidly when not in excruciating pain.

I remember in the hospital they yanked me off I.V. demerol the second morning after surgery.......and how I went from sitting halfway up in bed and being comfortable and able to sleep to crying and spazing in pain and laying flat instead of inclined. Yeppers, those docs really care about our pain level! :o

Blossom :wave: I am so sorry that you are having such pain. I do hope that you can get some kind of meds that will help you to get relief. When I first got hurt I was taking ultraset, they never worked now I am on Loratab after surgery and they do help the pain but I wonder if they will soon not work. I did have 1 good day in 6 weeks that I woke up no pain , feeling great , so awesome, the way it was 14 months ago before I got hurt, but nothing to pinpoint why I felt that away for a day,,, and it was so great. :bouncing: :bouncing: Keep us informed as to how you are doing.. someone is usually here. :wave: Leaf

Can you get in to see a physiatrist? They do rehab and meds.
fly

I live an hour away from counseling, already checked into it months ago.

If I wasn't in so much pain I wouldn't be so depressed. Just can't believe these doctors gaff off patients so easily after they have done the surgery and caused the pain. Like passing the buck.

My PCP is a great guy, am hoping he will come through for me with more lortab or something stronger, he will be back in the office tomorrow, so will know then. I can't go to PM for my meds, that isn't an option, it's an hours drive also. I wouldn't anyway, not after the way that PM doctor talked to me like I was a piece of crap.

I have to stay on pain pills with my T7-8 herniation laying on my spinal cord. It's either that or surgery, and surgery isn't an option in my mind. I can't imagine the horrific pain that would be in the thoracic area, hurt to breathe, etc... My hubby doesn't want me to have the thoracic surgery either.

I am a strong person, I am just tired of doctor's b.s. in regards to not wanting to prescribe pain medicine, it's ridiculous.

I will get through this and do my best, but right now I am soooooooooo mad at my doctor. All I have done last two days is cry because of pain and lack of relief from lortabs.

when I got into my room immed. after surgery the first thing I saw was a piece of paper on the wall across from my bed that said "we are here to provide pain relief, if you feel you are not being taken care of properly, please contact your nurse or doctor". What b.s. is that???

Blossom
Sorry you are having a bad time of it, remember this too will pass. I also agree you should have better pain meds. Make sure you call your doctor tomorrow and just insist, cry what ever it takes for someone to help you. Try not to overdue it.
take care,
Thinking of you in pgh

:wave: Hi Blossom, I'm so sorry that you are having such a rough time, I wish that I could help you. I know that being in so much pain is depressing, and you feel like you can not go on any longer, but know that you have friends here that care and are praying for you. God bless you. Valley :angel:

:eek: Valley, thanks so much, I don't know what I would do without this board! Really! This board is my life-line right now, keeping me from losing my marbles.

Blossom, A physiatrist is Physical Medicine and Rehab. If you can find one.... Also, my OSS has a spine fellowship and he is also listed under cardio-thoracic. Check out spine.org.

fly, are you talking about PT?

Among other things a physiatrist rehabs stroke patients. He is an MD.
fly

Blossom,
I am sd sorry you're having such a hard time. I certainly understand how you feel, you just want even 10 minutes of absolutely NO PAIN! It was a good suggestion to try a physiatrist, if you are at a point where you can do PT. But be sure to take pain meds prior to doing any therapy. Remember, we are all here for you, and prayerfully things will get better for us all.

God be with you and keep you :angel: :angel:
Myrna

Better, thanks for the support. :wave: Guess I just am getting depressed laying around doing nothing. Waiting on PT until the 20th when I go back for my first post-op. I am sure he will tell me what I can do then. You are right about 10 min of pain free, I wish, I wish!

Blossom....sorry to hear what you are going through. Doctors these days only care about cash and vacations....so much for the patients that put the cash in their pockets and get them on that plane to their fantasy get away, right? I'm also in a lot of pain and can't seem to get anyone to believe me...all I hear is that the lortab (hydrocodone) is all I can be prescibed! That's absolute BS and they know it! First off...anyone who has had surgery...or an MRI that shows DDD....Stynosis...or any kind of Bulge or tear...is not faking pain. And secondly...when someone is on Hydrocodone for so long...their body builds up resistance to it and thats why it doesn't seem to work for us anymore. There are true junkies out there that get perscribed OXY's and we can't even get that can we? UUUUGGGGHHHH I feel your pain girl...believe me I do. I am so sorry for you though...at least I can work and bite the bullet most days with my pain. I ran out of meds on Monday and have been trying to get a return call for a refill for 4 days now! Unbelieveable what we go through....it really is. I'm in tears right now typing this I'm so upset for you...for us all! Why do we have to go through this sh** all the time? It isn't fair. I feel like moving to Canada where this wouldnt' be an issue! Take care girl and let us know what your PCP says when he gets back in the office. All I know is that I'm not going to be little miss sit back and take what they give anymore...I'm letting them hear me roar from now on....I refuse to be in pain any longer! God Bless you!
Diva :yawn: :rolleyes: :wave:

Diva, :wave: when I talked to my Ortho's nurse yesterday she said "aren't you getting pain meds from your PCP?" I said yes, but I wanted to call you and let you know what kind of pain and spasms I am still having. :nono: She said "well you don't want to be getting pain pills from several different doctors". Give me a break! I am a grown woman, don't they think I have enuf sense than to try to do that? Why would I have called to let them know if I was doing just that?

Oh yeah, and she said well you need pain pills until 6-8 post-op. What kind of B.S. is that? How about 5 months post-op? And what about my T7-8 herniation? I didn't say that but wish I had. They want me to go to a PM, but I refuse! I am an intelligent hard working woman when I am able, I am not going to go to a PM and have them treat me like a common street junkie, that's how they treat us chronic pain people here in Bama'. :rolleyes:

I may have been born at nite, but it wasn't last nite! :jester: And on that note it's my 41st b-day today. My hubby gave me my loot last nite, which included a mega-sized box of truffles, gosh I love that man! hehe

Hugs to you girl, and all you who are going thru the same **** as me. I think it's time we up and revolted and stand up for ourselves! These doctors aren't Gods! Give me a break! They are no better than you or me! :bouncing: :bouncing: :bouncing:

I refuse to let them treat me like **** anymore. I am an Aries, fire sign, and I have decided I am going to let some of that fire rain down next time they talk to me like a you know what!

Love ya's Blossom

You go girl...thats what I like to hear! I finally got a call back from my doc's office and they are finally calling in my refill...THANK GOD! I thought I was literally going to die today if I didn't get some relief. I'm at work but can hardly concentrate due to the fact that lightening bolts are going down my left lef and spasms are constantly running through my lower back. So PRAISE THE LORD for that call that just came in!!! Anyway...I really hope that you get some relief soon...and YES...USE YOUR VOICE AND DON'T BACK DOWN....you deserve the best treatment out there! Don't stop until you get what you want.....if you don't speak up for yourself....no one will! Take care...and HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL!!! Wow...I hope your husband treats you like a queen all day long....because you are a queen! Don't forget it either! I'm always here if you need to talk.....hugs and luv..... :wave:

:wave: Diva, so glad you got your pills! Halleluja! I called my pharmacy this evening, I still haven't gotten my pills, so will call my PCP again tomorrow (his secretary) and hack on her! Darnit, I just had surgery 5 weeks ago, if I am not getting pain relief is it not their doctorly duty to get me out of pain? I am so tired of having to fight them, I told my hubby that I may just go ahead after I heal from this and get the T7-8 done, I don't want to be begging for pain pills the rest of my life.............I am soooooooooooo tired of it!

Hugs to you gf, I am glad I inspired you :D

btw, I am here for ya'll too :bouncing: :bouncing: :bouncing: (as they say here in the south) anytime you need me!

Hey girlfriend...I didn't have a happy ending yesterday like I thought I was going to have. I went to the Pharmacy and the %$#@!$$% didn't call it in like she said. Why the hell do they call and tell us that its been called it when it hasn't? I was so upset I just cried right there in the pharmacy! It was awful and I was a mess...truly! It is supposedly getting worked out at the moment and will be ready for me at the end of the day....but still is ridiculous all the same! Have you heard anything as of yet this morning with your PCP? I wish you nothing but luck with getting your pills before the weekend is over with. I'm glad I met you and please ask me anything at anytime...I am surly in your circle of friends now! Call on me at anytime! :wave:

Hey gurl! :wave: Nope haven't called yet. Gosh so sorry you haven't gotten your pills, that isn't right. Kind of po'ed about it, just got up, waiting till after lunch to muster my strength to call them. GRRRRR like we aren't in enough pain, and sap what remaining strength we have to call, and call, and cry. I am trying to gird myself and not let them melt me down to a crying, quivering mass of $#%%. Get strong and lets call all business like.

I get the feeling if we cry then they look at us like we are druggies. I am going to talk to them like I know my bidness *sigh*. Why does everything have to be so difficult? Jeez seems to me we go through enough just being us every single day.......

Would wish this on my worst enemy :P~

Glad I met you too gf, and don't give up. Call and tell them you are in pain, and need something to relieve pain. Good luck! *hugs*

I will let you know what my PCP's medical secretary has to say for herself. :rolleyes:

That's right girl....you tell 'em! I am so glad that today is Friday...you have no idea. There is 3 more hours left in the work day and believe me I wish I could think of some sort of excuse to jet out of here early. The weekend has been calling my name since Monday!!! :D
I hope you get your answers on the phone shortly....have a great weekend. I'll look on here for you this weekend and maybe chat some more then~

I called them and my PCP said no even though my Ortho said 2-7.5mg lortabs every 4 hours is fine, although my Ortho doesn't want to manage my pain. I am very pissed and crying right now and to top it off having sharp pains where my stomach meets my esophagus. I have gastritis and am on prescription meds for it. I just ate and then had these sharp pains, hope nothing serious is wrong. My hubby is home so he can take me to the ER if need be.

I am so upset, I cannot believe they won't help me with pain for a couple weeks. The spasms are like lightning. My PCP has always been very kind and helped me, I feel like he has bailed on me. I may have to go to PM and sign my life away after all. I am so depressed right now. I have taken one lousy 10mg lortab today, that's it.

Sweetheart...that is ridiculous! I am so sorry that you are going through this. You need to have your hubby take you to the ER and be real with them. Tell them that you are there because of your pain...be very direct and to the point....tell them all about your problems with your PM....that your PCP refuses to get involoved and you want to know who is going to take care of YOU!!!!!?????? I'm serious....they will not send you away at the ER...you also can get whats happening to you right now checked out sweetie. I am so upset for you right now....I just want to scream out to those *******s! How unfair and unethical can these Doctors be? UNREAL!!! Please go and seek help whichever way necessary.....please write and let me know what you are going to do. :angel:

I don't get it, I really don't. I have been in chronic pain 20 yrs because of drunk drivers who almost killed me both times, I didn't sue anyone, settled with insurance companys for next to nothing, even tho my late husband was killed. I took darvocets like one prescription every two years until 2 yrs ago when my back really slid downhill. My PCP knows all this and helped manage my pain until NOW after surgery when I need help more than ever? Someone please explain this to me!

My hubby called and talked to the same nasty medical secretary I did, and she said "oh her, I have already told her no", and my hubby proceeded to request that my doctor call him, and he hasn't and probably won't. I told him don't hold your breath! She said the PCP is going on vacation monday. People listen to my hubby, he is military and is not a person you don't listen to!!

I may go to the ER yet, I was having sharp stomach pains going up into my chest. (that started before the phone conversation, so it's not from being upset). It seemed to calm down some, so am waiting. God a bad headache too. Drinking a beer and laying down to relax. I still haven't had but one flexeril and one 10mg lortab today.

I told my husband they wouldn't mistreat an animal this bad.

I hope Diva that you are doing ok, and am glad it's the end of the work week for you. Did you ever call your doc to find out what happened?

*hugs* blossom

Wow....I hope that he calls and your husband pounds some sense into him! What a load of crap! I am so sorry for what you are going through. Please don't heistate to go to the ER if it is necessary....I know your husband wouldn't mind taking you, right? All my pills are called in and I just got off the phone verifiying this with the pharmacy so I should be all set for the weekend. Lets pray! Well I have 30 minutes to go until the Fred Flinstone Whistle Blows!!! :D
I really hope that you feel better and that beer relaxes you! Check in throughout the weekend so I know that you are okay...promise? take care :wave:

Blossom,

I don't know your story, but I do somewhat understand your pain at being nearly killed by drunk drivers and your husband killed and how it relates to your back, physically and mentally. I was nearly murdered as a child and the guy kicked me repeatedly, hurting my spine. I know the anger well. It causes more pain. You have two issues to work: the physical and the mental. Most of all, the spiritual. I can attest that I hated and wanted him dead, and it just about killed me feeling those feelings. I think our bodies cry out to us to work through issues, but at the same time, we have physical damage issues. I think it just exacerbates things.

I buried it all with full amnesia for 26 years, and it wasn't til I remembered and FELT again that I began to heal. But now I've got full blown post traumatic stress disorder symptoms (flashbacks, body pains, night terrors, fears up the gazoo...now that the memories have come back) so I don't know what to tell you other than you have to somehow work through spirit to heal the spirit damage as well.

I don't understand why a surgeon would you leave you without pain meds only 5 weeks after back surgery. Mine has no qualms at all still giving me percocet 10 months post op and when I complained I still needed painkiller 3 mons post op, he said it was normal to still need it then. I asked why and he said back surgeries can result in prolonged pain.

I am not clear on who is giving you pain meds, but I do know your surgeon sure would want you to have them. Call his office and let them know what's going on?

I work with the guy who did my surgery, no one else. You've got a mess on your hands. I would call the surgeon. If not that, then the ER. This is just crazy.

Lady, I suffer from PTST also, the only thing that helps me is my faith and the love of my wonderful hubby who accepts me with all my faults, physical and other wise. I cry alot and then am okay for awhile, but have anxiety attacks and horrible nightmares (I was concious during all of accident that killed my late husband). The car rolled end over end 5 times, then went across interstate median and hit a suburban with a family in it, killing not only my husband, but a little girl in the suburban and her dad had a severe head injury, he was lucky to have survived. I had a torn rotator cuff, a smashed nose, and it exacerbated my back problems. I had surgery for my nose and back, and face healed fine, just spirit and back still hurting.

My life has been hell, literally, but I am still good natured and smile and laugh alot. I know God loves me and wants me here for some reason yet unknown to me, or I would have died in that wreck. I am just confused right now, I told my hubby I would have NEVER had this stupid fusion if I had known my doctors wouldn't manage my pain.

I reckon I need to get a new primary care physician now. This is impossible at the moment because I cannot sit longer than about a half hour or so. I live in a small town and would have to drive to Birmingham to get a new one, which is about an hour away.

My Ortho gaffed off my pain management to my PCP, and I told him that was fine, I though that my PCP would handle it, he always has. He gave me 3-10mg lortab a day, and 3-10mg flexerils a day, that's it. All I requested was a little "something extra" to help me on bad days and he said no. I have a feeling that medical secretary didn't tell him that my husband wanted a call back. I don't understand that, my PCP is a good christian man who has sympathized with me every office visit, and I have known him for almost 3 yrs.

Diva, I am so glad you got your meds, thank you God! I am going to call my Ortho monday and tell him this is not acceptable, and they had better take care of my pain situation or I may contact my attorney, I cannot struggle with this pain and try to heal, it's absurd.

Anyway, hugs to all, and love, Blossom

The drunk driver hit us from behind doing 90mph, and all he got was a concussion. He was sentenced to 22 yrs in prison, and when he comes up for parole, in about 7 yrs, they will notify me so I can send a letter telling why I don't want him paroled. And when he is paroled he will be deported back to Mexico from Colorado, although I am sure he will cross the border again, all his family is in Colorado.

Reason my late husband died and I was partially ejected is that the shoulder belt didn't restrain either of us, so I hit my head on dash, and the air bags didn't deploy because the sensors on front of bumper weren't damaged (in fact the sensors were the only part of the car that wasn't smushed. Chevy is liable for this, because of the shoulder seat belt failing, (a new chevy lumina). I decided not to sue them because it's hard to prove, and I am not that kind of person. Also caps on how much you can sue for in Colorado would have prevented me from getting very much, maybe $50k after lawyers bills.

So my advice to all is to carry the maximum on your insurance you can, it may be all you get if you end up in a car wreck.