...in the elderly? Is the likelihood of getting it as common as not? Or is it rare?

I've been following these poignant and wonderful/terrible stories (from Martha, Barbara and Bosmom and others) and wonder what each of us should expect for ourselves and our family members as far as likelihood of experiencing Alzheimer's and other age-related conditions.

Maybe because I never had much experience with the elderly, I am aghast, well, not to be overdramatic I'll just say "surprised" at the unwelcome physical and mental changes that have happened to me by age 53. (things like aching joints and tiredness, forgetfulness -- LOVE going into another room and forgetting why :confused:, constant dismaying losses of physical attractiveness, I could go on but let's skip it :yawn: ) anyhow I would like to feel better prepared for what to expect in old age than I did for middle age.

I guess physical problems are a lot more common than mental in our 60s-80s and beyond? Things like can't walk, can't hear, can't taste because apparently our sense of smell or maybe our taste buds change...are those such terrible losses pretty routine for all of us? Why do so many old people seem to end up with walkers and canes? Is that pretty universal? I know our hips wear out and sometimes need replacing, how common is that? Dumb questions I guess...

Call it my way of trying to impose order or control on the tragic process of aging (that's how I see it anyway)...wish I could rate "likelihood of this happening" to each of the possibilities/probabilities so I could have a realistic picture. Does anyone know of websites or books which are very informed and honest on the broader picture of aging?

Thanks for any info to all.

Dear Seekalot,

If you find any such book I'd like to know about it to. Until a couple of years ago I had the wonderful role model of my Mom to keep me from fearing old age.

At 90 she swam 3 times a week, led an exercise class at her senior center, drove to church once a week, and very seldom on a longer drive, but keeping the car helped her to feel independent, had most of ther own teeth (still does), failing vision but still able to read large print books and magazines. was cheerful, energetic, loved to travel, had no arthritis or aches or pains, no back pain. Had high blod pressure under control with medications. No memory loss or odd thinking. Kept her apartment and herself clean and neat.

Now it is 5 years later and you know from my numerous postings what she is like now.

I hope I live a wonderful long life as she did until about 90 ... and then GO!

Love,

Martha

The best answer a geriatrician gave me recently was:

If you remember you've forgotton, that's GOOD!!

It's when you've forgotton you've forgotten or how to forget you should panic LOL

Hugs
Sally

The other manifestations of aging are nothing, compared to this. Sure, we get wrinkles, but are still beautiful with the inner light of joy and goodness shining out of our dimmer eyes. Grey hair or, better yet, white hair, can be very attractive, and after putting some 'dark blonde' into my hair I really don't think I look any better. I liked my 3/4 grey look, and am looking forward to it being all shiny white like my Mom's.

We can do a lot to stay physically fit, watch our weight (I excuse myself right now because I am in such a stressful situation, but LATER....) and get exercise. I do that .. I walk about 20 city blocks a day between bus and subway stops and my school .. I do back exercises on the floor and almost every school day do exercises with the kids ...

Eat healthy foods or at least take a minimal supplement, get your eyes checked, keep teeth in good repair, otherwise I stay away from doctors outside of yearly check ups and emergencies ... try to avoid stress (Ha ha!) and love a lot. Love your parents and kids and grandchildren ,if you don't have a significant other, as I don't .. love your friends, love your church. Love people you work with like my little class of 3 and 4 year olds ...

Keep expecting good to come out of every situation, in the end. Do small acts of caring and helping for others, especially strangers ..that brightens up your day. As we get older out eyes get weaker, and we are no longer shocked by the mirror ..our ears get weaker and we no longer hear all the bad things going on ... it is not so bad.
I can say that until my Mom's condition got so challenging I was a VERY happy mid 60 lady ... I even had to stop going to a cafe for coffee in between my 2 bus rides to school because a (married) man I used to see there almost every day told me he was in love with me last June ... and being too cowardly to say 'back off, that's not what I am looking for" I avoided him ...now have coffee at a different place ..but I have to admit I miss the flattery ..

Life begins at 60, not 40 ..that was a book ages ago ; and I think after this move a very interesting and exciting life is coming my way ...

Love,

Martha

26 years for me to go ............. WAITING WITH ANTICIPATION ............

Hugs
heheheheheh

Sally

Martha, you mentioned if I found a book on the broader picture of aging, what to expect, etc., you'd like to hear about it...maybe this one will interest you. It is called ""How to Say It to Seniors: Closing the Communications Gap with our Elders."

It does not directly address the "extra layer" of difficulty in communication of Alzheimer's confusion and inability to think normally, etc., but I thought it was a very illuminating description of the "agenda" that all of us will face as old people. It helped me see what the future might bring and all the reviews on the major online bookseller (guess I can't say its name?) were extremely positive.

One reviewer there said, "a remarkable book (for those) attempting to handle the difficulties, frustrations, and guilt they feel as they try to achieve effective communication with their elders. Such attempts often fail because of the different agendas held by the middle-aged and the elderly. Mr Solie has unearthed two principal motives in elderly people's verbal and non-verbal behavior - to maintain control over their lives, and to discover their legacy, or how they will be remembered."

It has a lot of personal anecdotes and is very practical and down-to-earth. Lots of specific suggestions for having conversations on touchy subjects.

Thanks Martha and Sally for your responses above -- it is wonderful to hear there is much to look forward to...and thank you both and Bosmom Barb and others here for sharing your experiences so openly so we can all learn with you. I really appreciate it and look forward to hearing soon that you have all gotten through these difficult times and moved on to new peace... :wave:

I'm definitely going to buy this book! THANKS!

I am already moving into that phase nyself .. how am I going to be remembered .. and how can I maintain my independence. Now I still go out to work every day, and am right out there in the middle of life. BUT, I also fear that the time is coming when my eyesight too might fail, I might not be able to drive ... one of my motivations for finding an apartment within walking distance of shops, library and post office and churches ... and how do I learn early enough to do things without help .. not ever wanting to be a huge burden on my family (as my Mom sadly is - and knows it - on hers.)

Kids are also a 24 hour a day job, but then we take it upon ourselves willingly, knowing it will be just a few short years and they will be all grown up, independent and most likely TOO far away from us ...

In the cae of aging parents we know that the only outcome is separation by death, sooner or later.

I absolutely will get the book, I know where to look!

Love

Martha