i posted here a little while ago, but the story has thickened...
i have NO idea what to do, and i don't see my counsellor until thursday.

i met a girl on the internet, and we became very close very quickly. we talked on the phone soon afterwards, and fell in love? i guess as much as you can with someone over the phone, with pictures, etc.

the night before she is scheduled to arrive to visit me, her dad dies. her mom had died 10 months earlier, and she went into complete panic mode. i wanted to help, but i'm the middle of work, school, etc... so i give up everything that isn't mandatory in my life to spend the time talking to her, and helping her cope over the phone.

she flies to australia for the funeral, (her mom was buried in australia, so in the will her father had requested to be beside her) ... and finds out she gets custody of her 11 year old sister. they're staying with their grandparents, and her grandparents get in a sudden car accident and also die.

with a lot of baggage, (mentally, of course) they fly back to new york (where they had been living) and plan to grieve and settle some lawyer things there. then i told her that her and her sister could come and live with me, and we would start our news lives together.

the morning when they were scheduled to arrive on the plane, her sister gets apendicitis (from the stress) and has to get an operation. i'm completely stressed at this point. (i have really bad anxiety as it is, and i keep giving up so much for this girl) she gets better and they book another flight.

they were supposed to arrive one week ago, but then her sister (11 year old) ends up going into a series of huge panic attacks, and they don't come. her older sister (who is 27) flies out to be with them and help them get better. i offered to fly out and be with THEM since obviously them coming here is just not happening, but they won't let me. the older sister says it's not fair for someone else to come out during such bad times.

i'm trying to continue being a support on the phone, and this girl and i talked about getting married this summer...

but what am i supposed to do?!?

i have BAD anxiety... and this plus a few other things were on my plate and i ended up having really bad anxiety attacks last weekend, and i was in the hospital saturday night...

then i got a note from my doctor to be on sick leave for a week...

but i'm supposed to start work again tomorrow...

i want to continue to be a support for her...

but i can barely help myself...

i'm about to snap.

if i miss another week of work, i won't be able to make rent...

i want to feel good... but i always get this huge guilt if i can't make other people happy... especially someone who loves me so much...

i'll just post this now, but there's so much more...

Actually, I think you have gone overboard to help a stranger.. Thnk about yourself for a minute and deal with your problems, because getting involved with a person with so much going on might not be a good idea, if I were you i would NOt let them move in with you,, have you thought about what if this girl is only using you? I mean there are alot of nuts online and you never know what she is after.. becareful and take things slow, because you might end up worst in thend, good luck

remember if things are out of control now, with you almost losin your job over a stranger.. imagien how hard it will be when you have to support 2 people that you dont even know, I woudl say break this up an dlet her go your way, dont focus so much on helping people while screwing yourself, like I said you never knwo what she is really after.

you're right...

i always let my emotions and my anxiety conquer over any type of logic.

she's going to be so upset, but i'm doing the right thing...

Yes hun, get rid of this situation as soon as possible think about yourself, let me know what happens

thanks so much :)

you sound like my sister... it's so nice having extra opinions :)

Jeffriesmom -

i JUST saw your reply, now! Sorry... I'm not sure how long ago you posted...

and YES - i've had my doubts... but i felt guilty about doubting some things that are SO horrible, you know??

i've decided to get on with my life, and be there for her when she calls...

i told her this yesterday - but she just kept saying that she's going to run away, and no one will ever love me as much as she did... it sort of trapped me. and my only choice is to keep living MY life, (as selfish as it sounds).

this anxiety HAS to stop, that's all i know :)

thank you so much for your reply. With a clear head today, i am going to work, and i'm going to take everything else a step at a time...

I have a doctor's appointment Monday, too.

Hey Equivocated,
Slow down.... read what you have posted. If someone told you this story, would the facts ring true to you? There are some things here that don't quite sound right. The first thing that signals an "alert" to me is someone developing appendicitis from stress.

I am leaning toward agreeing with jennyVee's advice, although I know how hard it would be to walk away from love as you see it. Love, in the beginning stages definitely can blind you. And I think you may be blinded to some things that are not making sense.

You cannot be of help to someone else if you yourself are not well. Get yourself well and you'll be able to be supportive. In the meantime, think about cutting down on the phone calls (save your money for rent) and stick to emails. This may be the perfect time to ease out of an unhealthy relationship. If you are prone to extreme anxiety, being in a situation of continual situations of stress seems to not be in your best interest.

I wish the best for you! I hope you're feeling okay today. Relax, think back over all that has happened. Think about things logically and see if they make sense to you.
~zeez

Yes Zeez, something doesnt sound quite right... I mean if I were him I wouldnt belive all these stories, who knows what she is after, If I were him I would definately get out of this ASAP, I mean this relationship can only bring much more stress on your life.. that you dont need, dont feel guilty, you cannot be responsible for what happens in other peoples life, Take care and hope you make the best decision.

thank you SO much to everyone!!

i am going into work today - and i talked to my boss and i HAVEN'T lost my job... which is good.

i haven't called her since yesterday afternoon, and as AWFUL as i feel about it, i, MYSELF, feel a million times better. (and i had a free plan to call the US anyway... so luckily that didn't cost me money)...

i know that i'm not "better", but i've never been "better" in my life. So i'm trying to make some steps to make that happen this time around.

this support seriously saved me.

thank you SO much to everyone :)