Hi, This is my first time to post here but I am totally at a loss and in terrible worry for my son.
He is three and a half and has a terrible fear of having a BM. He with holds all the time. I took him to the ped. He told me to do a total clean out and then laxatives for however long it takes to get him back into it. well wehave done this and he with holds the laxitive. Its so horrible to see him suffering in this pain. We have an appt with a specialist on the 22nd of this month and it seems like forever till it gets here. has anyone else had this expierience?

My youngest daughter also went through the same thing. She wouldn't go, so it got dry and hard, then when she finally did have to go it hurt, so next time she didn't want to go.

We focused on high fiber foods and lots of liquids - raisins, cereal, corn and other veggies (she loved green peas still frozen and would eat them as a snack). I make a lot of my own bread and would add a tablespoon of wheat germ to each cup of flour for just a little extra.

This does pass, but it is a challenge. Hang in there and give him lots of water.

Lisa

Hello,
I had the same experience with my oldest daughter when she was three. Do you know if he fears the actual act of going or of the potty? I found out much later that my daughter was actually afraid of the "splash". We let her go on a little potty without water until she was older. We also explained to her in detail why her tummy hurt. We said that the "poopoo" needs to get out of your tummy to make room for your food. If you keep eating without going potty, it gets too crowded and hurts. I think that this helped her to understand that it wasn't the act of going #2 that hurt, but the holding it too long. I wish you the best of luck! I know it can be very frustrating.
Deena

[This message has been edited by moderator1 (edited 01-10-2001).]

Hi and thank you all. I truthfully think he is not wanting to have a bm because he for one doesn't like the smell and two because he knows we want him to. I gave him a suppository the other day and he did it on the toilet. I hate using them for fear of dependency. Today he went on his own (in his diaper of course) But at least he went. I did not make a big deal outta it I just said boy your tummy will feel so much better now. I think I need to stop the presure and let him do it himself forever how long it may take. Thanks for helping
Sue

Hi There. My son is 4 and has been holding his BM in for over 2 years. Iam very relieved to find this site as I feel very isolated about this even though he attends the hospital once a month and is not getting any better. He is on Lactulose.picosulphate and senna on and off. I have him at the homeopathic doc too and she has given him Graphite, Borax and Bachs rescue remedy. Nothing came of any of these. I have been waiting a year for a child psycologist and I am stuck as no-one seems to want to help me. He can go to school this year but cant as he is still in nappies. I have even taken him to see a Hypno-psycotherapist. I have only been once and she is really keen to try with him. We are so upset with all of this as you all know as it is so upsetting when they have sore tummies etc. We at times have to pull his feaces from his bot if it gets stuck. We have three other kids and none of them have this. I have tried most things but he has such control over this it is over- whelming. Anyone out there that can advise me, I would be very grateful.

Hi Val, Yes I do know what you are going through and we have tried different stool softners and nothing helped his power was unbelievable. It was consuming us too. It got to the point where we never said poop in the house. i figured if we didn't presure him it would be okay. He would go 7 and 8 days and be in total misery. He would smudge so many diapers a day and smelled terrible as did my house. Finally I took him to another Pediatrician because the one I had didn't take it seriously enough to suit me.
The new doc suggested a pediatric Gastrointeroligist.It took a month to get in but we went to her last week. I felt so good when I left her office I was on cloud 9. She told me they see this all the time and that there are three times in a childs life when they see constipation and one is when they come off the breat to formula and then when they come off formula to milk and foods and then when its is time for potty training. I was so sure it was my sons stuborn personality but I thought it best to get the correct guidence. I was so afraid to give him suppositories and enemas because I thought that would harm him.
It turns out that his bowel was so stretched from the large stool that there was a part that bowel was stuck in off to the side and soft stool was coming around it and thats why he was smudging and when he had a bm even with a suppository and enema it didn't seem very large. now I know wht it was stuck.
Well I will tell you what she told me. She said treatment is very agressive and first we must clean all that stool out and shrink the bowel. She gave me a perscription Powder
to put a cap in his juice in the morning for three days (this cleans the upper intestin),
Day one / Powder in am, then I gave him a four out mineral oil enema(they sell these in parmacys) They don't make you go they just obsorb into the bowel to soften everything.She said if he didn't pass it then in 4 hrs give him half a pediatric enema.
He only passed a small amount so I gave him the peds enema. He got it out good that time and I am sure it was the hard stuff cause it was very dry.
second day/ powder in juice... No poop
third day/ powder in juice.... three Big poops very soft.
4th day/ start one tablespoon mineral oil twice a day and 1/2 teaspoon senocot at bedtime. She told me if he doesn't poop within three days to give him half peds enema but never let it go more then that. We want his intestine to shrink to normal size.
So we are on day six of treatment and tonight he has made several toots.so I am hoping we get some poop tomorow and that he does it without the enema.
It helped going to the Gasto because she talked to him about the big poop ball that needs to come out of his tummy and he responded well to her.
I think you need to consider going to a specialist for him as well as you. She told me he is fine and will be fine after treatment. Patience is essential during this time because stress will make him worse. He needs to know you understand that he is having trouble with this and you want to make it easier for him.
Its not nessesarily stubornness there may be a problem or he just may be fearful of the potty itself. I totally backed off training.
The third day of treatment he told me he was a big boy and didn't want a diaper. OKAY I said and needless to say he went all day going to the potty till he had a BM in his undies(boy was that a mess). I suggested he wear his pull up till we get use to pooping on the potty. He seem to be much easier to reason with since we went to the doc and since he got that pain outta his tummy. He was like living with the tazmanian devel before. He was so miserable and so were we.
I think this battle will take a long time to get through and treatment takes a while but we positively have to rule out anything else first and work along side a dos for support also. We go back in a month. I hope this may help you. I was so desperate I though I would die. I would see him suffer trying to go and it about killed me. I thought he was holding but I think it was so painful with that in there that he had to. I will keep you up on how he does threw treatment if you like. I know its nice to have someone who understands this to talk to.
My email is srosier128@earthlink.net
Good luck
Sue

Hello!!! I do not know the extremes of all situations but there is a name for this. It is called encopresis and I listed it under new topics yesterday but am so relieved to find this here. There were other postings on the "old healthboards" (alot of them)but I've seen none of those here. Please go to new topics and click encopresis so we can support and help each other!!

Hi Susan

Thankyou very much for taking all that time to write...your kid sounds just like mine its amazing. I do not know what mineral oil is,over here i have asked and they turn thier nose up at me. Does it have any other name on it? I will e-mail you as well if you dont mind. I had my son to a child psycologist today and my son was very unco-operative, typical! She was great though. I would also like to say that the comment about encopresis is right. I found this last night on the net and what a revilation it was.

If you all type in encopresis in your search engine you will be amazed at what you find out. What our kids have actually.

Good luck everyone.

Val.