Hi,

I am Allure, 30, french speaking, from Montreal. I suffer from depersonalization ( I don't feel like myself) and derealization since 2 years, exactly since my delivery... I had a cesarean, and when they gave me anesthesia, I had trouble to breathe, so I thought I was having a lack of oxygen to the brain. But my oxygen levels were Ok. I had a oxygen mask because I was really in panic, and they gave me Versed to calm me. Since I exit the hospital, I felt strange, like people and surrounding were not exactly familiar to me. I saw like in 2-D, and felt like if I was drugged. I felt not part of the world, and it frigtened me. I must say that I didn't sleep in 4 days at the hospital, because of breast-feeding who didn't work.

It's been 2 years since I have this problem, I saw many doctors here, psychiatrists, psychologists..... and I am desesperate. Very depressed. I can't work because of that, I have memory problems, I feel confusion (memory disturbances) each time I change from a place to another, I feel time lapses, it's horrible.

My diagnoses went from panic attacks, depression, anxiety, hyperventilation, to depersonalization disorder, and maybe now, temporal lobe epilepsy.

I am at the end of my rope. I tried many SSRI's and all benzos, and it never helped really. I can't thought side effects too. The more I thoughed is 3 months (Paxil). I am currenty on Klonopin 0,5 mg since 2 years, sometimes 1 mg, but it just gives me more confusion. The only thing that stop derealization 95 % is sleep pill, but after it makes me more depressed, and dp come back.

I am afraid of meds like hell, I have read a lot about all that, I know very much about all kinds of meds. I may try Lamictal, but the first time I tried it I throwed up. :confused:

Any intelligent advice would be appreciated.

From a mommy who had enough pain. :(

Allure :confused:

Dear Allure,

I am so sorry for your pain. That must be very difficult for you, esp. as a mom. I am a mommy, too, of several little ones, and just coping with anxiety is a struggle. I am afraid I don't have any advice for you as far as your condition, but I just wanted to say I hope someone posts with some good news for you and you are in my prayers. Marirose

ps - Have you discussed this with the OB/GYN who helped you with delivery of your child?

Hi,

I have everything you have mentiond and also at the end of my teather, is is scairing me so much, the docs just say rest but i dont feel like i can relax, i just wanted to let you no you are not alone

mandy xxx

thanks

Thanks!!

More and more posts please !:)



Allure :rolleyes:

I so feel for you! I have dealt with the same thing for about 5 years now, starting after a panic attack that came out of the blue. It has affected my professional life also, as like you, I have a problem with memory and concentration. I recently tried changing jobs - same career, just different company, and found it just didn't work for me. I can only be there on a limited basis now and went back to the company that I know inside and out. I felt like a failure, and this was in a position I hold a very technical degree for. Certainly causes some self-esteem issues. You can know you are NOT alone.

I wish I had medication answers for you, I don't... but I can tell you some things I do to 'cope'. I often have vertigo along with the depersonalization and derealization. I hate, hate, hate what we go through!

- I often focus on one particular body part (tip of my nose, my pinkie toe or big toe, a thumb, whatever) to get myself back to me somewhat.

- A small pinch on the inside of my arm or earlobe will sometimes help me focus my mind on my body and just 'being there'.

- The deep breathing they teach for anxiety often will help to calm me, even if it doesn't outright make me feel 'real' again.

- Sometimes I close my eyes, lightly touch my eyelids, then focus on the 'floaters' I see in front of my eyelids. This works to help me fall asleep too.

- I'll often think of how my body systems work, imagining the blood flowing through my arteries, releasing oxygen to my organs then circulating back through veins into the lungs then back to start the process over again in the heart. Also, I think air as I breathe, paying attention to the cool feel as it enters my nostrils, feel my lungs expand, imagine the aveolar sacs as they fill, then deflate, and feel the warm air expelled.

- I carry cinnamon tic-tacs or something else that's bold flavored to put on my tongue just to give me something to focus on.

You get the picture. I hope this helps you some, though I know it's not exactly what you're looking for. I feel like some of the things I have to do to keep me in the present are absolutely goofy and seem off the wall. Anything that will help though, I am willing to try.

I hope you get some good advice here, I'm looking forward to seeing what others have to say, too.

I can also relate. I have had this for almost 2 years now and it has ruined my life. I can't do anything at all. I never drive anymore, I do not go to stores or anywhere and I am only 31. I have 6 kids and went threw a divorce in january and because my anxiety is so bad the judge gave my babies to my ex husband. So not only has my life been hard these past 2 years it is also very very sad and lonley. I do have a wonderful boyfriend who is a God send and is trying to help me. He is always trying to get me to go places and I will get in the car and once we get their I can't do it as I am afraid I will pass out or make a fool of myself. I do get my kids every other weekend but that is just not enough. God how I hate this stuff....

Hi,

I've had dp/dr most of my life. I am getting really annoyed with all the doctors I've gone to. The only thing that made me feel much better was an MAOI called Nardil. It is one of the oldest but it works the best for me. It's an antidepressant You have to follow a special diet. There are dietary restrictions. I felt bwetter and was active and working while on i. A lot of the doctors only like the SSRIs but they don't help my agitation and depression or the DP/DR either.

Mona

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