Hi--I'm new here and I hope this is the right place to post this message. Here's some background info. on my situation.
My husband and I have been married for 15 years. We have 3 children ages 9 , 6 and 3. Ever since I have known my husband "Kyle" he has smoked pot. We met in college and got married after he got his MBA. We are in our late 30's, I am a stay at home mom and he works for a banking firm. I love my husband very much, and I think he needs help with marijuana addiction.

Kyle smokes pot on a daily basis, and now he even smokes before heading to work. He has been smoking daily for about 17 years. I'm not a psychologist, but he seems to have an addictive personality. A friend introduced him to online poker and now he plays that on a daily basis as well. I am embarrassed to say that I have always been supportive of my husband's habit because he is such a good, kind person and I believed him when he said everything was under control. And from the outside, that's what it seems. He has a very good job, good friends and great kids. Most of his friends smoke, but not on a daily basis.

Well, why am I here after allowing this for so many years? I am afraid. Kyle has been having some angry outbursts at the kids that I have never seen before. About a month ago, there was a period of about 5 days where he would break down in tears everyday before heading off to work. Although he would never say it, he would rather play online poker than spend time with the kids. And lately he has been distant with our neighbors, when he's usually friendly and outgoing. Does long term marijuana use cause such an extreme personality change, or is this masking some other problem he might have? I guess I'm wondering if you or anyone you know who has been a long term user of marijuana went through any of this. And I also don't know where to turn for help, especially since my husband is adamant that he doesn't have a problem and also because obviously, what he is doing is illegal.

If you made it this far, thank you. Any advise is appreciated!

Lucy

I can only share with you my experience. I too have smoked on and off for over 10 years...but I also have an addictive personality and have jumped around from drug to drug. What he is acting like.....doesn't seem as though its from the pot....I'm afraid he might have moved on to something more substancial. Not to make you afraid...but thats what it sounds like to me. Pot just doesn't change a person all of a sudden....He might be dabbling in pills or coke or something else...but I highly doubt that its pot that is making his behavior change after all these years. Best of luck to you and I hope that you have the strength and courage to see this through. Maybe open your eyes to seeing if there is something else going on. Look for any empty prescription bottles...watch his behavior....does he stay up at night into the wee hours playing this poker....does he constantly sniff.....look for certain signs that point to different addictions. Then again it could just be somthing thats going on with him right now ....stress..work....whatever that could be making his behavior unsetteling.....wish I could be of more help to you. Let me know if you need anything else...I'll be more than happy to answer any and all questions that come my way....if I can! :wave:

Thank you for your thoughts. I never thought that his change of behavior could stem from the use of other drugs. I may have to do some searching because I suppose that would make sense. He actually normally goes to sleep around 9:00, no later than 10:00, and that part has always remained the same--he has always been an early riser and early to bed. His poker playing normally starts before dinner, and then continues until he goes to bed.

Thanks again for your thoughts and concern! I hope no other drugs are involved because then deception would be involved as he never told me about that.

Lucy

Lucy...you know your husband better than anyone...so please trust your gut on whateve it is you are feeling. Communication is the key....its better than keeping it all inside. Speaking of internet poker...my boyfriend has just started to play that all the time as well. Gets really annoying when I come home from working all day and he's on the pc making bets...I'm doing laundry and playing with my son...and the poker is his source of entertainment. I'm hoping that its just a phase....men just don't get it sometimes do they? Well...I guess I could tell you a little bit about me...that is if you care to listen! :D
I am not an addict by choice....I have chronic back pain....a herniated disc at L3-L4 and it has a 4ml tear thats leaking fluid onto my spinal cord. Sounds fun huh? Well I'm not ready for the surgery thats required to try to stop the pain....so I have been doing pain management for almost a year now. I take hydrocodone for the pain...but have become dependent on it as well. It's a slippery slope...but for the time being...I can't do anything about it. These boards really help me cope though....its a great source of support.
I hope that you get back to being happy again and you and your husband can work through whatever it is thats going on. I'll keep you in my prayers for sure. Have a good night and a great new day tomorrow. Give those kids lots of love for sure...they don't stay little for long do they? Take care my friend :wave:

Thank you Diva! I guess I just don't get what the fascination is with online poker--it seems like more luck than skill! Oh well, thanks for the support--I'm off to take the boys to Dairy Queen!

Lucy :wave:

I also do not believe pot causes that kind of personality change. But if he is losing at online poker it may. Who handles the finances? How much is he "investing" in the poker? I would look into that.

Poker is very much a skill game, and there are very good players online. Plus gambling is an addictive activity. Alot of the same behavior problems and consequences as any addiction.

That is where I would look.

Just my opinion from the microscopic little I know of the situation

You know, he does get very frustrated when he loses at online poker. I am the one who handles all the finances, so we are ok there. I also have access to his online poker account because he gave me his pin number (although I haven't looked at his account since he started a few months ago).

I am mostly relieved to hear you and diva tell me that his angry outbursts are not caused by the marijuana use because I don't think he could ever give that up. But if it is from the poker, since it is so new, maybe we can discuss cutting back on it. I guess that would explain his not wanting to hang out with the neighbors (he'd rather play poker than do anything!).

Thanks for your thoughts!

Lucy