Hi guys--

My thoughts on the higher power as it relates to recovery were inspired by the discussion in the thread regarding "The Purpose-Driven Life." I enjoyed the thread. I was thinking about God in context of a higher power, which really helps me.

While I enjoy these discussions and totally think they DO belong here, I remembered the people I know who had a problem with 12-step groups because they felt that they would have to be religious. Since this board has many people who do not attend meetings, I did not want anyone to feel like the should not go for fear of not being relate to others on a religious level.

With regard to differing points of view re religion, NA says that you can begin with anything as a higher power to which you hand control of your will and your life. Your definition of a higher power is a very personal thing in this program. Agnostics can engage fully in the 12 steps by interpreting their higher power as something more tangible, e.g. the "group" itself, or even as the "universe". But many people in meetings that I have gone to refer to "God shots" (and I have had many of these--occasions of uncanny synchronicity which seem to increase the more you work the steps and/or stay clean).

When I was in detox, there was a woman who was against organized religion in any way, shape or form. During the discussions of a higher power, I knew that she would just stop listening. I am now probably what you would call religious in the classical sense. I shared with her that before I was this involved in the church, I had a concept of spirituality which involved the "universe" and a "group consciousness," e.g. intuition. This was something she could relate to. I also shared my book called "The Principles Underlying all Religions," a tiny little paperback with a forward by the Dali Lama, which takes each basic tenet (e.g., the golden rule, treat others as you would wish to be treated), and quotes scripture from the major religions, including Christianity, Judaism, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu which reiterate each principle. You don't have to be religious to believe in universal truths, and you can be open to the possibility of a "higher power" even if you do not believe in "God".

One of the NA texts states: " Most of us lacked a working relationship with a Higher Power. We begin to develop this relationship by simply admitting to the possibility of a Power greater than ourselves. Most of us have no trouble admitting that addiction had become a destructive force in our lives. Our best efforts resulted in ever greater destruction and despair . . . Our understanding of a Higher Power is up to us. No one is going to decide for us. We can call it the group, the program, or we can call it God. The only suggested guidelines are that this Power be loving, caring and greater than ourselves. We don't have to be religious to accept this idea. The point is that we open our minds to believe. We may have difficulty with this, but by keeping an open mind, sooner or later, we find the help we need."

The text also states: "Our concept of God comes not from dogma but from what we believe and from what works for us. Many of us understand God to be simply whatever force keeps us clean. The right to a God of your understanding is total and without any catches. Because we have this right, it is necessary to be honest about our belief if we are to grow spiritually."

By the way, I have not been to a meeting in a long time and have not worked all 12 steps. This is only my own interpretation, not much over a year of clean time. (I haven't been able to go to meetings in awhile, so I have promised myself to read and/or post here everyday.) I just think that this part scares some people away from the 12 steps. All the little phrases and the words they use sound cultish at first, but sometimes it's nice to have handy little phrases in your head to remember easily when you need them, e.g., "fake it till you make it" or "1 is too many, a thousand never enough."

And if you do go to a meeting that makes you feel uncomfortable, you can always try another--they are all very different. I hope this makes sense. As for me, I love to go to mass. I guess this has turned more into my own workbook on the subject. But it helped me to crack my NA book today, even if no one reads this!


rosie

Hi Rosie,
Interesting thoughts of yours but mostly I wanted to mention the sweetness with which you very quietly re-wrote this post and relocated it...I didn't mind the original location at all. I just thought how considerate you chose to be in starting this thread up. But then again, you have always struck me as being thoughtful of others and this proves it. It would have been ok with me if (as tired as you were) the original post had stood but obviously it wasn't quite ok with you. I thought your whole demeanor tonight was kind and very generous.
SheSparkles

Thanks for the post Rosie, I'm in the infancy stages of my recovery and it has been reccomended to me that I try a meeting, I'm a bit resistant...I'm an introvert (thats why I love this board, i can hide behind my computer yet still get the benefits of group therapy) Now regarding the higher power, I have always believed in God, but in a Sunday School kind of way..........but recently after reading Gr8ful Goldfishs' post about the Purpose Driven Life and yours above, I justed wanted to state that I feel a "good" force in my life pulling me towards a more spiritual way of thinking.....it's a good thing.......so I was afraid of those meetings because one I am a little shy in front of strangers and two because I was a little afraid of religious slant of the 12 steps.....now I'm intrigued and will definitely check out a meeting.....thanks for the "push"......JT

SheSparkles and mrgrateful, you have no idea how much your kind posts meant to me. This morning I was embarassed, thinking that post was boring, that posting on the thread was terrible and inconsiderate and how dumb it was of me to open up like that because I just sounded like a text book or something. Thank you thank you, I am a little bit fragile right now, but it reminds me that I do have the capacity to be stronger--I knew that writing the post at least helped me, even if no one in cyberspace wanted to read it.

It seems that this fragility, fear of intimacy and sharing, and thinking things are corny reflect a state when I am most vulnerable to any addiction. When I first went to my eating disorder group a long long time ago, I saw everyone supporting each other and was actually grossed out and thought they were gushy. But by the time I was able to work through and really feel my feelings, the disorder was no longer ruling my life. The only way I could get to that point was by reassuring myself that sorrow, fear and anger are not bad feelings, but really intense feelings that we are not used to feeling. I literally have to keep telling myself that these feelings will not hurt me. Also, my support group and higher power remind me that I actually do belong here and that I am allowed to feel these feelings.

Even when I am not taking the pills, there can be times when I know that I am not truly psychologically/spiritually clean. But those times are becoming less frequent. Often now when I get depressed, instead of thinking I wish I had some pills, I am thankful I am not taking the pills, because then I would feel like a depressed drug addict, a feeling that is much worse.

Also, I have learned that once I have reached a place of higher understanding and wisdom, I will not remain at that destination unless I remember that it is not a point at which I will always remain, but an ongoing process of living. That is why 12-step meetings or regular church attendance or, like I am presently doing, promising myself to meditate and participate even just a little bit on this board everyday help me remember that. And would we have reached this level of living absent a large problem or tragedy which rendered us so miserable or disfunctional that we had no choice but to try a different way?

Even after becoming clean, my inner soul sometimes travels a hilly road that goes up and down, but the steps up are greater than the steps down and I am gaining altitude. Sometimes I will go really really high up and just slide back a tiny bit. Actually, I just remembered while writing this the way I viewed changing my life away from a constant obsession of weight, calories and exercise. It was like I was on the top of a cliff, above the fog, and I couldn't see the ground at all. I didn't know what would be left of me without the thoughts that had constantly occupied my mind. But the people supporting me, on the ground where I could not see them, but could only hear them, were saying that life just being me will be better without these obsessions were. They were telling me to jump, that they promised they would catch me and not let me fall to the ground.

In my post, I was afraid that religious people would think I was bashing them and that I would scare people away from the 12-steps if I explained how religious I am. For me, my spiritual beliefs cannot really be put into words. The words are so "2-dimensional" to me, whereas God or the spirit or whatever you want to call it, is 4-dimensional, and cannot be plotted out in the physical world. Just writing this reminds me that I need to continue seek inner peace and to come out of hiding and let people really know me.

These are the thoughts that have helped me. I am certainly have not living with these principles every waking moment. I am now trying to keep them in mind, or I forget. Running away from them makes it a bit harder to get back, but trying a little bit everyday, just like a muscle, makes me stronger and stronger over time.

Love,
rosie

you did good, toots :)
SS

"Often now when I get depressed, instead of thinking I wish I had some pills, I am thankful I am not taking the pills, because then I would feel like a depressed drug addict, a feeling that is much worse. "

Rosie,
Thank you so much for taking the time for sharing this jewel and all the other great thoughts that you put out there. I will remember them and use them, esp. this one in these early days of recovery.

How lucky we all are to have you clean and so willing to share what works for you.

Thank YOU!
:angel: L