TzirTzi
05-01-2005, 08:00 PM
Basically, to cut a long story short, my girlfriend and I have been considering going all the way (both virgins now, it would be when we are both of the legal age) but when it comes to contraception etc, we seem to have very different points of focus. I would mainly be worried about her getting pregnant, and hence would be ok if she was on the pill but we didnt use physical contraception. She is worried about STIs, and doesnt want to go on the pill, instead only using a condom - which I wouldnt be ok with.
So the question I was wondering is - who has got it right - as we are both virgins, both never done anything at all with anybody else, is there actually any chance of one of us having an STI?
(sorry, that didnt actually cut it very short, did it...)
So the question I was wondering is - who has got it right - as we are both virgins, both never done anything at all with anybody else, is there actually any chance of one of us having an STI?
(sorry, that didnt actually cut it very short, did it...)
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Piroska
05-01-2005, 08:40 PM
Technically there is still a (very) small chance that you could have an STD. It is possible to get HIV through blood transfusions (but you can most probably rule that out if you've never had a blood transfusion); and it's technically possible to get HPV from your mother in childbirth. The problem is that it cannot be tested in men, and there are strains that don't cause visible symptoms. So you can't know absolutely for sure if you have it or not.
To my knowledge there are also other STDs that can be transmitted in a non-sexual way; but others might be more knowledgeable on that topic.
Basically both of you have the right to say what you are (un)comfortable with, but neither has the right to demand anything the other is not comfortable with. Why would you not be ok with using a condom? :nono:
To my knowledge there are also other STDs that can be transmitted in a non-sexual way; but others might be more knowledgeable on that topic.
Basically both of you have the right to say what you are (un)comfortable with, but neither has the right to demand anything the other is not comfortable with. Why would you not be ok with using a condom? :nono:
ms_vee
05-01-2005, 08:55 PM
i agree, there could be a very small chance that you could get a sti. some girls that have never had sex before can have bacteria vaginosis(sp). is either one of you ready to be a parent? because if your not i suggest that you use some othe kind of contriceptive besides a condom because they do break sometimes. trust me thats how i had my first son! so ask you gf to go on the pill or somethin. im on the patch right now and it works great. i have also been on the depo shot. be careful with that on cuz it can make some people gain or lose a lot of weight. also if she is afraid of her or your parents finding out that she is on bc she can go to a planed parenthood. they will not tell anybody anything. and if they HAVE to call you for some reason and you are not there or you dont answere the phone they will just say something like "oh just tell her that "cindy"/"rachel" called. i always thought that was kinda cool.
TzirTzi
05-02-2005, 03:57 AM
ok thanks - im not not ok with using a condom as such.. just kinda difficult to get hold of without my parents' knowledge. but so basically overal thing is definately use condom *and* the pill or similar?
analog2000
05-02-2005, 01:10 PM
You can't get ahold of a condom without your parents' knowledge, but you can find the time and privacy to have sex? Come on! They sell condoms everywhere, even the grocery store, gas stations, and Wal-Mart. Also, if your girlfriend can get a prescription for the pill, surely the two of you can get some condoms.
If the two of you have never had ANY sexual contact with anyone else, you do not have any STDs. They are called SEXUALLY transmitted diseases for a reason, you have to have SEX (or sexual contact) to get them. There is always the off chance that you contracted something in another way (at birth, blood transfusions, etc.). But other than IV drug use, this isn't very likely.
Nonethless, I would recommend that you still use condoms. They provide an excellent back-up method to the birth control pill. Also, something struck me about your first post: You are concerned with pregnancy, but your girlfriend is concerned with STDs? Why? If you are both virgins, why is this her concern? And does this mean that she is not worried about pregnancy? If you are not ready to be a father, and she isn't that concerned about it, I think that is somethng you should definitely work out before the two of you start a sexual relationship.
Good luck.
If the two of you have never had ANY sexual contact with anyone else, you do not have any STDs. They are called SEXUALLY transmitted diseases for a reason, you have to have SEX (or sexual contact) to get them. There is always the off chance that you contracted something in another way (at birth, blood transfusions, etc.). But other than IV drug use, this isn't very likely.
Nonethless, I would recommend that you still use condoms. They provide an excellent back-up method to the birth control pill. Also, something struck me about your first post: You are concerned with pregnancy, but your girlfriend is concerned with STDs? Why? If you are both virgins, why is this her concern? And does this mean that she is not worried about pregnancy? If you are not ready to be a father, and she isn't that concerned about it, I think that is somethng you should definitely work out before the two of you start a sexual relationship.
Good luck.
TzirTzi
05-02-2005, 03:51 PM
Well, she is worried about pregnancy as well, its just that the amount of social and educational hype about STIs has got to her more than me, so she's very scared of that. Or at least that's how I looked at it. She has been told that she could get STIs from sexual contact even if neither of us has had any sexual contact with anyone else before. That seemed a bit strange to me, so that's why I originally posted.
And yeah, good point.. I suppose I'll be able to find a way of getting condoms without my parents knowing, even if it is just getting them from train station toilets.
Thanks everyone for all the advice :)
And yeah, good point.. I suppose I'll be able to find a way of getting condoms without my parents knowing, even if it is just getting them from train station toilets.
Thanks everyone for all the advice :)
malibu82
05-05-2005, 07:22 AM
Hi TzirTzi, personally I think your girlfriend is a very smart girl, thinking of STD's first and foremost. I think so many young girls who are ready to become sexually active (and I was exactly the same) are so concerned about preventing pregnancy that they forget about STD's and like me end up, not with a baby, but with a nasty little STD!
I think the both of you are on the right track but have to reach a compromise by taking all preventitive methods to eliminate the risk of both pregnancy AND STD's. x
I think the both of you are on the right track but have to reach a compromise by taking all preventitive methods to eliminate the risk of both pregnancy AND STD's. x