I am taking a poll here to sort of settle an argument. My fiance feels that my five year old is overly whiny. He does whine at bed time and occasionally when he doesn't get his way. I feel that this is age appropriate but my fiance feels that it is indicative a problem, i.e. I am too lenient with my son. Any input will be appreciated.

Sounds normal to me. Mine gets whiney anytime she is tired.

Both of my kids still whine...unless it's bedtime and they're tired i don't put up with it...i don't think it serves any purpose other than annoying me....i do think it's normal for kids to whine...but when mine do, other than when they are tired and it's bedtime i just ask them to talk like a big boy or girl otherwise i won't listen to them, they stop it pretty quick. If they are whining to get what they want then i do think it's unecessary, but like i already said if there is a reason for it...tired, or hungry then it's a bit more understandable...kids are alowed to be cranky too.

I agree. If he's over tired or whatever, I coach, "I can't understand you when you talk like that" or "You're a great big boy, can you talk to me nicely?" It is annoying but considering a year ago, he would fall to the floor in tears if he didn't get his way, I feel like we've come a long way. I heard a cute quote the other day.."We wait two years for our children to walk and talk and then spend the rest of our lives waiting for them to sit down and be quiet." LOL

You didn't mention whether he whines only at home or with you or everywhere with everbody.

At five, he's probably starting school [kindergarten] or first grade. As his parent, you may choose to put up with the whining, but what about the other people [kids and adults] that he's going to be interacting with for the rest of his life? Whiners get picked on since they identify themselves as victims and/or they get ignored because they're always 'crying wolf'. In either case, they have fewer friends than other [non-whining] kids.

Hi Rebecca,

How did things turn out? I've been thinking about you since you posted. Not because of your child, but because of your fiance. I don't want to be nosey, but his attitude really bothers me. Does your fiance have any kids of his own? I can't help but think that you have five years of experience under your belt and it is very unfair of him to question you. I really hope this is just a bump in the road for you because disagreements about how to raise your child could cause you major problems in the future. I apologize if I've butted my nose in where it doesn't belong. This has really been eating at me and I finally gave in and posted something.

Hi Nancy. No, he doesn't have any of his own and his only experience is with his niece and nephew who live across country. It has been a while since my original post and things have changed for the better. My fiance has finally realized that while it is ok to have high expectations of a child, it is necessary to have realistic ones. They are getting on better than ever now that an understanding of sorts has been reached. The big one knows that the little one may get whiny when tired and the little one knows that the big one may get grouchy when whined at so they compromise. And they have figured it out on their own with out mom having to get all worked up. So far so good anyway.

Hi Rebeca,

I'm really happy to hear that things are working out well. Sounds like your fiance is a keeper. It's wonderful when a new father can be flexible and willing to learn. I wish you all much happiness. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif