My Mother is 65 years old and should be enjoying a well earned retirement with my Father. She has had her share of traumatic experiences but they were a very long time ago. She had a breakdown when she was 19 but besides the seemingly normal ups and downs has been okay until two years ago. She went into severe depression and was hospitalized. She was put on anti-depressants and released a few days later. After awhile, she felt she didn't need the medication any longer and eventually weened herself off. Things have seemed to be okay since then until recently. She won't eat. She doesn't want to do anything but lay around. She won't get dressed. My poor father doesn't know what to do. He took her to the emergency room last Friday and they gave her some more meds and she was supposed to go to the Dr. yesterday but refused. Today she says she just wants to go to the hospital.

I can't understand why she is being this way. She has no reason to be depressed. She has a very loving close family. Her and my father are quite active for their age. They travel, go camping, bowling, dancing and are quite active in different social groups. I just don't get it and find it very hard to be simpathetic. Please, if anyone out there can help me understand what she is going through, I would be very grateful. :confused:

im sorry for the pain u r going through but just because ur mom doesnt have any 'reason' for being depressed, it doesnt make the depression any less real! sometimes depression can be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, so on outside appearances the person has everything etc but inside they are missing some important chemicals. i know u find it hard to be understanding but PLEASE try to be, being depressed is HORRIBLE!! sometimes even the person who is depressed will not know why they are or how to stop it! depression is a disease that needs treatment like other diseases. so by getting her to take her ad's again, she will hopefully feel better. also if she suffered a breakdown, it doesnt matter when it was, she may be feeling reprocussions from that. she needs to see a counsellor to help her. PLEASE dont blame ur mother for being like this! it isnt her fault she needs help and ur support MORE THAN EVER!

take care

Brett :angel:

It is a chemical imbalance. She has no control over the chemical imbalance in her body. If she were diagnosed with a disease it would be easier to accept right? Most people don’t understand that depression isn’t always situational. It is a disease. She isn’t choosing to be this way. Her body isn’t giving her a choice. She needs to get back on her meds.

If there was a reason she got off them besides the fact that she felt better then she can try others. If there were side effects then she can try others until she finds one that works well for her.

Most people make the mistake to get off the medicine because they feel ok. That is the problem. The medicine is what makes her feel ok. She NEEDS those meds!!

Good luck. I hope this makes sense.

If she wants to go to the hospital then take her to the Emergency Room. She knows she found relief there before and knows she will do so again. It is not a weakness at all to be depressed. She is a very strong woman to realize that she needs help and please see that she gets it. She does not have to have problems in her life...that is the depression. She needs all the love and support that you and your dad can give her. You may not understand but be loving and patient with her...depression is a very emotionally painful disease. It is horrible! Please...if she makes any references to harming herself....take them very seriously and get immediate help for her. She can't control this... she needs professional help.

Best wishes,
Sam :angel:

Thank you all for your replies. I know she cannot help what she is going through. We took her to the hospital and she was admitted. She will probably be there for a few days. She quit taking her meds last time both because she felt better and didn't like the side effects. I also think she thought she was weak if she stayed on them. I am trying to help her understand that there is nothing wrong with being on the medication if it helps. Hopefully this time we can get her on something that works and encourage her to continue seeing a therapist. She has a very loving family and although it is hard for us to totally understand, we will be there for her. Thanks again for your replies.

Imagine things from her perspective.....she doesn't understand what is happening and why she is this way any more than you do. Plus she has the misery of going through it.

Just love her and try to help where and how you can. First order of business is to get her to seek help and get back on the medications.....they obviously worked for her and she needed them.

Good luck,
OC9

In no way am I belittling what she is going through and feeling and I sincerely apologize if that was the impression I gave. I just thought if I could get the thoughts of others in the same situation, it would help me understand and I could in turn, help the other members of my family understand. As Samantha said, at least she had the strength to know she needed help and asked for it. I just hope this time she continues the treatment so she can enjoy life because she really deserves and so does my Dad. He is beside himself because he doesn’t know what to do. He is very loving and attentive to her but it is difficult for him as well.

You are a very loving and compassionate son! I am so glad she was admitted to the hospital. Hopefully she will get the medicine that will help her to feel better. I know this is difficult on you and your father.

When I get real depressed my sons don't understand either but it makes me feel better knowing that they still love me and want me to feel better.

Best wishes,
Sam :angel:

as sam said u r an understanding son :) it shows by the fact that u came here and asked for help. i really hope things get better for u and ur family!

Good luck and take care

Brett :angel: