For those of you who aren't familiar with my work history (I've posted it on this board a few times), I've been working part-time in sales at a small, locally-owned, store. I have a general communications degree with a concentration in business management. I was considering retail management for some time. I got into the sales job shortly out of college to gain experience, then got into a management trainee program a few months later. I ended up hating the job and the business, so I quit and my previous boss took me back at the store. This was a few months ago.

I've been struggling to figure out what I want to do - my career life has been dominating my entire life lately, making me pretty miserable at times. My parents have been helping me out with rent, which has me feeling degraded. I had a good college internship that made me self-sufficient. I could've gotten on full-time with that business, but decided against it because I didn't like being behind a desk all day. I've been reaching for different things I see in the paper, with no luck. It hurts so much to get my hopes up to be turned down. The sad part is that these jobs aren't really that exciting to me. I just want to be able to make it on my own. I don't want a high-profile job. My dad said the degree was just a general degree to get me started, and that I'd probably have to go back to school to get specialized. I didn't know what I wanted to do through most of college. I've been thinking about veterinary technology. It's something that I wanted to do after high school, but my dad said I needed a four-year degree. I'm thinking of going back to school to become a vet tech, but am wondering if it's really worth it - they don't make much money. The vet assistant jobs and some of the vet tech jobs don't even require a degree, but I've had little luck applying to those. I actually heard back from one, but found out that it wasn't as close to this area as I thought it was, and everyone is telling me not to go for it since it would mean moving to a place where I know no one.

Anyway, the reason I am writing this is, on top of everything, I've not been happy in my current job lately. We have a new manager that I don't like, and I dread going in. It's just so degrading to have to sit around and wait the whole week doing nothing, just to go in there for two or three days - being so dormant the rest of the time makes it so hard to go in there and do a good job. Fact is, I'm not a natural salesperson and only went for it because sales and retail is one of the few things I can do with this worthless degree. Whenever they inquire about my job search, I don't have anything positive to say, which makes me feel worse. I had talked to my boss about quiting when the new manager came because I suspected she is dishonest and still do - I didn't want what she did to come back to hurt me somehow. He talked me into staying saying that he wants me there because he can trust me to tell him what's going on. I've noticed a few things missing since she has been here - things that customers have mentioned seeing before, or things that will come up in a conversation, and that I suddenly realize are missing. It's hard to for me to prove because she moved everything when she started and has still been moving things around. She keeps putting off doing inventory, which would be the only real way to determine what's missing. My life is just a wreck. My dad, who is a business professor, and former manager, advised me leaving when this manger first came. I want to go, but don't want to be totally jobless. It's really not enough money to help me much, but I can say to prospective employers that I am employed now. I know this is something I need to decide for myself, but I have been so down lately that I don't trust my judgement. This job stuff has been a constant thorn in my side that won't go away. I tried going to therapy sessions, but quit because I don't want to spend my parents money. It was their idea to go, and I know I need to do something to help myself, but I don't know what. I am honestly trying to get my career on track, but I guess life is just out to get me, because nothing I do goes right. I'm at a loss about what to do about this situation, and could use some objective opinions, please.

I've found that if you like your job, you tend to like the rest of your life. But I think that's more important to men than women. If you hate your job, you won't do well at it and it will just reinforce depression. So, from wear I sit, you should figure out what you like to do and go for it until you get it

I've found that if you like your job, you tend to like the rest of your life. But I think that's more important to men than women. If you hate your job, you won't do well at it and it will just reinforce depression. So, from wear I sit, you should figure out what you like to do and go for it until you get it

I excel well above and beyond any realistic expectations at my job, but I don't like it. Nobody listens to anything I say, things get screwed up as a result, and it comes crashing down on me, at which point everyone still ignores me. I do agree I'd be happier if I liked my job, although I still wouldn't be happy.

Again, from my own experience, the people you work with are a huge component of job satisfaction. If you are excelling and hating it, that's kinda tough. Their are different "corporate cultures" around which are supportive and that could be the ingredient that's missing for you. The problem is that most companies have jerks and for some reason, they often add something to the mix of the success of the company. But having said all that, some cultures are better than others. I don't know if this is at all helpful, but hating a job kinda spills over into the rest of your life and it might take a few tries to find the right place for you.. If you are excelling, you ought to be able to find a good spot for yourself as good people are hard to find.

I hope this helps, I don't have any magic answers just experience.

LEELEE3,

From what you have just said, I assume that you are still pretty young, maybe in your early twenties. It's really not that uncommon for a person such as yourself to be unsure about what they want to do. You've gone to school, found some jobs, and yet you find yourself unhappy in what you are doing. Now, I don't know whether you've considered this or not, but have you thought about enlisting in the military? A lot of people in your particular situation choose such an option. It can afford you an opportunity to think about what you really would like to do. You can learn new skills and get paid for it at the same time. And when you leave, you just may have discovered just what it is you like to do. And you can even continue your education, and get most of it paid for. A lot of people your age opt for this opportunity. It just may be the best thing for you. Have you considered it?

Or have you considered temp work? Don't settle for some warehouse job, though. Tell the temp agencies you are interested in clerical, period. Ask specifically about temp-to-hire opportunities. You won't have health insurance, and you might have to work second shift, but you should be given more hours. Remember not to settle for the first low-paying crummy job they offer you, though; insist on a job that will utilize at least some of your computer skills. It's worth a shot....

Search the internet using the term quarter life crisis and read some of the websites and articles....you are not alone.

In fact, I'm in the situation you are in....albeit I am sort of on the other side of the pendulum from you. I have a wife and two great kids, a home, two good but aging cars, a little savings (stress little), a retirement nest egg, two degrees, and ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE. It seems like you are trying to get started and I am trying to keep what I already attained. Both of us, however, seem to have no idea what to do with ourselves.

My career goals defined me for so many years....15 or so through high school and college twice. I got out of Accounting due to disillusionment and stress into project management (the job from HELL), and finally ended up in software analysis.

I like my job most days and it is relatively laid back working with great people. However, there is no career path and no promotions. I had a bad experience with the job before this so I am extremely reluctant to leave this job for the great unknown.

All this led to a great big pit of depression. I am slowly working through all of the non-career issues and hoping that something will pop up on the radar for me.

Don't let it kill you....there are jobs out there that will challenge you and you will soon find your calling. Until then, kind of enjoy it...everyone is alive and no one has or will die as a result of your and my career crisis. Kind of embrace it and make it looked like you planned it....having no idea what you want to do. Then all the people who are acting like they have it all together will be posting here soon saying "I have this guy I know and he sort of does his own thing and seems so comfortable in life".

I have learned one thing through all of this. Nothing is ever as good as it seems and nothing is ever as bad as you might fear. New job--different headaches. New spouse or girfriend--different problems. We must strive to find peace and contentment in between the days of howling crisis and only then will we find true happiness.

p.s. I would keep a running tab of all the money your parents give you or pay on your behalf and when you get settled, start paying them back. It's the right thing to do.

Good luck, buddy.

OC9

Hi LeeLee,

I have a fairly good idea about where you're coming from because I'm in a very similar boat. I have two college degrees: the first, a Bachelor's degree in Liberal Studies, is one I earned from a state college when I thought I wanted to teach elementary school; the second degree, an AAS in Medical Administration, is one I earned at a junior college in order to pursue something in the medical field.

Right now, I'm getting assignments through a temp. agency. The last one lasted for about 3 months. It was all right, though I really am starting to reconsider the paperwork aspect of the medical field, and it's really irritating as I'm living back at home again with my mom, attempting to save money for a small house (I am disillusioned by this whole apartment-renting thing--I want equity--though I did just pay off my entire car loan about three days ago, and I have paid off my credit card for the moment :D :cool: ).

It has been suggested that I take a career/interest inventory test to see where my interests lie on it. I think I might do this. Maybe you should consider it. My fear is that I have been going in the completely wring direction toward my path of contentment all along, though people still think that I would make a good teacher *LOL*. It's just sooooooooo frustrating to be this age---AGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! BLAHHHHHH!

I Feel For You :) ,
Colleen

P.S. I'm 28 years old :)