Ok well when i was little i had a verbally abusive father an i remember to this day finding comfort sucking my thumb while holding onto a pillowcase. Well When i turned 8 my dad kept taking them away and hiding them. "all of a sudden i lost" My snoopy pillowcase, i got another one then mysteriously my flowered pillowcase vanished, got another one and then my rainbow brite one was lost to. I got a sleeping dog one which i have to this day and occasionally mostly at night before bed i still suck my thumb. No problem except i'm going to be 21 in Nov. Lol my family and friends all know i do this, i just wanted to see if anyone can comment on why i still feel i need this. every year i try to test myself by telling my mom to hide the one i have now and not give it to me. after about a day i have an anxiety attack and she gives it to me. Other times before i leave the house i have to know where it is before i leave or i can't go. Please help thanks!

Maybe I am totally off-base here, but here's my opinion. I am big fan of a person making themselves "comfortable" as long as their methods are:
1) legal and moral (or at least not illegal and/or immoral),
2) not disruptive to others.

It sounds like what you are doing fits in with the above criteria. You may have some explaining to do to your future spouse, but if they are the right person, they will understand. I know a girl who had a doll as her security item, and even now that she is married and a mother, she still sleeps with her little doll in the bed with her. Some people just like to have a security item. It's not TOTALLY normal, but it's a long way from being whacked out. It's just the way you are! So just go with it, and stop torturing yourself.

[This message has been edited by Greenberry (edited 08-28-2002).]

I used to have a blanket when I was younger. when I was eleven my mother took it away secretly and told my father to bin it. He put it in the rag drawer in the garage and gave it back years later. Anyway thats irrelevant. If you are embarrassed by your pillow, howabout trying to keep it somewhere near you, but not holding it, then moving it a bit further away bit by bit over a few weeks until you can keep it in a drawer near your bed. You would know it would still be there but noone else need know. as for the thumbsucking, embarrassment put paid to mine when I was at boarding school.

I am glad I am not the only one who does this....It might sound weird, but for some reason when I was younger I developed an attachment to a particular cabbage patch doll shirt. I guess because it was soft and felt nice when I touched it, whatever. It replaced my having the need to touch the corners of my pillow cases as I fell asleep (I don't know how that one got started!) Now I can't go to sleep without it and I get really nervous and upset when I can't find it! There have been a few times when it has fallen under my bed and I have literally torn the room apart at 1am looking for it! Once it got attached to my pants and came to school with me! Luckily I noticed it as soon as I parked the car, and I quickly grabbed it and threw it in my bookbag! LOL

I also cannot go to sleep unless my air purifier is running. Since I was little, every night before I went to sleep we turned this on to sort of clean the air in my room so I wouldn't get an allergy attack, and it makes a soft humming sound. Now I cannot fall asleep unless this is on! My brother has the same problem!

I also used to suck my thumb when I was a kid, but that stopped when I got such a severe overbite that I could actually stick my index finger up into the space between my top and bottom teeth! I had to wear braces for 4 years! UGH! So I no longer suck my thumb to go to sleep!

I guess all of my strange sleeping habits come from never being able to fall asleep as a child. I'm glad to know that I am not alone!