My son will turn 3 in a few weeks & we recently bought him a toddler bed. He refuses to sleep in it. We can get him to sleep in it for an hour or two then he wakes up & ends up in our bed. I have tried to tire him out & nix the afternoon naps & yet we still can't get him to bed. He used to be so good about going to sleep at night & now it is a nightmare. Anyone have any suggestions on how to get him to like his bed & want to sleep in it.

Did he ever sleep in your bed before? I assume that he slept in a crib until recently and now that he is in the big bed, he is more mobile and can now get to your room, whereas he couldn't before.

I am no expert here, but I will be facing this situation shortly--my daughter is 23 months old and we are expecting a new baby in April and hope to have the eldest in her own bed by April or shortly thereafter. What I would do, however, is EVERY TIME he appears in your bed, get up and take him back to his room and put him in his own bed. EVERY SINGLE TIME. If he gets away with it once, he will think it's a regular thing, and it will be even harder to break the habit. Also, some other advice I have heard is to let him pick out his own sheets, and have him help you make the bed up, to kind of give him "ownership" of the bed, and thus maybe make him want to sleep there. Also, is he scared of the dark? If so, maybe you should get him a nightlight and plenty of stuffed animal friends (let him pick) to keep him company. Just some ideas, from an amateur. Good luck, and let me know how it goes. I am trying to gather information/ideas for my own future parenting efforts!

Hi, Phillie2002, welcome to the board. Glad to see you ask this one here and maybe you can get some answers from several different perspectives, since I'm the Grandmom and I know how much sleep you've been losing. Good luck!!!!

When my daughter was young she came through to our bed and tried to get in, I knocked that on the head straight away, its hard because you really want them to cuddle up with you but I had to be firm because it causes lots of problems down the track otherwise.

I always let my son sleep with me. 10 pound child and a c-section made it to hard to get in and out of the bed to nurse him.

I had some really wonderful memories of him talking and smiling in his sleep. He never slept in a crib.

I thought okay let's buy him a toddler bed and work him into it. That was a year ago!

I sold the toddler bed and bought a twin bed got nice "boy" sheets and fixed it up thinking he would want to try. Even tried putting him down for a nap in it. Still no luck.

I think he will be driving before he sleeps in his own bed.

I wish I could offer some help. I'll eventually get him out of my bed.....I hope. (He is three now)

The thing to do is just what the other poster said. Every time he comes into your bed you must take him back to his own bed and settle him in. You can offer to stay with him till he falls asleep but gently but firmly remind him that this is his bed and this is where he is to sleep. If he wakes up and comes back in by you take him back to his bed again. Once he realizes that he will be taken back to his bed every time he will soon get the idea that he needs to sleep in his bed and not yours. It may take a bit but be consistent.

i'm not to this part yet and i dread it-i know i would love to put my baby in my bed and snuggle but i'm resisting the urge-my best friend let her daughter sleep with her and now she is 5 and still is in there-imagine daddy,mommy,and 5 yr old -in a queen size bed-now she has another daughter-i told her she better not do it with this one-lol

Your friend should long since have trained her 5 year old to sleep in a bed by herself. As she starts school if someone finds out that she sleeps with her parents there could be someone at school aka a teacher who misconstrues this as wrong and reports it to social services etc. I'd hate to see that happen but in todays society it is a very likely possibility. I would mention this to your friend as it is not always fun to deal with social services even if you have done nothing wrong.

Good luck Phillie.

Three is also a time of first nightmares for children so maybe get a flashlight for your child or provide the baby monitor again and let them know that you will be there if they need you and of course follow up. You can get them to feel safe and secure (probably at least a month or two).

Also try letting them pick out new sheets and maybe a new stuffed animal. Whatever you do, never allow them back into your bed. You are better off lying in their bed when they are scared until they feel safe. Explain that mommy & daddy have to clean the house, cook, etc. so they don't think that you are leaving them but, that you love them and have responsibilities.

I am sure your child will grow out of this stage but, you will need to be firm and consistent for it to work. My son now only sleeps in my bed when he is very sick (throwing up) and that is our only exception.

Best of Luck.

Thanks for all the replies. It's amazing how differently it is for everyone. I have to address this to Kalleycat, you made me laugh at your post. It is nice to see someone else who has a sense of humor about this situation. I think of how excited we were when we got the toddler bed. We let him pick out his own sheets & thought he is so ready for this. What a bust that was. I can get him to sleep about 4-5 hours a night in his bed & though he is still coming into our bed, I think anytime he spends in his is better than nothing. All we can do is keep on trying.