today my son and his friend were up in his room playing and i went to check on them when i walked in they were naked and playing with each others penis, kind of like masterbating each other. i was just wondering what is going on with this. i havent told my wife yet cause i don't know if this is normal, and i don't want her to worry. please help me with this

I am no expert in this field but I have a 9 year old daughter. I imagine your son and his friend have discovered that touching down there feels nice and is probably pretty innocent, however they should know at that age that being naked is not really acceptable when playing. It sounds like it is time to sit down and have one of those chats. P.S. Some 10 year old boys at our school have been caught looking up porn sites on the school computer, so I guess this is the age they start to get curious.

what if a girl was touching him there what would i say to that.

I can tell you, the first thing I would do is FREAK OUT!!!!! In private of course, and only for a moment.

After that, I would take my son aside and gently explain to him that it is TOTALLY inappropriate for him to play without his clothes on, and that it is inappropriate for him to EVER touch another person's private parts, or to have someone else touch his--which would just be a STRONG restatement of things that I have already told him. Of course in the future I would have to modify that statement in later discussions with him, but at his age, IT IS inappropriate for him to be touched or touching someone else. I would probably also brief my husband on the situation and get him to have the "sex" chat with the boy, if he hadn't already. Good luck, and I would do the exact same if it was a girl...

If it was a girl he was playing with then he most definately needs to be told that his genitals are private and not something for others to play with. Since you obviously haven't had a talk with your son about his gentials being private and not for others to touch it is high time you have this chat with him as well as a chat about sex, pregancy and all that stuff. You also need to fill your wife in on what is going on so that you are both in agreement about what you will tell him.

Its a normal exploring and growing up thing. Even if his friend was a girl, not much risk of pregancy or marriage, and still -plenty- of time to learn about privacy and safe sex and all that adult stuff, before the opposite sex attraction thing starts happening. Hey, not to worry. Don't they all get naked together in the locker room, swimming hole, showers, and so on and so on?

Eight years old is plenty old enough to know that it is not appropriate to disrobe in front of someone else. And not everyone gets naked in locker rooms, and elsewhere, and people usually aren't touching and playing with each other in locker room type situations (note I said usually!).

By 8 almost 9 years old he better start knowing about pregnancy and sex and how things work. Beleive it or not at this age some girls are already starting their periods and lots of the kids that age already have boyfriends or girlfriends. To CharlesTwo...........at what age do you think kids start in with sex and other related sexual stuff? Age 9 is definately when they start getting into this stuff so by age 9 they should have long since heard about sex, pregnancy and STD's. Also people at that age do not shower, use locker rooms nor swim nude coed. At that age kids are already talking about things more sexual than you can imagine. Just last spring my son came home and wanted to know why his buddies were harassing him becuase he didn't know what what so funny about the number 69. I thought I had covered all bases pretty well but apparently I didn't since his buddies all knew about 69 but he didn't. He had just turned 12 when this happened.

I think people are generally way too uptight about this. I remember "playing doctor" with two neighbor boys when I was about this age. No one ever caught us and we soon stopped on our own...before age 10. We were just curious, uninhibited children.
I don't think that it is a big deal at all.
I bought a book about development & sexuality for my youngest children (5 & 8) and they love reading it.
Maybe your son would like a book?

i agree with mushroom, it was the same for me and everything stoped soon. Its just a thing some youngsters go through

Hi there.
This happened to me as well. My son and one of his male friends we're humping and rubbing against eachother in the bedroom. I feel that is was exploration and not anything to worry about. it's case of " I'll show you mine if you show me yours". I talked with some social worker friends of mine and we all agreed, it was nothing to be ashamed about and no punishment was needed. I must admit, I got a little homophobic about this situation at first.....I've done my research. Don't worry, your child is normal.....completely. By the way, yes there is nudity in locker rooms at this age....YMCA anyone?

take care.....

I just re read mlgable's post. It said " coed.......in regards to showering at the age of 9.
oops.......