I'm bulimic but haven't done it for several years. A lot of stress came about, mostly from a major incident but I found myself back in the cycle. After 4 years of not purging (with laxatives or anything) I am back to where I started and then some. It seems like it is worse than before especially with the ana tendencies. I have gotten obessive about calorie counting and purging everything I eat. I never binged a whole lot but it seems like if I don't purge after every meal, I want to crawl out of my skin.

I fessed up to a friend and I regret it (sort of). I hate her asking me what I ate today, going through my bags from the store looking for the laxatives. The last 3 nights she has made me sit with her until I eat and then won't leave for more than an hour after.

I'm not looking for ways to get around her, I want to stop. I don't want this cycle back again. I'm too old and fought too hard to break it before but it seems like its worse. Anyone have any suggestions?

I know your friend means well, but it is actully hindering to have someone continually monitor what you are buying and eating. I think this only makes the problem worse. It is difficult to relate this to someone, but even more difficult to feel you are a child who has to be babysat because that is not the issue at all. It is just creating another one.
I was bulemic and was totally sick of the whole thing. I used laxatives beyond beyond. I finally had my fill of it. The first thing I had to do was throw away the scales, as I weighed myself over 20 times a day. It was such a horrid life of hiding and hurting myself.
It was not easy, because I knew I would be putting weight back on, but I finally got so disgusted with myself, I threw the scale away and have not owned one since.
I understand what you are going through, but I don't think your friend can understand in the least as not having been there and gone through it.

Yup, I agree completely. I doesn't help that she is a big woman (my guess, around 250 or so) and so that only adds to the whole irritation factor. I resent being treated like I am 3 and I resent myself for doing it to myself. Its a crappy place to be.

Please know that there is a reason you want to do this, perhaps for some reason you can't even recall. You need to do this for yourself. Mine got so bad I was worried I would end up a doctor, and then they would know my little secret. I would be ashamed and embarrassed.
Maybe your friend doesn't want you to be successful. I started keeping only in the house what I should be eating. Then, once in a while I would go somewhere for a treat to reward myself with my self control. It takes a little while, and sure you will slide backwards sometimes. THe biggest part is, you have to want to do it for yourself and your body. Your body is going through an extremely difficult time as well as your mental well being. I found a diary helped me to record each day. At first I wrote in it alot, especially went I felt like binging, which would help me to distract my thoughts. Also I would take a long bath while playing relaxing music to treat myself to positive thoughts and try to rule out the negative behavior. Just give yourself time. Please write to us and let us know how you are doing and what we can do to help you