Sigh.. so I got the hospital threat again yesterday from my therapist. I'm still annoyed by that because my health is just fine and I've only lost a few pounds. But regardless.. I thought maybe I wanted to get bad enough to have to be sent to a hospital, that I would be proud to be a successful anoretic.. but I guess in the end the threat was too much because I'm going to try and stop restricting again. I tried today. Ugh, it feels awful. Too full. Too frustrated for not being able to lose any more weight. Feeling so weak because I don't have the damn guts to actually be a good anoretic. Want to claw my skin off. Hope this wears off.

Hey you
God I hear ya sister! When it comes to having to put the breaks on restricting it is HARD! I saw my therapist today and finally told her about my relapse. She was of course happy that I haven't lost any weight, which of course I was NOT happy about! But the rational part of me knows she is right. She was really confrontational with me and my "obsessive thinking". Which of course was not what I wanted to hear, but she's right.
Anyway, I have gotten the hospital threats too. It doesn't make you a "successful" or "unsuccessful" anorectic if you do or do not enter the hospital. In the end it's all the same. An ED is hell, it destroys a lot, and success or failure is not the point. I guess we just have to get to a point where we decide "I've had a enough". I know that not restricting is hard for me, I don't know what's too much when I'm not restricting a lot of times. It's a huge struggle. But we're all here for you. I know I'm definitely here, you've been there for me a lot of times. Anything I can do let me know. I'm definitely here to encourage you.

Take care
Lauren

Hey I can totally relate too what ur going thru!! I have been restricting like crazy for the last month and a half and now i am down 15 pounds. I am not that tiny, but I did NOT do it in a healthy way which is causing my sister and BOSS to worry!! I have absolutly no control over this disease right now. It is running my life again and I am on some kind of CRAZY relapse and I have no idea what to do!!
Some sick part of me just wants to ignore it. I feel like I have fought this so sh@* so long and so many times just to continue to go around in circles. I find it really hard to admit that this is not over!!?! ( and I am extremely impatient. If I say I am done with this, why can't it just be over ya know:) )

Anyways I am rambling now.....sorry. I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS, stay strong. I feel like we are very simular in our recovery/relapse peroids and I am here for you to listen and relate as you overcome these hard times. Hopefully we can help each other, u are not alone.

Muah
-Jade

Thanks for the support, girls. This is such a struggle! I found a support group at an eating disorder center not too far from me. I'm going to try and go tonight. It's really hard to be struggling through this and have nearly no one that I interact with every day know about it or understand it. These boards help a lot, so I thought a support group might as well. Hope it goes well. Thanks again. Keep on keeping on..

Hey,
I go to a group therapy session every week and it is really the greatest help for me. It is really amazing how much it helps to sit in a room with people who are thinking and feeling the same (or almost the same) things as you, who can totally understand you and relate to you. i hope that you do go to the group and that it helps you as much as it has helped me. i have made some of the greatest friends ever in my group, alot of the time you find people who are just truly amazing and inspirational. i hope that it helps cause i know exactly what you mean, turning around when you are in a pattern of restricting can be soooooo tough, i couldn't do it myself and ended up having to leave college and was in the hospital for 3 months. but if you really decide that you can and will then you will cause you definitely have the strength you just have to harness it in the right way!
good luck and stay strong, you can do this!!!!

Hey!
That's great that you can go to a support group! I think that's a wonderful way to find a connection. I've looked around me and they are lacking. Any groups that there are either are for loved ones of people with ED's or they are at places that I interact with for my job (I'm a therapist at a major mental health agency). So it's frustrating. I know that when I've done group therapy it has been really helpful. It's definitely worth a shot! Let us know how it goes!
Lauren