My two daughters do not have a problem going to the bathroom in their pants, when they are too busy doing something "more important". We have punished & punished and can't get them to stop...what can we do??

They also do not wipe well and don't care if they leave "stuff" in their underwear. Please send some advice.

What type of punishment have you tried? Have you tried taking things away, like a favorite toy or something they really like, taking away TV time or time with friends, not allowing any deserts. Or have you tried rewardig them if they stay dry and don't do it, nothing big just a small reward, an ice cream cone, a new book or something they may really like.
Hope some of this helps.
Good luck!

Have you tried explaining about infections and stuff and how unsanitary it can be? That they may smell, that they may lose friends over this (who wants to be associated with a kid that age who's doing that?). Have you talked to the doctor for possible medical problems? Could they be acting out for attention? Are they trying to tell you something?

Just some ideas, I don't think punishment is the answer in a situation like this, but that's my opinion. Hope I've helped a bit.

mommyof5 http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

Hi Homemom~
Welcome http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wave.gif

Man, this is one that I haven't heard often. My niece did this when she was 12 but we were told that it was her way of dealing with the trama of dealing with the death of her little brother. Has anything happened to them emotionally? Any chance of abuse? <I don't mean to suggest things but just trying to help> Sometimes kids get lazy and don't wipe well. When my son started helping with laundry and saw what I called "skid marks" in his underwear a few times he was EMBARRASSED and asked why they do that...I reminded him about me asking him to wipe better and it hasn't happened again.

If you rule out reasons and truly think it is laziness, I would make them wear Depends or Pullups or something. That would make me angry to think they were 10/12 years old and were too lazy to go potty...I am sure that it is hard to deal with.

Keep us updated and let us know what works. I have 2 girls coming up and who knows what I will face in the future! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

I had to reply on this one too. We seem to have alot of the same problems. My son, who is 10, still wets the bed at times. He has not wet the bed in about 2 weeks now, he is taking new medications for his ADHD. Before, it was alot to do with the medicine he was on, it would knock him out at night, and he wouldnt wake up to use the restroom. I bought him some depends, and he wore them a few nights, but said he felt like a baby with a diaper on, and he took it upon himself, to set his alarm for 11 every night, to use the restroom. This has helped him alot. Just an idea http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif Good luck

Your daughters are long since old enough to know when they need to use the bathroom and if you are sure it just them not taking the time to stop what they are doing to use the bathroom then they need to learn to be responsible for their behavior. When they wet themselves make them clean up the floor if it gets wet and make them put their clothes in washer and run a load of wash with your supervision. If the carpet gets damp or furniture gets damp make them take care of cleaning it with the carpet cleaner or whatever you use. Make them do it immediately not later in the day. Also you may want to make them take a shower or be sure they wash up thoroughly after each incident. If they wind up having to be responsible for cleaing everything up themselves from the clothes to the furniture I am betting they will decide it takes less time to stop what they are doing and use the bathroom then it does to clean up after themselves. Besides making them clean up after themselves would it possibly help if they had to wear the "good nites" type of disposable underwear designed for older kids who still wet the bed? As for not wiping well after toileting you need to explain that this is going to cause infections which will be very uncomfortable and will require trips to the doctor and medication. If this doesn't work then make an appointment with their doc and let him/her help you with this one. I am wondering though if they would be inclined to do a better job of wiping if they were allowed to use the flushable wet wipes.

You have to invest in one of those removable showerheads attached to a long plastic hose- it would make it easier for them when needing to wash themselves my 3 and a half year old like to spray the soap off herself. I bought mine at home depot cost like $20.

Maybe you should take them to a doctor to see if the incontenence is from an infection or small bladder or from a prolapsed bladder. It could very well be a serious medical condition caused by other things.