hi all! :wave:

i have been binge eating since friday. god, it makes me so depressed, funny thing is i am on a anti depressant, lexapro, i feel fine mentally, i guess. i dont even know how i feel, food numbs me! i have been having chocolate chip pancakes every day, pizza, and other great junk! man weight has went up. god its amaing 3 months ago i was underweight,now like 10 pounds over. help!!! i feel so hopeless, to top it off, this weekend my husband invited his parents over to stay,all weekend, i know they planned this a couple weeks ago, i knew about it, but timing right now is not good. it doesnt help my mother in law and i dont get along so good. :mad: boy, maybe thats why i am eating even more now. just cant stand everything!!!!!!!!!!
:angel:

Hey there
I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time. the thing with the meds (and i am sure that you know this ) is that they are going to take a little while to kick into effect, just make sure that you stick to taking them and your dosage and don't go off them without asking your doc (i tried that with lexapro and was a mess for weeks!)
something that your post actually made me think, as ironic as it is binging and restricting are the same exact thing, they are both ways to deal with feelings and to numb out. the only difference is that one will cause you to go up in weight and one will cause you to go down. the only reason that binging feels so much more out of control and shameful is because of society and its preference for "thinness." think about it, take away the proclivity for thinness and then try to ditinguish between binging and restricting (beyond the obvious things such as eating alot vs. eating nothing) there really isn't much difference. in both cases it comes down to dealing with what is making you turn to or avoid food to comfort and numb you. i don't know, i am sorry i am just rambling, maybe you even thought of this already but it just struck me when you said that food numbs you cause i know that not eating totally numbs me and that is why i do it (or part of the reason at least).
Hang in there, things will get better and they will change, as much as that is hard to believe. Maybe you could ask your husband if his parents could come stay another weekend or if they could maybe stay in a near by hotel in stead of at your house cause you are going through a rough time (i don't know if you feel comfortable asking him this but you definitely have right to!) if that doesn't work maybe plan sometime every day this weekend when you can get away from your mother in law whether it is by yourself or with a friend, a walk or run or shopping or whatever, sometimes just getting away from people you can't stand can help you deal with them better, give you some perspective on the situation.
i hope that this was somewhat helpful, i am sorry to ramble on but just know that we are here for you this weekend so you can always turn to your computer if you really can't deal with your mother in law anymore (or anyone or anything else for that matter!)
Good Luck and stay strong!

thanks carey11,

i agree with the irony in the food area. i did typed my husband an email asking if we could make it another weekend, he will say no, cause i think he thinks i am maybe weak cause i cant deal with anything now, like on easter i couldnt go with to his family. its too hard now. and he doesnt understand that i cant snap out of it for 72 hours just for in laws. trust me when his mom is around i cant do anything no naps no break. nothing. i cant do it. i eat so much though , god, i dunno what to do, i have to make a day to stop it and try to lose this exta weight i put on, i am so unhappy :(
thanks for your time carey11! :angel:

here everyone

so here is my update on all the crap...

first, still cant stop binging..what else is new...

second, husband still doesnt want to talk much about this weekend and his parents coming up to stay 3 days. i explained my feelings about it calm and civilized but he said well i dont know what to say. i did all the talking and then he said he was tired and went to bed last nite. i got no wher ewith it, and tomorrow is friday so looks like i am trapped in hell another weekend with his parents. that does not help my binging or depression. :eek:

Hey there
I'm so sorry that you're having such a hard time. It's a vicious cycle. You don't want to deal with the stress of having your in-laws around (god I understand that), so you binge to cope with the upcoming situation. Then you feel even crappier for binging both mentally and physically, you get depressed, feel miserable, don't want anyone around and keep on binging to numb out. I like what carey11 said about the very small differences between binging and restricting. I think that holds a lot of truth. I don't want to deal with stuff so I restrict. The thing is that it is a lot "easier" to restrict because of the way society is. If I am in a situation where I am uncomfortable I can focus my energy on not eating anything while I'm there. But that looks ok because of the huge push for being thin. Whereas, when you binge it makes it a lot harder to focus energy on that when people are around or a situation is uncomfortable because of all the "shame" that's associated with it.
Am I making any sense?
Well, anyway...my heart goes out to you. And please, like Carey11 said, turn to your computer for solace, if for nothing else, this weekend. At least you did all you could do. Hang in there.
Lauren

thanks guys!

but unfortunately,
i cant even go on comp.. with out her over my shoulder. it is a prison when she is around. and i can only eat to numb those feelings. but when she is here for 3 days. i wont eat, she will make rude remarks. i am so screwed