My daughter has 4 children...twin girls age 5, a girl, Hannah, age 3 and a baby boy 8 months old. Before the baby was born my daughter moved the 3 year old in with her twin sisters. The twins were sleeping in a full sized bed and decided they wanted to go back to twin beds. So last week my daughter moved Hannah, the 3 year old, into a basement bedroom to make more room in the twins bedroom. I have a problem with the three year old being isolated in the basement. She's afraid to sleep down there alone. She has has potty training issues since the baby was born and I think this just sends a message that she's not important in the family. Am I completely off base or what? Any suggestions on how I should handle this? My husband and I went to talk to her about our concerns today and she thinks we're overexaggerating the whole situation.

I would have trouble with a young child in the basement just because if there's a fire she couldn't get out by herself.

My son is now in the basement (which he loves) but he's 9 and knows how to open the window and climb out if he needs to. A young child can't do that.

I hope she listens to reason before something happens. Also, if the child gets sick and is crying can she be heard upstairs??

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Where is your grandson sleeping? We have 2 bedrooms upstairs, one of them is the Master bedroom. When my son was born he slept in a crib in our room then went to the bedroom across the hall. When my daughter was born she also slept in her crib in our room until she was about 2 & 1/2. We kept her in there so long because she was such a light sleeper and we figured our son would wake her up if they shared a room and my son was not ready to go to the downstairs room.

When she was 2&1/2 we put her in our son's room and they shared it for a short time until he decided he would like to sleep downstairs(he was 5).

Is there anyway that your youngest granddaughter could share a room with her brother? Perhaps the twins could use the basement room. It seems odd that your daughter didn't make the older girls continue using the full size bed so that there would be rrom for the 3yr old. Is she truly afraid to sleep down there? if not I would suggest a monitor down there. We used one for my son the first little while because he woke up crying one night and we couldn't hear him. Is it possible to have a bed in her brothers rooms for nights that she gets scared. We have an extra bed(my daughter still uses a toddler bed)in my daughters room and have told my son that if he gets scared he can come up and sleep in there(he never has)because we thought the sound of the water softener might scare him. My son also loves it if one of us lays with him for awhile every once in awhile(we don't make it a nightly habit).

These are just a few suggestions that have worked for us. Good luck!

I know how you feel. We lived in a three bedroom house and the master bedroom wasn't big enough to fit even a small cradle. When my third child was on the way we had plans to make a bedroom in the basement for my oldest who is only 5. After some consideration and pushing by me my husband and I decided against this and moved into a larger house instead. I feel MUCH better about this decision.

There is furniture such as bunk beds and micro beds sold at IKEA. If they really wanted.

Kids need regular daylight from the windows by the sun. The first 5 years are the most important formative years.

Why don't they make the basement a play area and the shared beedroom strictly for sleeeping with bunkbed and micro bed?

Is there mechanical equipment down there how about hidden mold?

[This message has been edited by HeyThere (edited 06-10-2003).]

I think three years old is way too young to be sleeping in a basement room. Most three year olds still prefer to sleep as close to mommy and daddy as possible, if not with them sometimes. My son is four now, and this is still the case. Preschoolers are no longer babies, but they're not yet old enough to not "be babied" sometimes. And three and a half to four is when most children start feeling real fears, like being afraid of the dark, afraid to be left alone, afraid of parental seperation, all of which would come from sleeping in a basement. I would talk to your daughter again, try to make her understand that you're not overexxagerating, you're just trying to prevent a small child from feeling afraid.

-Stefa

I read this thread yesterday and didn't answer. I wish I had because I have been thinking and worrying about it ever since!
Why can't the 5 year old twins sleep in the basement? At least they would be together, or even Hannah and the twins in the basement?
To isolate the 3 year old seems cruel and uncaring. How is your daughters relationship with Hannah?
You sound like very kind and caring grandparents, I just know that you are making Hannah feel 'special' so that she doesn't feel 'left out'
I feel so sorry for Hannah, thank goodness she has you!
Thinking of you. All the best!

Even my 11 yr old tempts the dog to go to the basement with her because she's nervous. (she promises biscuits, the dog falls for it every time). On the other hanr my 8 yr old has no problem going to the basement.
I personally remember being terrified to venture down those dark stairs into the "gloom".
It must be hard for you as your daughter probably feels you are questioning her parenting abiities. I have felt that way about my parents at times.
It is an unusual set up. Surely there is a place for the 3 yr old somewhere upstairs. Even an air matress would be better than the current situation!
I feel for you as you are probably walking on eggshells trying to sort this out.
Best of luck trying to deal with this. If your daughter insists everything is OK keep in mind that the 3 yr old will surely come out of this OK and will not suffer any long term "trauma". Though it may be hard to watch this going on in 10 or so yrs she will be fine I'm sure...Tagger

Thanks for everyone's input about the situation with my granddaughter. I'm pleased that my daughter has moved Hannah back upstairs to her previous room with her twin sisters. She is now sleeping in a small chair that folds out into a bed. It's not ideal, but it's a step in the right direction.

I, for one, am very glad to hear that. It's scary to hear of young kids alone in the basement for sleeping.

Thanks for the update. I've been wondering about it.



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