My husband gets furious at the stupidest things and if I say the slightest thing about anything he turns the anger around to me and brings up things from years ago that he is still angry about. He slams doors throws things etc. we can't have a argument and then make up it gets thrown out of proportion and one little thing turns into a massive fight. I tell him I just want to be able to have a normal argument. He gets stressed over little things like the kids playing too noisy etc. His daughter died unexpectantly in 1997 and since her death he started smoking marijuarna. It has now come to the point that I want him to just have a "cone" as it calms him done and turns him into a "normal person" that every one gets along with. Six months ago he went to a psyciatrist as he wants to get off the mariquana. He was prescribed dexamphetamine for adult ADHD. We can't really tell if the pills are working as he still smokes as it is now a habit and hard to quit. I'm not helping him quit like I should as I'm scared that the pills won't work and I don't have the marijuana there to make everything better again. I want him to be the nice calm person he is when he is stoned but I know this isn't right as he is trying hard to get off it. It has come to the point where I won't let him go anywhere without having a couple cones so everyone has a relaxed day out. I don't know if maybe he should be on anti depressants as I know he also hasn't grieved over his daughters death properly. any advice would be appreciated.

I know the feeling your husband feels. The Marijuana is such an escape and dealing with life without being stoned creates SO much apathy in my head. I am only 20 and I get really irratible when I dont smoke too. Funny enough I have ADD. I honestly have always made a point to smoke when i wake up, smoke mid day, and smoke at night. It keeps the day smooth and it keeps me relaxed. Luckily I have a job that doesn't drug test after pre employment. Its a bad cycle and I know I need to break out of it. The aspect of losing a daughter must make smoking for relief the avenue of choice. I totally understand. Its a catch 22 in a way, smoke to stay happy, but when the high wears off I feel so empty and hopeless. I wish I could offer more advice but I'm stuck in the same position myself. My girlfriend desperatly wants me to quit smoking, but I am stubborn and I know I get moody when I dont.

My husband also gets very angry at the slightest things and alot of days we walk on egg shells around him. Sometimes he yells, throws things and is grouchy and cranky. Sometimes I wish he would just leave but then I think my life would be unhappy without him. I love him and he is a good dad. He had a messed up childhood and has alot of unreloved issues around that. He is 35 and just this year has been trying to talk wiht his mom about all the bad stuff that happened to him and his brother while growing up, but she doesn't want to hear anything about it, (she is a social worker) he has one image of her childrens childhood which to her was great, and they have a complete opposite. He wants to be better and not be so angry but how can he resolve if his mom doesn't want to help.
Is there some kind of counseling I can go to to learn how to handle his "fits", or learn how to help him. He will never go and I probably won't tell him that I want to go.
Our kids love their daddy and mostly he yells at me and the oldest boy not the other 3.