I am sick to my stomach right now. I was planning on coming here this morning and asking for advice on how to tell my wife that I may have exposed her to an STD. This morning however, I couldn't hold it in any longer and after she woke up, I explained to her that I think I may have gotten herpes from having unprotected oral sex with a prostitute about 3 weeks ago. I have a Dr's appointment today, although I don't know if he'll be able to tell me anything. I have symptoms consistent with Herpes, although I have not been doagnosed yet. I also fear the possibility that I may have contracted HIV, although my understanding is that risk is very low when receiving oral sex. I have been with my wife for 20 years and we have 2 beautiful children ages 10 and 5. I really need to talk to someone who has been in my position, or even someone who has been in my wife's position (infected by your husband). I really am feeling very desperate and feel like I have nowhere to turn . Please help.....

Somebody please reply.....

Hi..
IF you contracted herpes through oral sex its most likely its type 1. Type 1 is the kind which most likely effects the mouth and Type 2 is the kind that affects the genitals. Type 2 can occur in the mouth, but its RARE, from what I have read. Type 1 can occur on genitals due to oral sex. Can you ever recall having cold sores/herpes in your life? I may have also contracted it through oral sex as I have NEVER suffered with cold sores on my lips.. therefore I am more likely to get them down there. However its really hard to tell HOW I contracted it.. all I can say is I've never had unprotected sex.

If this is type 1 which you have down below.. don't worry! Type 1 as I understand hardly ever comes back down there, simply because it prefers the mouth. Also you are less likely to pass this on to your wife through unprotected sex than normal genital herpes (type 2). Type 1 is simply a mouth virus and is mostly passed down to the genitals through oral. Out of its territory it loses most of its punch. I think I know some of what you feel as I contracted my herpes, not from my boyfriend of many years, but from a fling. Now I have the problems of how to tell him and how he will accept me.
Take Care

Thanks. Any husbands out there in a similar situation or were in a similar situation?

Hi norcalidiot,

I'm sorry to pry, and I hope the tests come back negative on Friday...but I'm just curious what made you visit a prostitute? I'm by all means not trying to be mean or judgemental, I'm just trying to understand. And what did your wife say when you told her?

Hi norcalidiot,

I'm sorry to pry, and I hope the tests come back negative on Friday...but I'm just curious what made you visit a prostitute? I'm by all means not trying to be mean or judgemental, I'm just trying to understand. And what did your wife say when you told her?

I was drunk and she was there and it was a stupid, stupid, sexual impulse.

So you did that and then came home and slept with your wife? Not to be mean, but was there no part of you that just said, "I should get checked out first" Im really curious to know what your wife said. Im not judging you, hell I cheated without a condom once, but I also didnt have sex and claimed not to be in the mood until I got checked!!!!! I really hope you come back clean and learn from this! That like really breaks my heart, I cheatd on my boyfriend of like 3 months, I feel so bad for your wife, I really hppe this works out for her

THats heavy stuff man. Hope all works out. You just gotta pray your wife can get over it and look past that. You owe her big time though man. However I totally understand making mistakes. Everyone does it, sometimes worse than others but everyone screws up. If your wife loves you she'll feel the same. Lastly, Make sure she knows ALL the facts regarding this issue. Treatment, how it will effect her and show up. Knowledge will replace alot of confusion and anger I feel. Once she knows the facts she can begin to think straight again I am sure! GOOD LUCK, I wanna know how it goes.

Ben

if you gave her oral sex i hope you havnt gave your kids a kiss as in a good night kiss i hope you have learned you lesson on this.

I received oral sex and didn't give it. Not that it helps much, but as soon as I thought I might have had something, I avoided sex with my wife. The doc examined me and so far he sees nothing. So I am being tested and so will my wife, but so far nothing.....