I dont know if you guys remember me from a few months ago, but you guys thought that I might be developing an eating disorder... Well, heres my story..

Well, for the past like 3 years I've felt that I was fat, but it was only recently where it really really affected me. I'm 16, and 5'5". About 6 months ago I weighed 138 lbs, and now I weigh 122 lbs.. Just this past week and a half i've lost 6 lbs. But anyways, about 2 months ago I started watching what I was eating, you know, counting calories. And my diet was to eat 1800 calories a day. Then it eventually went down to 1500.. then 1300.. then 1200.. then 1000.. and now, when I get past 600 calories for the day I start freaking out. I count calories EVERY day, and I weigh myself at least 3 times a day.. Sometimes, from the lack of eating I guess I get really hungry and I don't know what comes over me and I'll come home and eat a lot (well I think its a lot, but my mom doesn't think so..) and then afterwards I'll feel terrible and I'll go exercise for over an hour to burn twice as many calories as I ate... sometimes my total calories after exercising is less than 0... sometimes around 100.. I just.. I feel so fat, and I hate the way that I am.. I would starve myself completely if it wasn't for my friends at school and for my family always questioning what I eat.. sometimes I get in these moods where I feel so fat and I hate myself, and.. sometimes after I eat I cut myself, or think about throwing up or something really bad.. like maybe laxatives or starving myself for a few days.. I used to eat breakfast, a complete lunch at school, a snack after school and then dinner, and my parents didn't think that was too much to eat, and I was around 135 lbs and I was a 'healthy weight' according to the doctors and my friends and family. But now.. I eat breakfast.. something small.. then for lunch i only get an order of fries from school, and I usually don't even eat 1/3 of them and then I throw them away, just so my frien doesnt' worry.. and sometimes I skip dinner.. or just eat a small amount of fruit, like a few pieces of canteloupe.. Could I have an eating disorder? i feel so guilty when I eat.. and i cry and i cut and i do terrible things.. i over exercise sometimes, i even have blisters all over my feet from where i've overexercised these past few days.. i'm not like deathly skinny.. people say i am skinny but i do'nt believe them.. they are probably just lying.. i am so scared of being fat.. another thing, when i was 135 lbs my goal was to weigh 130, then it went down to 125.. then 120.. and now my goal is 115.. it keeps going down and.. i just don't know.. my calories keep going down and my weight goals and my weight.. but i see no results.. i am still fat.. and i just hate myself.. what's wrong with me????? please help.......

Hi, it certainly sounds as though you do have an eating disorder, and i strongly advise you to speak to someone about whats going on straight away. Your family and friends will all be able to offer you support but first you have to make them aware of what is happening. This is an illness & you have nothing to be ashamed about in asking for help. You also need to talk to your doctor who will be able to refer you to a specialist- there is help out there & you dont have to go through this alone.
If you feel you really cant talk to your mother or family you HAVE to still go see your doctor. This wont just go away- but you can take the first step to beating it.
Good luck
Kyle7042

Do you really think it's an eating disorder? *sighs*.... I just dont know anymore.. I don't know how to talk to someone about it.. i'm just.. I don't know waht to do.. what kind of eating disorder is it?