Another friend and I where talking today and she told me about her daughter Melissa, she said since she was 18 mo she has been putting her legs together, looks like holding her breathe and getting really red /purple and sweating and then crying real hard, it look like she was having a orgasm it scared them and they couldn't get her to undo her legs, this is how they found out she has been doing this, they heard her crying and thought she was hungry or needed to be changed. Now her daughter is 4 and is still doing this, she will take and put her legs together, hold her hands almost like in a prayer and sweat, groan and moan and looks like go into an orgasms again. They ask if any one has sexually abused her, or where she learned this, she said no one taught her this and she did it because it felt good between her legs.
Is this normal? I know children, will masturbate when they start touching their selves and know it feels good to them. But to start so young? And do it the way she does? They say she hold her breathe until she can't and starts humping up and down, moaning and groaning. Does Melissa need some help?
Is something wrong we they don't know of. yes spoke to a Dr the peditrictan he called it straining a form or materbation. What's every ones opinion please?
shoould they keep letting her do it if it's or seems to not hurt her? or stop her and how?
thank you.
Kat1966.

I've never heard of that -- especially in a child so young. Very odd. Have you asked any other people who are not online?

curious one,
yes, very odd to me to. :(
no, I wasn't sure where to post this.... or would be o.k. to post it.
Can you tell me which form on here would be best? The mental fourm perhaps?
I am a lost, the Peditrtian said it's normal I, don't think so...
Thank you so much for your post, help and concern, it's appreciated greatly.
I wonder if some one could have taught her this?
Thanks again.
Kat1966.

Thank you, thank you to the person whom helped me. I am so sorry I don't remember your name so I can thank you properly.
I appreciate it and I know Melissa's parents will to. (Besides being relief that what she is doing is nothing harmful to her .
Kat1966.

Hi Kat,

Well, I see the responses are not pouring in... ...I am a mom and I tried to put myself in your shoes (or her parents shoes) and this is what I think I would do.

Were it me, I would wait for the the next time she does it and I would have a friendly conversation with her about it. I would gently ask questions (again) like:

What are you doing honey? Oh, it feels good? Where does it feel good? Sometimes when you do that, your face looks like it actually hurts -- do you know why your body gets so stiff -- like it's frozen? Do you do this when you are at __________? Do any of your friends do that to feel good? What about anybody in our family -- do you know anybody else who likes to feel good in the same way?

Then, if I was satisfied with all of the answers (which would hopefully tell me that she was not abused or taught to do that by an adult) I would go to stage two: (and this is MY opinion and MY practice and just a suggestion)

Sweetie, you know your body is your body it is perfectly okay for you to make yourself feel good and I want you to remember that making our bodies feel good like that is something we do in private -- like in your bedroom or in the bathroom when you are by yourself.

Keep breathing and keep being a great protector of her!!

curious,
thank you thank you and (((((HUGS)))) I will suggest this to her parents and I know they will appreciate it.... I am sure it will help her parents...
I appreciate your post, help and you caring so much!
that's why I love this board so much the people are so helpful and don't critizie and they really care...
((((HUGS))) again.
I'll keep you posted..
take care,
Kat1966.

I spoke to my friend today and she said Melissa was masturbating again. She let her finish her business this was right after lunch she was going to put her down for a nape she was quite fisty and fussy, she was really sweaty so she gave Melissa a bath and spoke to her she asked again when she awaken from her nape some of the questions you suggested she asked and she knows 100% that Melissa was not molested or raped or harm in any way. She explained to her that she needs to do this in private only and what she is doing is not wrong. She will be fine. ( one day she started doing this in the car and her mom said, Melissa said she needed to do it, real bad, well Melissa was quite cranky until they got home. But quite fine...
Thank you Curious and the other person who helped me and Melissa's mom and dad wanted me to say big thanks to both of you for your help and suggestions they are greatly appreciated.
take care, and again thank you,
Kat1966

Orgasms in very young children are common. Babies and toddlers play with themselves all the time. If u see them doing it let them but it would be ideal to tell them to 'play with themselves' in private

I spoke to my friend today and she said Melissa was masturbating again. She let her finish her business this was right after lunch she was going to put her down for a nape she was quite fisty and fussy, she was really sweaty so she gave Melissa a bath and spoke to her she asked again when she awaken from her nape some of the questions you suggested she asked and she knows 100% that Melissa was not molested or raped or harm in any way. She explained to her that she needs to do this in private only and what she is doing is not wrong. She will be fine. ( one day she started doing this in the car and her mom said, Melissa said she needed to do it, real bad, well Melissa was quite cranky until they got home. But quite fine...
Thank you Curious and the other person who helped me and Melissa's mom and dad wanted me to say big thanks to both of you for your help and suggestions they are greatly appreciated.
take care, and again thank you,
Kat1966

Hey Kat,

I just saw this -- didn't realize you had updated. I am so glad to hear that everything is working out just fine. Tell Melissa's mom I said "Great job, Mom!" and "You're very welcome!" Take care,

Cindy

Yes some toddlers do masterbate, but they don't cry afterwards. You might want to bring this up to her pediatrician, especially the part where she cries. That would have me concerned. It sound like she might have pain. It could also be that the diaper is too balky and uncomfortable.

As the last post said...i am curious about why she cries after too. I totally would bring this up to her pediatrician. How do you know she is masterbating? Are her hands down there, touching herself? Or is she just squeezing her legs together. I think you said her hands were folded or in prayer position. Then how do you know she is masterbating? I guess she says that feels good though. I dont know....i do know kids masterbate.....but this throws me for a loop. Hope she finds out what is going on.

I just wanted to add that my niece used to do this ever since I can remember. I thought it was odd myself because i had never heard of it. We know for a fact she was not sexually molested or abused. She would do the exact same thing you said, except she didn't cry afterwards. I don't know if my sister ever asked the doctor about it. I do know she did this from about 9 mths until well into her toddler years. She may still do it and we just don't know (she's 13 now).

This is a very touchy subject (no pun intended).
My opinion is that yes I would find out by asking her why or where she learned this. Then I would tell her its NOT ok. Why let a 4 year old continue this? I mean this is just too young to be saying its ok to please your body and make it feel good.
I don't know I just think that its NOT a good idea to entertain her by telling her its ok to do this....

Please don't attack me for my opinions. I realize I am the only one that has posted that I find it wrong but I also stated that it was my opinion. thank you.

I too would be concerned about encouraging it to continue, only because I would worry about how is the child going to get through school and adulthood with this constant need if it does not go away? It is a tough subject though because you would not want to tell her it is wrong and later on she might have some emotional problems with it. It would be great to find a way of discouraging it without making her feel bad about it. It is definitely a sensitive and difficult situation.

I know a little girl who does similar actions. She turned two earlier this year and she has been 'playing' with herself since she was about 18 months old aswell. She only does it if she is laying down and she also puts her hands between her legs, goes stiff and red in the face. If anyone chastises her, she starts to cry. She often does this before she goes to sleep but she also does throughout the day. As I work with this child, I have found it very difficult to raise the topic with her parents, although they have mentioned it to me a few times. This is an odd situation and I'm quite sure there is no abuse involved at home or anywhere else. I have no suggestions on what to do about this problem either and because the child is so young, it could get a bit tricky.

since this actually started at 18 months I would wonder if she didn't start to do this to actually disquiet some sort of a feeling she was having.as in in some sort of a pain or really off type of a sensation in either the vagina or lower abdomen??It just all seems a little too strange to be something "normal"???Do you know what I am trying to say??It just seems more of a "reactionary"type of thing to do to try and counter something that she is actually feeling.Has this child ever been to a pediatric gyn?if this were my child, I think i would want to go a little more 'in depth" to try and rule out any actual medical issue.This just does not seem like a normal occurance to me.espescially given that she actually cries afterwards.While crying can be an emotional sort of a release, it can also be from pain.if there really IS some valid reason for this it would be better to find out sooner rather than later.Just my opinion.Marcia

Its odd for babies to do it, not 4 year olds..
Its odd how she does it also..holding her breath and moaning and stuff :/
I mean ive heard of 4 year olds touching their parts because it feels nice, but i dunno about what you've described :eek: