taximom
05-24-2005, 10:28 AM
first I have to say that reading these post has made a huge difference in my life. I usually have trouble falling asleep (when most of my panic attacks occur, not to mentin the herky jerky fellings). this past week I haven't had any.
I think just knowing that so may others have mnay of the same symptoms that I have, makes such a difference. my biggest anxiety problem ( I still have many anxiety attacts) now is my Health. I just finished a complete physical, I feel he must have missed something, I too have gone through many many test and they all come up negative. Although I basiclly feel ok health wise, every little twinge, sore muscle, headache, lump and bump is fatal to me. How I can I get through this?? medical websites are my favorite.
My husband is absolutely no help at all. he thingks I'm nuts( and a hypochondriac) My 15 yr old daughter is a big help, but I try so hard to get away from her when I am going to have an attack.
should I go back to the DR? I am afraid he will get mad at me. any advise??
I think just knowing that so may others have mnay of the same symptoms that I have, makes such a difference. my biggest anxiety problem ( I still have many anxiety attacts) now is my Health. I just finished a complete physical, I feel he must have missed something, I too have gone through many many test and they all come up negative. Although I basiclly feel ok health wise, every little twinge, sore muscle, headache, lump and bump is fatal to me. How I can I get through this?? medical websites are my favorite.
My husband is absolutely no help at all. he thingks I'm nuts( and a hypochondriac) My 15 yr old daughter is a big help, but I try so hard to get away from her when I am going to have an attack.
should I go back to the DR? I am afraid he will get mad at me. any advise??
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malibu82
05-24-2005, 10:52 AM
Hi taximom, I know exactly what you are going through. Please go back to your doctor if you are still wracked with worry. I'm like part of the furniture in my doctors surgery but sometimes you need that extra bit of reassurance to let you get on with things.
I'm the same about my health. Every little thing must be terminal. Anything out of the ordinary and I automatically think I have got cancer and nothing can reassure me that I haven't until I get total reassurance from a doctor, or until another worry overtakes the first worry!
You probably know yourself that looking up symptoms is a bad idea. I have done it thousands of times and only ever made myself feel worse. You never get any reassurance looking up things on the internet. For every good thing there always seems to be 10 bad things.
Its a shame that your husband can't support you more. He probably doesn't understand. It can be hard for my partner to understand as well. He says he knows I'm fine so why can't I please stop worrying and enjoy live? Its so easy said isn't it?
It is so good that your daughter is there to support you. Let her help you like you would help her if she had a problem. You obviously have a good mother/daughter relationship, you should be proud of yourself for that.
I probably haven't been much help as I am in exactly the same boat as you, but just thought I would give you my support. xx
I'm the same about my health. Every little thing must be terminal. Anything out of the ordinary and I automatically think I have got cancer and nothing can reassure me that I haven't until I get total reassurance from a doctor, or until another worry overtakes the first worry!
You probably know yourself that looking up symptoms is a bad idea. I have done it thousands of times and only ever made myself feel worse. You never get any reassurance looking up things on the internet. For every good thing there always seems to be 10 bad things.
Its a shame that your husband can't support you more. He probably doesn't understand. It can be hard for my partner to understand as well. He says he knows I'm fine so why can't I please stop worrying and enjoy live? Its so easy said isn't it?
It is so good that your daughter is there to support you. Let her help you like you would help her if she had a problem. You obviously have a good mother/daughter relationship, you should be proud of yourself for that.
I probably haven't been much help as I am in exactly the same boat as you, but just thought I would give you my support. xx
michaeldallas
05-24-2005, 11:39 AM
Hi Malibu, I would love to talk to you about health anxiety--mine came on about a month ago, convinced I am HIV positive. Things are getting better, but I tend to self diagnose based on symptoms, and it is tearing me up inside--my wife is probably starting to think im crazy. I have had every symptom in the book--sweating, aches, pains, achy joints, sore throat, sore lymph nodes, trembling, loss of appetite, shaky, sharp pains throughout my body at random times, etc. I am still concerned, but after reading a number of posts, I am starting to feel like it might be in my head. But, like I said, still worried!!!!!!!!! Have you ever experienced this?
Michael
Michael
malibu82
05-24-2005, 12:27 PM
Hey michaeldallas, I'm like that all the time! I have had countless symptoms and every time I think it is something terminal. The very first thing I seriously worried about, like you, was HIV. I was convinced I had it. That was 2 years ago and I have been on a health anxiety roller coaster since then!
I have had every symptom that you mentioned. Even when I start to get it under control and start to realise that a certain symptom is just down to anxiety I still really worry. Its like it never leaves me.
I would be glad to talk to you any time about it. x
I have had every symptom that you mentioned. Even when I start to get it under control and start to realise that a certain symptom is just down to anxiety I still really worry. Its like it never leaves me.
I would be glad to talk to you any time about it. x
michaeldallas
05-24-2005, 02:19 PM
Hi Malibu, thank you so much for the reply. I think I have started to realize that it could be due to anxiety, but like you said, it still worries me constantly. The sore throat, painful nodes, sharp pains all over, that is what really freaks me out. It is starting to really control my life, and I cant have that. So you had all of these symptoms? Were you ever in a position to possibly contract HIV, or was it completely in your head? Please let me know when you get a chance, like I said, I would love to discuss further, it really helps.
Thanks,
Michael
Thanks,
Michael
crazygirl77
05-24-2005, 02:33 PM
Hi Michael-
I had to reply to you b/c your situation sounds so much like mine did. I had a very risky partner (multiple times unprotected) about 10 years ago. I was convinced i had HIV. I had the shooting pains in my lymph nodes (but they werne't swollen) shooting pains all over my body, mouth sores, so many other things. I lived in fear for 10 years. I finally went and had a test-negative. I was so relieved. However, I have moved on to other diseases-I now think that I have MS. MS is a little more difficult than HIV to rule out...so when my neuro tells me my MRI is 93% assurance that I don't have MS I find that hard to believe...it sucks. But just wanted to tell you that you're not alone!!!
I had to reply to you b/c your situation sounds so much like mine did. I had a very risky partner (multiple times unprotected) about 10 years ago. I was convinced i had HIV. I had the shooting pains in my lymph nodes (but they werne't swollen) shooting pains all over my body, mouth sores, so many other things. I lived in fear for 10 years. I finally went and had a test-negative. I was so relieved. However, I have moved on to other diseases-I now think that I have MS. MS is a little more difficult than HIV to rule out...so when my neuro tells me my MRI is 93% assurance that I don't have MS I find that hard to believe...it sucks. But just wanted to tell you that you're not alone!!!
michaeldallas
05-24-2005, 02:44 PM
Thank you crazygirl, that is reassuring. It has been a massive roller coaster. I literally have had every symptom in the book, and the pains in the glands, muscle aches, sore throat, all scare the hell out of me!!! I had one encounter--protected the entire time, except for about 10 seconds when the protection slipped off. I am hopeful that my 10 seconds of unprotected did not seal my fate. Thank you for your reply, I sincerely appreciate it!!!
Michael
Michael
taximom
05-25-2005, 12:13 AM
ok so now i have this health anxiety, so you know I have a fear of dying, and that leads to that "sign thing" where you takes things and mold them somehow to mean the worst for you. so...anywho, my daughter is great and yes we do have a good relationship (she still kisses me good bye and says she loves me everyday which I think is special for a teenager) I pick her up from school today and she says "hey Mom they were giving out free books at school today" and guess what one of them is. Be Not Afraid!!! The whole book ia about overcoming your fear of dying and living your life anxiety free. so, now, is this a sign????? I am afraid to read it. Is it gonna help? or make things worse. Has ANYONE read this book????
malibu82
05-25-2005, 06:31 AM
Hey michael, in reply to your question about why I was scared I had HIV, I had unprotected sex one time on holiday. I felt so stupid and scared afterwards. I didn't know the first thing about the guy and it just all went from there. I read about your exposure and you have practically zero change of having HIV. It is a lot harder for a woman to transmit HIV to a man than the other way round, especially from a 10 second exposure. She would have to have had a cut in her vagina (which is unlikely) and then pass it into your blood stream. I know this probably doesn't make you feel better but I have found out quite a lot about HIV and I wouldn't think for a minute that you have it.
I have definitely had all the symptoms you say and about 100 more added on to that!! Your not alone.
Hey crazygirl I'm so sorry that you are now scared you have MS, its probably one of the worst things to be afraid of as it is so hard to give a diagnosis and no one can put your mind at rest straight away. Please find reassurance in the fact that your neuro has given 93% assurance that you don't have it. Thats almost as good as saying that you definitely don't have it. Its as good as it gets with something like MS.
I friend of mine, who like us has health anxiety issues, was scared she had MS even though it was quite obvious to everyone else that she had nothing to be worried about. She went to the doctor looking for reassurance, but with the nature of MS being what it is the doctor could not tell her if her fears were true. Even though he suspected she didn't have it he would not give her an answer and sent her for loads of other tests. Even after all that all the specialist could tell her was that he would think the symptoms she presented were not symptomatic of MS. Not very reassuring eh? So its not just you. x
I have definitely had all the symptoms you say and about 100 more added on to that!! Your not alone.
Hey crazygirl I'm so sorry that you are now scared you have MS, its probably one of the worst things to be afraid of as it is so hard to give a diagnosis and no one can put your mind at rest straight away. Please find reassurance in the fact that your neuro has given 93% assurance that you don't have it. Thats almost as good as saying that you definitely don't have it. Its as good as it gets with something like MS.
I friend of mine, who like us has health anxiety issues, was scared she had MS even though it was quite obvious to everyone else that she had nothing to be worried about. She went to the doctor looking for reassurance, but with the nature of MS being what it is the doctor could not tell her if her fears were true. Even though he suspected she didn't have it he would not give her an answer and sent her for loads of other tests. Even after all that all the specialist could tell her was that he would think the symptoms she presented were not symptomatic of MS. Not very reassuring eh? So its not just you. x
Tiggerredz
05-25-2005, 10:41 AM
Taximom I know what you are going through and it is so hard. Many people shy away from talking about this topic I have noticed. I am trying to cope with my nephew telling me that I was going to die in 2006. So everyday I think about this. We talked before about the sign thing, and it is hard to understand. I wonder if these signs are around all of the time and we are so tuned into them because we are always dwelling on this topic? Seems like some people think about health, HIV, MS, and we think about death. Last night while I was sleeping I would wake up every few hours to think about death and dying and it stinks! I try and rationalize to myself that people who are this aware of death aren't going to suffer some deathly accident? Like you I dwell on the signs, what is really a sign and what isn;t. I ask God all of the time for somethige else to reassure me. Coincedence or not, some believe in those, some do not. I guess only time will tell...
michaeldallas
05-25-2005, 11:32 AM
Thank you Malibu for the reassurance, I sincerely appreciate it. But HIV is also contained in vaginal fluids, so there is still that chance, which scares me. I think what scares me the most is the timing of me getting these "symptoms" and the sore throat and lymph node pain. Did you have those? Please let me know, talking this through with someone who has been through it is a huge help.
Tiggerredz
05-25-2005, 06:17 PM
Michaldallas, I just went through thinking my lymph nodes were swollen. I had one on the back of my ear and the docter said I probably had a sore on my head, and I did. But I was constantly touching the back of my neck and my lymph node became swollen and hurt.
michaeldallas
05-25-2005, 06:24 PM
I might be doing the same. I do think one is a bit swollen on my throat, but that is probably from the sore throat. I was convinced that my lymph nodes in my groin were swollen. My armpits werent swollen, but there was some pain. I dont know, I think i am having a nervous breakdown.
malibu82
06-01-2005, 11:32 AM
Hi michael, sorry I didn't reply, was off on holiday for a few days.
I had the symptoms you mention at the same time after exposure as you. I had swollen glands, sore throat, heavy flu like cold, diarrohea. I had it all!
Have you tried the HIV discussion board on here? It is very helpful. So many people have been through the same symptoms and worse and have all came back negative.
I hope you are getting on OK. x
I had the symptoms you mention at the same time after exposure as you. I had swollen glands, sore throat, heavy flu like cold, diarrohea. I had it all!
Have you tried the HIV discussion board on here? It is very helpful. So many people have been through the same symptoms and worse and have all came back negative.
I hope you are getting on OK. x
michaeldallas
06-01-2005, 12:20 PM
Hey Malibu, thank you for your reassurance. I have been to the HIV board, and it is helpful. I went to the doctor on Friday and he said that it was anxiety related. I went ahead and tested for HIV and it came back negative. The problem is, it was only 28 days after possible exposure. I have read conflicting opinions on the testing period. One doctor told me that almost everyone that is positive will test positive by 2-4 weeks after exposure, while the CDC says 13 weeks is the gold standard. So now, im confused as to whether or not my negative test really means anything? I have also heard that the average time it takes to show is 22 days. Any thoughts on this? Thanks again for getting back to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Michael
Michael
Khenkels
06-01-2005, 12:44 PM
Thought I would join in on this conversation. I have anxiety - just not sure if it is from AD or just PA or GAD. One doctor says I have AD, the other is just treating me for PA and GAD. Not doing a very good job, but then I guess I havent taken the medicine very well, as I have not accepted the diagnosis very well.
Anyway, I too have many of the symptoms you describe, and always feel there has to be some other explanation. I think mine are (and started) after I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. So now, every twitch is....is IT back. Horrible way to live....I want to be happy and live worry free. I have a 6 year old that I do not want to be plagued by my problems.
Good luck everyone!
Anyway, I too have many of the symptoms you describe, and always feel there has to be some other explanation. I think mine are (and started) after I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. So now, every twitch is....is IT back. Horrible way to live....I want to be happy and live worry free. I have a 6 year old that I do not want to be plagued by my problems.
Good luck everyone!
malibu82
06-02-2005, 11:46 AM
Hi Khenkels, I really feel for you.
It must be horrible since you actually DID have something to worry about and there's this deep rooted fear that it will come back. Its not a nice way to live.
I too would love to be happy and worry free. It feels like it will never happen doesn't it? I sometimes look at other people and think, how do they manage to be so happy when I feel the way I do? I wish you the best of health.
Michael, sorry but I don't know much about the testing of HIV. I know that you are supposed to get tested at 3 months and then again at 6 months (with 3 months being a conclusive reading for most people.) I do think though that a negative at 28 days is a very good sign, especially since so many people get first symptoms a few weeks after exposure.
That along with your very low risk of catching it in the first place, I would take reassurance in this. I would not think for one minute that you have HIV.
None of your symptoms are exclusive to HIV. HIV has no set symptoms, just related illnesses later on in the disease. EVERYONE in the world at some point could worry they had HIV if they kept track of all the different little colds, swollen glands, throat infections, soreheads etc that they get.
I have read of people on the other forum who had a possible risky exposure and have had all sorts of symptoms; swollen lymph nodes, constant colds, frequent yeast infections, herpes, shingles, everything you can think of..... and none of them tested positive.
It must be horrible since you actually DID have something to worry about and there's this deep rooted fear that it will come back. Its not a nice way to live.
I too would love to be happy and worry free. It feels like it will never happen doesn't it? I sometimes look at other people and think, how do they manage to be so happy when I feel the way I do? I wish you the best of health.
Michael, sorry but I don't know much about the testing of HIV. I know that you are supposed to get tested at 3 months and then again at 6 months (with 3 months being a conclusive reading for most people.) I do think though that a negative at 28 days is a very good sign, especially since so many people get first symptoms a few weeks after exposure.
That along with your very low risk of catching it in the first place, I would take reassurance in this. I would not think for one minute that you have HIV.
None of your symptoms are exclusive to HIV. HIV has no set symptoms, just related illnesses later on in the disease. EVERYONE in the world at some point could worry they had HIV if they kept track of all the different little colds, swollen glands, throat infections, soreheads etc that they get.
I have read of people on the other forum who had a possible risky exposure and have had all sorts of symptoms; swollen lymph nodes, constant colds, frequent yeast infections, herpes, shingles, everything you can think of..... and none of them tested positive.
michaeldallas
06-02-2005, 12:30 PM
Thanks Malibu, I appreciate your thoughts. I really dont think I have HIV anymore--it is just on some days, some pain, some thought, it can creep back into your mind and take over, you know? I am going to get retested im sure. The only thing I keep getting now really are these strange headaches. Not all over my head, but in one spot--behind my eye, my forehead, back of head, etc. Usually they are brief and not too bad. They freak me out though. My doc put me on Lexapro, which hopefully will help. Thanks again, talk to you soon.
Michael
Michael
mbarwiko
06-02-2005, 12:55 PM
Hello Michael Dallas! I just wanted to check on you and let you know I read your posts when I find them. I'm glad you are negative and that you are going to get retested. I am too this month. I know it's scary and even though I know the people I was with, and they are all reassuring me that they are negative, I still worry! I am pestering them to no end. It's just the thought of them not knowing for sure you know? Well anyhow, I got al ittle cold this weekend and I almost lost my voice last night. I'm sure these are not signs of exposure to HIV after six weeks of my last encounter. There has been a lot of people sick lately and it might be allergies. I was around cats all weekend. The exposure I am worried about the most happened two months ago. And I tested at two months exactly after that exposure and I was negative. So that kind of puts me at ease. You and me are so worried about this! I know it's driving me nuts too. I think a three month test will solve our problems. It's the wait that kills us and causes more symptoms. I swear I got sick just because I was around sick people and just being stressed causes you to get sick too! Write soon!
michaeldallas
06-02-2005, 01:06 PM
hey there mbarwiko, i thought you ditched me!!! Im glad things are going well. I will get retested soon as well. One doc that I have been corresponding with back and forth keeps saying that the vast majority--95%--will sero-converty within 2-4 weeks, which makes me feel better. So much conflicting info on the net! What was your incident/exposure 2 months ago? Write back soon!!!!!!!
Michael
Michael
michaeldallas
06-02-2005, 04:32 PM
My doc keeps saying that almost everyone who is going to test positive will do so by 4 weeks, and 97% by 6 weeks. I hope he is right! Im sure we are both going to be fine. When my encounter happened, I didnt think much of it for a day or two, then got panicked! Yes, im in dallas, you? Write back!
ms_mod
06-02-2005, 05:18 PM
It's fine to post about health anxiety over a possible exposure to HIV.
But please don't post the details of the encounter that is causing you the anxiety.
Posting the how, when and where is not needed on this board.
Thanks, ms_mod
But please don't post the details of the encounter that is causing you the anxiety.
Posting the how, when and where is not needed on this board.
Thanks, ms_mod