My grandma died a year ago, when I see something that reminds me of her I start bawling. I miss her so much!
I lived with her for 4 years helped nurse her back to health.
I was right by her side holding her hand when she died.
Will this easier?

Hello - I just recently lost my Grandmother in November. She was 96 yrs old was really just existing, but I still miss being able to kiss her and talk to her, even if she didn't respond. I think the hurt will always be there, but it does get easier to bear. When I start feeling sad, I just remember the good times and it helps. It also helps to talk to someone about your feelings. A lot of the time my family will just sit around and share stories. Hang in there:)

or friend. ((((((((((((((((((((((((((*big tedddy bear* Hugs*))))))))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry to all who's lost a dear loved one or friend in here. ((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) )))))to all of you.
I have been there. I lost my grandfather in 1983 great grandma, my grannys mom in 1989 months apart. Then my dad's brother, my uncle in Septemer and then his sister in November 2004.
I lost my girl dog Piggy Pie in September 2001 then mom's little man in December 26-2001 ... I still cry over them and get depressed but it's better.
If you find out your still depressed - please try St Johns wort, it's the best... you can get it at the groery store walmart, walgreens, and will help with your depresssion - please take care of yourself, your deserve to be healthy and happy...
take are and please take are of yourself.
(((((HUGS)))))))))) kat1966.

Thank you for your words of advice and comfert.
It was the first time I ever lost somone close to me so this is all new and scary.
I've lost meny pets birds, cats,dog, fish, turtle, rabbit.... you get the point.
My grandma and I had a LOT of great times. and few bad times but thats usual.
Thanks again.

I totally understand. I lost my grandparents in 2004 (Grandpa Feb & Grandma Aug) this is the first time I have lost anyone too.

Its been abuot a year and it's just now hitting me. HUGS

Hi--I lost my grandmother two months ago, and my godfather four years ago. I get dreams sometimes. For instance, I saw my godfather happily driving the car he got killed in, or contentedly walking around on his legs which were crushed in the crash. Then, I dreamt about my grandmother, also driving her car, which she had not been able to do in about 18 months before she died. She was flooring it, just the way she used to love to drive. Does anybody else get dreams? They feel very comforting to me; so much so that I've started to consider death to just be another transition in life that one must learn to overcome in order to move on to the afterlife. I feel like there are no dreams deferred in "heaven".

I often dream about both of my Grandmothers. It is very comforting as I feel it is their way of letting me know that things are going to be okay. I know that they both love me and don't want me to be sad for them because they are in a better place. They can both walk again, talk, hear and see. Now I just focus on living right so I will be able to see them again. :)

Thanks for your confirmation. I feel the same way--that they don't want us to spend our time feeling badly for their passing; that they just want us to enjoy the life they helped us to have in the first place. Thanks!

my Grandma comes and visits me in my dream. not as much as I would like but when she does it's wonderful. we hug for a long time. and talk, and sometimes we dance (we use to love to dance) I hate when It's time for her to go.

I just recently visited my grandmother's older sister (85). She says she's not long for this world, either. What amazes me is that she says my grandmother's presence visits her in the physical world in the middle of the night, once a week. Always sitting in the same place, always the same swivel of the head as she turns to look at her older sister. That made me think that our loved ones can't visit us all the time--because they're busy taking care of so many of their own loved ones. I'll bet that if we called everyone who was close to our loved ones, and they all reported having visits, we would realize that our beloved relatives are always out there, always protecting, always guiding, and can't be in all places at the same time. What do you think?

Down and out,

I am so sorry and like all the others understand totally what you’re going thru now. I have lost many in my family over the years but this past year was the roughest with grandma first then mom and last dad. They all were unfortunately ill for a long time. It is so hard to say how long it may take for you to feel better. For many it helps to have a firm belief in God and some kind of afterlife or heaven. With this we can find some peace in knowing that they are happy and will be there happily waiting for us one day again.

I find that others have posted dreams they have had. I have had some too. I have had dreams of being on picnics with so many who I loved who passed. It was so beautiful and real at the time.


Hbosch,

Your story about your great aunt sounds like many in my family. I started a thread here a short wile ago called “Visions before they passed???” I think it's on the next page. It describes something like that.

God bless and peace to all of you at this difficult time.

JohnD

JohnDiv--Thanks for the reference to the other thread. I read it and can't believe you are going through so much chaos right now. I hope that these boards are helping you feel a part of a community that cares. I hope you can hold on to your house and your health. Even though you do not have health care, shouldn't your state offer something to those who cannot afford it?...or do they have to become indigent first? Regarding the caregiving, I did it for 12 years alone for my grandmother, but she was able to fight enough to keep walking, wash and clothe herself, and even cook occasionally. It was when she couldn't do those things (in her last year), that my mother finally came to help out. I haven't had to experience caring for a bedridden person for multiple years, but I have a pretty good sense of the exhaustion you're feeling. It helps me to know that I would not have changed doing a single thing for her, because it gave us the opportunity to bond like never before. I know of no other reason for being alive than to help others get through life with us, and enjoy the time spent with them.

Regarding the visions...my aunt said she sees her husband now, too. He passed away about 15 years ago. I wonder if these mean that she is going soon, too. She mentioned them to others and they told her that, as long as the visions don't talk to you, then you're not going to go right away. These are silent, which is why I consider them to be caregivers in a way. Thanks.

Down and Out--keep dancing with your grandmother in your dreams. You're so lucky to see her so often. Maybe she spends so much time with you because she knows how hurt you are, and she's trying to lift your spirits by doing those things you used to enjoy together.

:( it sucks. my nana died in december and im still crying all the time. like its so hard cuz i took care of her and she was supposed to live w/ us. we made an addition but she never got to live in it. im living downstairs now in her part of the house. i am so sad right now. im like crying and stuff:(

it sucks. my nana died in december and im still crying all the time. like its so hard cuz i took care of her and she was supposed to live w/ us. we made an addition but she never got to live in it. im living downstairs now in her part of the house. i am so sad right now. im like crying and stuff

Keep crying. It will help to heal you. If this is your first major loss, it will take quite a few months of crying. If you don't cry, your hurt inside will impair your judgement while living your life. I'm sure your nana would not want you to make bad decisions, especially after having loved you so much since you were born. I used the private time afforded by the healthboards to cry for three weeks. I still cry sometimes. You might find it helpful to schedule some time with a family member to talk about your grandmother: what you used to do with her, how she made you feel better in different situations... If you verbalize with someone else in person, it will make her feel closer to you, not farther away. As a close friend once told me, if you think you're far from the loved one who passed, just remember that all of those years of being together made him or her a part of you--so, as long as you use the skills and lessons she taught you, you will be living with her in your heart forever. *****hugs*****

Janette215,

I am with hbosch on this one too. She still lives in you. Really I am older than you I bet but have found in time that life is so precious. It is not just a gift because we live but because we are touched by those who mean sooo much to us and share our lives and love with. They mold us and form us into the beautiful people we are. This incredibly makes us so different than any other living thing on this planet You feel so bad but those feelings come from her heart and others still blessing you everyday. How lucky you have been and how proud you should be that you were given her and the others to touch and bless your life. I am sure she is still watching over you and always will. Believe me I understand. It would have never hurt you had she never came into your life. Yet she did and you are you because of it!!! I do sometimes find comfort in this too though.

Sincerest sympathies and prayers.

JohnD

I miss my Husbands Grandmother a lot too. In just the few years that I had known her, she made me feel like I was the most special person in the world to her, she really made everyone feel loved. It was odd the day that she passed, a white dove showed up in the back yard of the house that she passed in, no one had every seen it before. It stayed there for about 4 days after she passed, it just circled and landed in the yard, even though there were lots of cats about. Its funny because everytime I see a white dove flying about now, I get the feeling she is near, I have the most wonderful memories of her just flash by. So find something that will remind you of a good memory, and take comfort that they are in a good place and are patiently waiting for us to join them.