Relationship issues plunged me into a state of severe depression. I have been on lexapro for a little over one year. I have for the most part felt pretty good. I have no support dealing with the depression. My husband wants nothing to do with it or me. That is what triggered the depression. He has said so many mean things about me, to me that I don't think I can get over the hurt his words caused me. He is not sorry for what he has said. I have kids that need my help financally so I can't leave. Living here is painful, we are like strangers living in the same space. Because as he puts it, it works out well financally for us. Every time I look at him I remember what he said, and how he feels about me. How do I get over this so I can feel better about me. And remain in the same house?

vetta

i'm terribly sorry for you. i know what your going through. i had the same issues with my ex-husband. he could be very mean and heartless with the things he would say to me about myself. and it was all about the depressed person in me. i HAD to get away from him! no other possibility.

you need an enviroment of care and support, not someone trashing you and bringing you down all the time. what he is doing is abuse, no doubt about it.
if he wont seek counseling, seperate until he will. look into getting a job, and maybe if he sees your serious about him working on his bad attitude he might straighten up and find out what this is all about for you. just my thoughts.

Hi Nothisprincess, thanks for the advice. No chance of him going to counseling. Others can see he has issues, but he just doesn't care, he is happy with how he is. I do have a job, but pretty much all of my money goes towards helping my kids out. One of my kids would manage with out the help, the other wouldn't just yet. They both tell me to move out, but if I do I will not be able to help them out. And right now knowing if I go to work every day I can help them out, is the only thing that keeps me going. The husband wants nothing to do with me, and yet when I told him it was time to end this, he says that's fine with him, but did I realize that the kid I help out might have to move back in? I know that the kid would never move back in with him. His issuses have altered the way the kids feel about him. He knows that and doesn't care. The one thing I could do but don't know if it would make any difference is to move into one of the kids bedrooms. And see if that would help how I feel about being here. Sorry this is so long, but I have alot of things I am feeling, and no one to talk to.

Hi Vetta :wave:

Living with someone so unsupportive and abusive towards you would make the strongest person delve into depression. Your situation is very unhealthy. If your husband refuses to get help, there is onely one thing that you can do, is to get yourself help, and get yourself outta there! :eek:
I do understand that you have your children that you help out as well, and that is what keeps you going right now, but there are other ways that you could help them out with not having to endure the abuse that your husband is putting you through. You do not deserve this, you are a good person (even if i don't know you, i can still sense this), and you need to take care of you.
Even your children see that this is not a healthy environment for you to be in. When you suggested maybe moving into one of the children's bedrooms, that is just a band-aid solution. ANd it sounds to me like your husband might not even truly care that you are doing that, he might actually like it, and that would mean that he wins...and you can't have that.
I hope that i am not being too blunt, and if i am, i am really sorry, but sometimes you need to hear it from a stranger to realise how bad it is. Also, i work in an emergency shelter for abused women, and i see how bad it can really get. All the ladies that come in are depressed and on many meds. And through counselling, being away from the abuser and working on getting themselves empowered to live their lives free from this sort of abuse, there is a huge change in them during their stay.
You deserve better, please realise this, your children will help you out emotionally too, you will realise, and if they or one have to move back in with you, let that happen, it will only be for a short while more than likely. You can also help your children be able to support themselves, and that will help you out alot too.
It really hurts my soul to hear of someone in your position, you are not happy and you need to be, to feel better, to be able to truly help your children, emotionally as well as monatarily. And also, abuse is a viscious cycle, what your children see, and how you handle it, can shape how they are in a relationship.

Take care,

you sound like your being strong. good for you. it is hard when someone has their own issues and you are trying to handle your own situation. but really, he sounds completely immature and uncooperative, harsh, but he is a grown adult who knows that he has two choices: work out what he is feeling with you or allow you to get on with your life. and if he is certain he wants to move on then he should let you go in peace and safety, instead of forcing you to choose sides, your health, safety,children, or peace of mind. that really is the most emotionally cold thing a person can do, in my opinion.

at least you are able to seperate who is really responsible for whats happening from your feelings and are not putting it all on yourself. :angel: