Hi,

I have a three-day-old daughter who refuses to go to sleep on her own. When my wife and I hold her, she's quiet as the day is long, but as soon as we put her in her bassinet, she fusses and whines and cries.

I've tried setting her asleep right after a change and feed.

I've tried wrapping her up in three blankets(not swaddling, since I don't know how to do that. Just basic wrapping up.)

I've tried burping her before bed.

I'm going delerious from fatigue. Please help!

Sounds like my son at that age!!! I'm a firm believe in the early days you have to do what you have to do to survive. They are too new to the world and still adjusting. They crave the security of the womb. My son wouldn't even sleep swaddled. DH and I slept in the recliner with him on our chest for the first few days. Even after that he hated the bassinet. So he slept in the carseat for months. He was much more secure in there. My doctor told me this would in no way do him permanent harm.

My daughter is a much better sleeper, but she won't lay down flat and sleep. I HIGHLY suggest you learn how to swaddle and see if that helps. When my DD gets tired she starts fussing until we swaddle her up tight and give her her paci then she drifts off all by herself. She's done this since she was a newborn.

If swaddling doesn't help, you can try the carseat or holding the baby to sleep. She is much too young to spoil or establish bad habits. You don't have to worry about that yet. The most important thing now is for all of you to get some sleep! Good luck!

Sometimes the vibrating bouncers help infants to sleep. A lullaby may also help.

You could also try a swing. But like Siren says, it's pure survival at this point. We too slept with our baby lying on our chests while we took turns sleeping on the couch. Whatever gets them (and you) to sleep in the beginning, do it. I remember my son being 5 days old and sleeping all night in his vibrating chair. My daughter is now 3 months and I know that she'll still take a good midday nap in her swing, so I plop her in there. We have a portable dishwasher and I've learned that I can put her in her car seat and put her ontop of that while it runs and that puts her to sleep in minutes. Lol do whatever it takes, you'll learn the tricks soon.

Yea i agree. Do what you can to keep her happy. At this age they are so new to the outside world, so what you do for them makes them comfortable and happy. I did alot of reading about newborns. It says that they can't get attached to things before they are 4 months of age. I really believe that. Just comfort your little one and do what you can to make her happy. We spent alot of nights with her lying on our chest to sleep or she would sleep in her swing. My little girl is 8 months old now. She does wonderful. She has slept through the night since she was about 6 weeks old. Just give her some time to adjust to this new world she is in.

First, enjoy her all you can don't worry about bad habits. The day will come, and it will be sooner than you think, when your baby will not want to be held and cuddled and you will miss it! I wish I could go back with all three of mine and rock them to sleep from time to time. Its a special time.

Second, most babies do not sleep well flat on their backs so your baby is not rare. When our first two were born it was during the era of tummy sleep. It was rare for a baby to not sleep most of the time, waking only to feed and going right back to sleep. Try having your baby sleep in the the carseat, swing, bouncyseat, on the side or on the tummy (SIDS rates are not even close to 1% for a newborn tummy sleeper). Swaddling may also work well for your baby.

Third, do not worry about your baby getting herself to sleep on her own, especially at this age. Nearly every baby out there will eventually put him or herself to sleep on his or her own no matter what you do or don't do now.

Nancy

Well she misses the closeness probably. I doubt that she'll fall asleep on her own easily at this age. She's still adjusting to the world and it's a huge change. The noise, the air, space to move!, etc. Everything is new. Until a few days ago she was snug and warm in her quiet little womb. She'd be lulled to sleep by her mother's walking. Some babies find it stressful! All the changes :eek:

It's stunning how much a baby can disrupt your life! Wear your baby and take turns wearing your baby. Try a sling or a snugglie or any other front carrier. Sleep when your baby sleeps. I know my DH and I both took turns napping on the sofa with my daughter on our chests.

You might want to read up on attachment parenting. Part of the concept is baby wearing and co sleeping. Or Kangaroo care. Sounds like a silly term. Kangaroo care was started in the early 80's as a way of caring for preterm infants in Colombia. They would be put a baby wearing only a diaper on a parent's bare chest with the baby's head turned to hear the parent's heart. You don't have to be topless. Button the baby up in a shirt or cover up with a blanket. There has been proven benefit to both parent and child. It doesn't have to be all day either.

You aren't going to break your baby if you hold her too much. She's not going to start a bad habit at this age. She's not going to break either if you let her cry a little bit. Not too long at this age. It's very important for her to know if she cries her needs will be met.

If you can't figure out how to swaddle the baby, have you tried to call the hospital and ask? We were encouraged to call and ask the maternity nurses if we had questions during the first few days home.

Swaddling is pretty easy though. You take a blanket and fold the top corner down about 4-6 inches. Lay your baby on her back with her head on the fold. Take the left side of the blanket and pull it over your baby and tuck it under back on her right side, just under her right arm. Take the bottom up and tuck it into the part you pulled over, or just pull it up to baby's chin. Take the right side and pull it over and wrap it around to the baby's back. You've got a baby burrito as my BIL used to say. He was/is the best baby swaddler I ever saw. Better than the hospital nurses. :) If your daughter likes to suck on her fingers, you might like to leaver her arms free. She won't need to be swaddled beyond her first month, unless she was born early, then she might benefit from longer swaddling.

Your daughter might like to be swaddled or not. It might help if she is startled by her muscle movements. You don't want her to overheat. So one blanket should be enough. If you're worried about her being cold, pop a knit cap on her head. What she wore in the hospital should be ok at home, kwim? Diaper, tshirt, socks and cap. If you're comfortable with your layers of clothes, your baby will be too in the same amount of layers.

Good luck!!!

Let her be!!!!! she's 3 days old. get a boppy (target, fred meyer, babies r us ect.) ans snuggle her in bed with you!!!!!!! she won't break, and after you relax, it's the best sleep you'll ever have. that is until they figure out what their legs are good for :)




Hi,

I have a three-day-old daughter who refuses to go to sleep on her own. When my wife and I hold her, she's quiet as the day is long, but as soon as we put her in her bassinet, she fusses and whines and cries.

I've tried setting her asleep right after a change and feed.

I've tried wrapping her up in three blankets(not swaddling, since I don't know how to do that. Just basic wrapping up.)

I've tried burping her before bed.

I'm going delerious from fatigue. Please help!

Everybody has given good advice. I remember something my pediatrician told me when I was concerned about spoiling my newborn from holding her alot. She told me: YOU CANNOT SPOIL A NEWBORN FROM HOLDING THEM TOO MUCH. THEY NEED TO FEEL SECURE AND LOVED. THIS CAN ONLY BE ACCOMPLISHED IF YOU TEND TO THEIR NEEDS. IF HOLDLING IS WHAT THEY WANT, THEN HOLD THEM. Don't worry, you will NOT create a problem. Both my girls were held alot. I would go about my business with them in the Baby Bjorn. There'd be some nights that in order to keep my sanity, my husband and I would let them sleep in bed with us. Now 10 and 5, they sleep fine in their own rooms and don't have any sleep issues. I'm sure things will be fine. Good luck and hang in there!

I used to put my son in his carrier and put him atop the dryer while it was running. he slept soooo good.............Of course I was right there beside him as he was up sort of high....and didnt' want him to vibrate off!!