Hey guys,

Ive got my first counselling appointment today. What should I expect??? Im v scared! More because I hate goin to unfamiliar places on my own, lol but yeh anyway, advice would be appreciated!!!!!

Thanks
S
x

its gunna be rather awkward at first but hun, once ur in the room, u feel as if u can tell ur counselloer EVERYTHING! well. thats how i felt neways..my counsellor was a doll and a life savor...i wish u luck!:)

Let me know how it turns out, im in the process of finding one too!

Hey guys,

Sammy ur always there for everyone! Thanks guys. Yes it was awkward at first. I dunno I guess it was just a bit sereal coz i never thought in a billion yrs that id ever end up in counselling..hmm.. Neway, im glad I went coz nxt week were gonna discuss how im gonna get through this summer back at home n what im goin to say to my parents but i felt v different comin out of there than i felt comin out of the doctor's.

I found it so much easier talkin to my doctor than my counsellor but then i think its because i wrote everythin down for my doctor n then she read my food diary two weeks later so she could kinda get inside my mind before I had to speak to her.

With the counsellor I found it really quite difficult to come across right. It wasnt like I was inconfortable talkin to her but she asked me some questions that required me talkin about things that I like to deny is part of me or ever happened- like bullying at school...i h8 that word, its kinda overused sometimes i think- if that makes sense. n she asked me how exactly do i make myself sick n i just cudnt answer, like not even a word. It was ok coz she sort of said it for me but I was just annoyed with myself wen i came out becoz i didnt feel like i explained the whole thing accurately. My doctor knows everything n i mean everything but the counsellor didnt seem to get the whole background behind my situation the same. I dont kno ... i just didnt explain v well.

It was worth goin to though. Maybe I cud just think more b4 my nxt appointment. I havnt done any work today n my exams r in under 2 weeks. I dont kno what to do. I just cant deal with this. Its like I dont kno who I am anymore. I used to b able to deal with anythin, or at least I thought so. There is just too much goin on- counsellors, doctors, exams, tellin my parents or not, sortin out student loan forms, sortin out arrangments for my hair 4 our ball coz i have 2 exams each 3 hrs long that day, pickin options for finals, finding a job 4 summer, arranging movin all my stuff out of my room at the end of term, sortin where im livin nxt yr (currently down 4 livin in a box room with no desk with no hope of a different room in college-sounds like nothin i kno but i need a lot of space for all my books n my laptop etc). I kno these all sound like small things but thats what i mean- i never used to get so stressed but im properly panicking...i cant do all this!!!!!!! My friends are brill but now im scared of becoming a burden on them. I dont feel as though they see the real me anymore. I cant be fun to be around. I h8 myself at the moment- really really h8 myself. I look at other people in college n i wish i cud b like them. I never used to think that- i had the most perfect life. ALthough apparently thats the problem- im a perfectionist with low self esteem! Argh!!! i dunno wether to go n talk to my tutors again but i dont wanna pester them or cause trouble. Its like there are all these people who have done loads ot help me but i still feel totally alone.

Im really sorry for ranting. I just need to get this all off my chest coz im goin insane.

Anyway gud luk Liza with the counselling. It is worth it. Im glad I went. We basically started with the present n what im like now n then looked back. I am probably used to startin at the beginning but never mind. lol.

Suzanne
x

Suzanne
I know what you mean about feeling alone. I feel so alone right now. My friends are just frustrated with me, my mom and i have never been close and the only reason she would care about me is because now its obvious from my weight that she is a bad mother, I love my dad but i dont want to be a disappointment to him. I literally have no one. I am a Christian though, maybe i just need to pray about it. Thanks for listening!

Hi Suzanne,

Well done on going to your counselling appt. It was probably very difficult, but you have to give these things time. I have been seeing my counsellor for over a year now, and there are still things that I just cannot talk about. I mean she knows certain things that happened, but she never pushes me further than I am prepared to go in one session. Sometimes I just cannot talk, and then I tend to laugh a lot and 'put an end to the conversation rather than address the issue'. Lol!

Anyway, over time you build up a relationship and trust with your counsellor. I know that my counsellor now knows far more about me and how bad I feel than anyone else I know. And in turn, she has come to know when I have gone far enough in one direction and turns the conversation onto other areas if I am getting too anxious.

Counselling is a great help, and a great time to explore your issues, however small they sometimes seem to you. The thing is all relative, because even if you think people have been through worse stuff, or that you should be a stronger person, or whatever, - at the end of the day these things feel like a BIG DEAL to you. And therefore, they should not be taken lightly.

So, give yourself time and patience and you will come to see just how invaluable the counselling is.

Good Luck, we are all rooting for you! And we are here if you need us.
Hugs from H
:wave:

Thanks for the support and advice Aurora. I hope ur doin okay at the moment. Ive read ur posts n u seem a bit more positive now...I dunno but as Im sure u kno we're all here for u!

Liza, I am also a Christian and I although I have always been to church all my life I have never felt the need to go as much as I do now. I agree that prayer is a good thing. Thanks for reminding me coz i don't think u can ever feel totally alone with God there. hmm...

Well thankyou anyway. Im still feeling so miserable today but Il just get on with it n keep reminding myself that it could be worse nad I am so lucky i have so much support.

hey Suzanne! well, im glad ur happy with ur decision about the counsellor. and with the whole ED thing, other things in life (like a REAL life), is really hard to control. my friends becae very upset with me as well. i would never socialize with my friends. i dont have ne pictures of us hanging out from all of last year. i have caused so much stress on my parents...my sister is getting married next summer, but my mom didnt wana plan nething until i was better. my teachers would always watch me like a hawk which was so annoying !! then id get in a pissy mood and just be in a bad mood all day. i now regurgiate my food (gross i know) but at least im keeping it down. now i feel my teeth are reall gonna rot. im so scared.!! ive heard so many stories about teeth and omg. i cant let that happen to me. u shure wish i still went to ta counseller to tell about that rumination thing...whatever it is i have.

i hope ur second appoitemnt goes well!! and Liza and aurora, i hope u are doin well also!

I can kinda of relate to you although i have never spoken to anyone about my real issues i feel like im no longer any fun to be around and i know i have changed from the more bubbly out going person i used to be. I used to enjoy socialising but now i often avoid it and when people ask to to go out or do something i immediatly think what can i say if i dont want to go, and can never give a direct response.

I really hope you persue with your counselling as im sure it will probably get easier in time and hopefully can help releive some of the pressure from you.

Warmest thoughts to you.