I thought it might help to write down my sister's sad story. She is not physically gone yet but is in every other aspect-emotionally, spiritually, mentally, etc.

I believe that my sister is addicted to oxycodone among others. She is 29 years old, is a chemical engineer, has a beautiful home, etc. My sister states that she has always had migraines. I believe that she has. She has also always been chronically depressed.

She really changed around 9-11. The depression deepened and I feel that is when we all started losing her from our family unit. Two years ago I received a phone call(mind you this day I found out that I was finally pregnant with twins; we went through IVF twice to acheive this) from my sister announcing that she had taken a bottle of Fioracet(she had also been ordering this illegally over the internet-drugs have always been involved due to migraines). She was taken to a mental institution and evaluated. On my birthday that same year she was put back in the mental institution for another possible suicide. Everything is a blur in between these moments but I know she never recovered or fully sought help. We have all tried to help in endless ways to no avail. My sister met a man last year not under the best of circumstances-he was married and had children. She ended up marrying this guy at the hospital(she got pregnant before marrying him). It was such a shock as my sister was always the one with the common sense. I was so upset because I knew where this road might lead especially with her past.

The headaches increased while she was pregnant. She was in the ER almost daily getting various shots of Demoral, morphine, and who knows what else. After the baby came things were okay for a couple of weeks only for the headaches to return. She ended up having a seizure in Target which led her to seek serious treatment for these migraines. Anyway she ended up finding a doctor who apparently manages her pain now. She takes Oxycodone and morphine. Last month she called all of us very upset saying that someone stole her medication from her purse at work. She even called the police. I suspected things were going wrong then but didn't ever have solid proof. Last weekend, she ended up having to go home to my mother's home. She said she was homesick. She got there and stayed in the bedroom the entire time and crying non stop. My mother had to take complete care of her baby. She didn't even call into work; she made her husband go in and talk to her boss. A few days later after my sister returned to her home; I spoke with her husband who told me that my sister had run out of medication before her next doctor's appointment. She ran out right before she went to my parent's home. She basically came to my parent's home to withdraw. Sick!!!!!!!!!! My sister's husband also went on to inform me that my sister has recently ordered Percocet over the internet and has boiled poppy seeds to extract the opium.

I could go on and on. My sister's life has turned into a deadly soap opera. I don't know what to do. I even went so far to find a rehab. that was on her insurance plan and put her on the waiting list. I did all of this only to have my sister's husband call and say that he wants to wait it out another month-he wants to see if he can adequately monitor her meds for her. He bought a safe last month only to have her call him and visciously demand the lock number to get more pills. In my opinion, another month is just delaying the inevitable.

I don't want my sister to die. I feel as if I have already lost her. When I speak with her, her soul seems dead. What can I do short of chaining her down and making her go somewhere for help. She lies about it and won't even admit that this is a problem. She seems to have an answer for every terrible event that has taken place. Do we just wait for the phone call of dread? What can we do?????????????????????

Lanie

That's your sis!!!! Get her out of there. Another month will not cut it and it sounds like she is in way over her head! Her husband CANNOT adequately wean her off of that type of medication. Oxycontin is one of, if not the most addictive opiate there is. If there is a waiting list, find another rehab. Try taking her to California to the Weismann rapid detox if necessary. It is the most painless detox experience method around. Go to ANY search engine and type the above to research it! GOOD LUCK!!

PS- If you need to talk, just type a message and ANYONE will do anything they can to give you info!

Im so sorry to hear about your situation....you do though sound like such a strong and caring person that would go far and wide to help family. It sounds like you are trying your hardest to reach out and help...I know I dont have any answers but I am always here to listen...and I am sure there are so many people on these boards that can give you such great advice.

Please keep us posted. Ill keep you and your sister in my prayers....

Love and Best Wishes!
Katie

lanie-
i can understand this situation-from experience..i too-have a sibling who has suffered w/ depression and addiction.
Migraines can be so debilitating-that you can't function-the pain is so intense-and the fear.
I agree w/ Tony-someones got to step in-take charge-and get her the help she needs-ive also been on both sides of this.
I would get in touch w/ your local hospital-and either get her addmitted for observation-or perhaps-a detox facility-that deals w/ dual diagnosis-but first-have her checked out completely w/ her physician-there may be physical problems she is unaware of...
Good luck..and i hope she gets the help she desperately needs...
ggrl :angel:

Hi Lanie,

It sounds to me like you have done all that you can do for now. Until she wants help there is little else you can do. It sounds like things are getting worse each day. I hope she reaches out soon.

In the meantime you might want to check out Alanon. More than likely when she does get into treatment they are going to recommend AA. It really is a wonderful program and provides a lot of support for us addicts. Alanon is for the family of the addict in case you have never heard of it.

My heart goes out to you. I hope you find some hope and support here.

Take care,
Patty

Thank you all for your posts. I know that she needs rehab,but she doesn't know this. Just yesterday, I spoke with her. She did finally admit that she ran out of medication early. She denied this in the beginning. I asked her why she ran out of medication and not taking it as the doctor prescribed. She states that she was trying to be a supermom and that she was doing too much. She states that her headaches got worse and she had to take more. Don't we all have to be supermoms???? She has an answer for everything. She states that her doctor has told her that people who have chronic pain usually do not become addicted or abuse the drug. She explained that her doctor is attempting to alter her pain pathways in her brain. Whatever!!!!!! Does her doctor know that she runs out of medicine every month and buys percocet illegally on the internet??? No!!!!

I guess because she is not at the point of realizing that this is a problem; that there is nothing more I can do except wait until the next crisis. You can't force someone into rehab. You can't "love" them into rehab. If love would have done it she would have been better years ago. Since she has run out of medication she goes to the ER with her baby and husband to get a shot of morphine(she claims for the migraines). She gets her refill on Thursday. I hate to even say this-I have become resentful towards her at times. It seems that everytime I have something special coming up she shits on it!!!! Every birthday of mine for the past 2 years have been clouded with her crisises. I know that sounds selfish. I feel that way sometimes. I know in my lucid moments that she is oblivious to events and people around her. She doesn't even know when my special moments are. She could care less. These drugs have become her family. Every thought she has is consumed with them. Thank you for listening. It does help to get insight into this and just to write my anguish and frustration down in words.

Thanks,
Lanie

I-n-t-e-r-v-e-n-t-i-o-n.

I have looked into an intervention. How do you find one in your local area? What kind of person usually does them? I couldn't find one in my sister's area. Thanks.
Elaine

Hi,
I am sorry for your sister and your family,
My husband is the addict and I postedabout it in hubbys addicted to oxy,help.
Its not easy watching a loved one hooked on drugs and choose them over their family I hate my husband but yet love him to.
I will add you in my prayers. posting here has helped vent the pain.

Lanie,

I know you cannot MAKE somebody do something that they don't want. But there is a time where somebody has to step in and make the decision for her! There are many types of medication for migraines that are non-narcotic and it actually sounds like she is using her migraines as an excuse to get the oxys!! If you don't step in and intervene, she might not be around in the future! I am not trying to scare you, but it is the truth! My best friend died in his sleep from taking methadone, xanax bars, & norcos. I COULD HAVE STEPPED IN but i didn't. I think about that EVERY DAMN DAY and it hurts me to think what if I would have done something for him!?! Would he still be here? Oh well, "would've", "could"ve, & "should've". I am doing alot better now and I don't feel the guilt b/c he made the decision to take the pills and kill himself! I hope this helps as I am not trying to scare you!

Tony B.

Oh Lanie,

Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your story.

How very sad and difficult this must be for you, your sister, and the entire family. She's so young, only 29...plus she has a child of her own. You're not alone in your feelings of helplessness and despair in trying to help her...there are lots of folks here, as I'm slowly finding out, in very similar situations to yours and mine. (It's my son who's the addict). I've found this place to be a godsend because EVERYONE tries to help one another, whether they're the ones battling the addiction themselves or the loved ones of the folks who are. I'm sure you'll find lots of excellent advice and support here. :)

I feel so sorry for your sister having those horrible migraines. My Mom suffered from those for years...it would get so bad she'd beg me to get a gun and shoot her. She'd be locked in her darkened bedroom for days with the curtains drawn and barely able to stand the sound of a pin being dropped on the floor. Back in those days (early 70's) there wasn't a whole lot of great treatments out there. Fortunately, my Mom's headaches ceased miraculously after she passed menopause, but nowadays, there should be no medical reason to wait that long!

I also have a good friend who had these migraines and fortunately for her, the drug Imitrex was her salvation. I think it's something you take as soon as you feel a headache starting and if you can nip it in the bud, you'll avoid it completely. I honestly don't know what else is available out there now for migraine sufferers but I feel so bad that the only thing your sister's doctors seem to be able to do for her is to prescribe these really heavy-duty narcotic pain killers.

Chronic pain is very depressing, as I know firsthand. But sometimes it's like the chicken and the egg thing...does the pain increase the depression, or does the depression increase the pain? Often the two go hand in hand, I think.

I will pray and hope that your sister can get through this. I can't really offer any practical advice about how to help her beat her addiction, but as you've seen, there's been a lot of very good suggestions from the others.

You and your sister have my heartfelt support and prayers.

Nell

Thank you all for your hopeful and informative posts. I know that my sister may die. I actually was thinking the other night while I lay in bed what it would be like to no longer have my sister here with us. I allowed myself to see what that would feel like. It scared the hell out of me!!! I am not able to physically step in right at this moment. I live so far away from my sister. I also have 20 month old twins. I can't just get up and leave; it's not that easy. I am going to visit my parent's home on the 8th of this month. My sis lives about 6 hours from them. I have already made my mind up that if she runs out of pills this month(I will be around when this might happen); I am going to line up an intervention. All of us will be together and we can make that happen.

My sister hasn't not contacted any of the family since her doctor gave her more oxy's. I want to call her but I haven't. What will we talk about???? This is the usual circumstances-she gets her pills and she ignores her family. When she runs out and is going through withdrawls; she runs to us for support. We try to give all of the support we can(in the past enabled her; we thought it was helping her) and she denies her problem. So confusing and frustrating!!!!!

Thanks for listening.
Elaine