Hello,
I want to be able to share my addictions with someone that wants to hear about them. I've been clean for 7 months, and very proud of it even though it is very hard. I was addicted to fetynal (duragesic patches) and oxy. I still have nightmares about it. My nightmares include finding my drugs, and than trying to do them, but it never goes the way I want it to. Something always happens in my dream, and I never get the drugs that I want to get. When I wake up than, the only thing I have on my mind is fetynal and oxy. I try my hardest to resist, but that thought is always on my mind. I just want 1 more fix, that's all. I'm just lost, I just want one more.

Hi,
Cant offer too much advise today as I am in somewhat of a funk. One thing that does come to mind that I heard in a AA meeting is:
One is too many and a thousand is never enough. Be proud of your sobriety.

Marilyn
:wave:

My husband is currently addicted to oxy and its hell on him and our family. I applaud you for getting off it. Stick with it be strong I know the struggle is tough.

I was on the Duragesic patch for about a year for my chronic pain and when I decided to get off of it the withdrawals were unbelievable! I never imagined it could be that bad. I was actually going through the garbage trying to find old patches that still had a little bit left in them so I could maybe chew them to ease the w/d pain. :o

I'm proud of you for hanging on this long! But I can tell you from experience that you will not stop at 1 fix. You think you will, but once it gets in your system, your brain doesn't think as logically anymore and it seems reasonable to have another and another and another. Don't break down - you are doing great!!!!
:angel:

hello, you posted to my thread today. i just read yours. congrats on 7 months sober. in my opinion that is a major accomplishment. i am on day 4 of not taking any pills. i think today i am having more w/d symptoms than the past couple of days. do you ever remember getting heartburn from w/d's? the last couple of nights i have had dreams about pills. in the dream i have the pills in my hands and about to take them and then i wake up. the tricks our minds play on us. so i can relate with you on that. did u go through w/d's cold turkey? what were yours like? is there anything you found that helped you out? sorry about all the questions at once.

:) suzannah

I can relate to your post-in many ways..that was me..to a T..the dreams/fixtion..obsession-i used to search-thru the house..looking for drugs..that were hidden away..
or so i believed..
I was addicted to Heroin for many years..my first year clean-was very difficult-particularly-the first 8 months-then i was ok-for the most part-
i did go to counceling/outpatient-treatment-etc..
Unfortunately-i blew it after 2 yrs..the obsession took over-and i relapsed..
HUGE mistake..hang on-one fix-turns into a habit..we are addicts..
and i ended up on sub maitainence..if i had just held on..
But its the nature of the beast..
Best tip:Therapy..really has brought me to a new place in life..
you need to get to the bottom of why you need to numb out..
currently on .5 mgs sub..and tapering..
i do understand your feelings-i still on occassion get the drug dreams-and like you..wake up freaked out..
my jones is gone-as is my options for using.
and i no longer miss the drama..
you should look into some professional help-it saved my life as did the sub..
peace..healing to you..
ggrl :angel:

I don't know too much about your 'drug of choice'. mine was meth... but i can relate to the nightmares and sleepless nights. i have been struggling with that too. i never went to treatment or anything for i am trying to do it on my own... but its extremely hard! the only thing i can think is that it'll get better with time. i've only been clean for 8 months but it's already so much better than ever before. it takes a strong person to overcome the cravings but just keep taking it day by day.... and i suggest staying away from any people who got you into it for that makes it ten times more difficult. the best of luck to you.