My computer was on the blink and now I am back (thank goodness).
My son is still over 4 months clean. But I am worried. His whole problem started because he had stomach pain, irritable bowel syndrome, acid reflux, ulcers and a hernia. He has convinced himself that his problem is more than that. He actually did have a hernia which was when he first got on percocets. He actually did have 7 ulcers 1 1/2 years ago. He can't seem to work because of this. Everyone in the family thinks he is just using the pain to get out of working. He is going for an endoscopy to see if he has ulcers again. I can see him getting more and more depressed lately. I am so afraid he will start using again. His last two Dr's gave him percocets and one of them gave him Oxy's. Then he discovered heroin. I can never seem to find a Dr. to help him. The Dr. who found the ulcers told me he was surprised to find them because he figured my son was imagining the pain. He is convinced that because my son got addicted to heroin he can't have real pain. My son seems to be giving up and thinks no Dr. will ever help him find out what is wrong with his digestive system. I am so proud of my son for staying clean but the rest of the family thinks I should kick him out of the house because he doesn't have a job. I don't know what to do. I truly feel his pain is real.

i have/had ulcers and that doesnt hurt enough to take something. i might be a rare case i dont know.

First of all Joan, I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this. Second, I think you need to go with your gut instincts. Did a doctor actually find ulcers and does the doctor feel they are bad enough for him not to be working?? I really hope he isn't using it as an excuse to not work but to be honest with you, I have never heard of anyone not being able to work because of ulcers, but then again I don't know anyone who has them either. You definatley don't want him to start using again, but you also need to realize that you can't stop it and this is his choice, you just need to keep making it clear to him that you will not tolerate it in your home. I keep telling my son, I don't know if you had a chance to read my most recent post that I'm a little worried, but not sure if I'm just being paranoid, but anyway I keep telling him that he better be thinking very carefully about what he's doing because I won't allow it. Our neighbor and close friend who works for the department of mental health and addiction services in the state of CT. keeps telling me that we are doing all we can and that we can't control it, but it's up to him now to make the right decisions. I'm just still so paranoid that I'm missing something even though I don't really see any definite signs to prove he's doing anything but smoking pot.
Isn't this awful. Always wondering and second guessing. You need to follow your gut instincts. You need to find out if his ulcers are bad enough to prevent him from working, or if it's just that he doesn't want to. Are you most afraid he'll start using because he's depressed or from the pain he says he is in? That is really important to know because you don't want to kick him out if he really really can't work, but on the other hand, you don't want to be enabling him to sit home and let you support him.
I don't know if this has been any help, other then to let you know that I feel for you and understand what you are going through.
I'm here for you and will check back throughout the day.

Hi Joan,

I am so sorry that you and your son are going through all this, but I'm glad to hear he's still clean. That is a good thing! :)

I suffered from duodenal ulcers since I was about 19. I was always on and off anti-ulcer drugs like Zantac for the pain because I was in absolute agony. At one point, I tried to ignore the symptoms and tough it out...I wound up in the hospital for 2 weeks...after the endoscopy they discovered that I was bleeding internally and they almost had to remove vast sections of damaged intestines surgically. Luckily, the meds worked and I healed.

I later found out that I was prone to ulcers because I had the H.Pylori bacteria and they tried a new treatment called "triple therapy" that basically wiped out the bacteria completely. This was about 12 years ago, and I've never had another ulcer since.

You must be so frustrated not being able to find a doctor to diagnose him properly. It took years for me to be diagnosed too, and it was hell. And it was very painful, even though I looked "normal" on the outside.

If indeed your son is in chronic pain, he really needs to be treated for the cause and not just handed more pain-killers by doctors who don't seem to be thorough enough or care enough to find out why. I haven't been to many of the other forums on this board (except for the back problems one) but perhaps there's one here that you could post to about your son's digestive problems? There might be other folks that have suggestions and support for you.

I know how depressed your son must feel about his pain and until you find out if it's real or not, you're really in a tough position. I'm not sure how old he is or if he's ever worked, but I can imagine also why other family members might think he's not really in pain and just trying to avoid working. Until you know for sure, it's almost impossible to judge him or make a decision as to what to do next.

I will hope and pray that you find the answers you need, that he will remain strong in his desire to stay clean, and that the mystery will soon be resolved. You have my hugs and best wishes. Hang in there, mom, I'll also be checking in later to see how everything's going. Please keep us posted, ok?

Nellie

I have stomach problem ,hernia GERD, and IBS and sometimes it is bad pain but not like that.
It awesome that hes clean...
IF you kick him out dont you think he might get more depressed and start using again?
Maybe take him toa new doctor who knows nothing of his addiction to get an honest exam. My mom has Crohns disease , its a digestive thing and she just got out of the hospital was in for 2 weeks , the pain was real bad for her.
good luck

Thanks everyone for responding. My son had 7 ulcers last year and we suspect he may have them again. He is having an endoscopy on Monday. He also tests negative for H Pylori but still gets ulcers. It is just so hard to know whether someone is exaggerating their pain or is truly in pain. He doesn't want pain killers he says, he just wants to feel good. And some people feel pain differently than others. But on the other hand I don't want him sitting around the house all day either. I just wish I could find a Dr. that could really help him. In five months he has gotten off heroin, oxycontin, depacote, lamictal, xanax, and klonopin. All were prescribed except obviously, the heroin. He has done an amazing job at staying clean and yes I am afraid to kick him out of the house at this point. I would hate to see him back on any of these drugs. I think the idea to check the digestive disorder board is a good one and I will try that. He just has convinced himself that no Dr. will ever be able to help his digestive problems and unfortunately so far he is right. His gastro Dr. thinks he is imagining the pain even though he is the one who found his ulcers last year. These Drs. have a preconceived notion that if you are an addict you are not in pain. He's not even asking for pain meds. He is only asking to feel good. He is 23 years old. I don't want to see him give up and turn to drugs again.

All I know as a recovering heroin addict myself over three years clean is it took me at least four month and more like 7 before I felt able to face reality and go to work and deal with that kind of stuff. I was beat down physically from the drugs and my body had a lot of recovering to do to just get me to an ok point, not even normal again. So your son might be feeling that really bad depression and that no energy stage and it is very real. The good part is that it does go away. There is nothing he really can do but try to be patient and wait it out. As long as you really don't think he is doing drugs and are not being naive about it, and it sounds like he is doing that thing where he thinks something is permanently wrong with him, then don't kick him out. Doctors are idiots sometimes. they know how to temporarily fix stuff but as for long term they don't get paid to keep track of after treatment. I think you should let your son know that his body is repairing itself and that you are behind him and screw what anyone else thinks. Together you guys are going to wait it out untill he gets better. As for pain issues and actuall medical stuff, it probably seems worse just because of the after effects of heroin. I really think that when the cloud lifts and he starts to get a little back to normal the pain issues will be much clearer at that point and it will be much more tolerable. It is hard to get up and get started for a while after getting clean. I would say that even at like 7 months clean i still did not have a normal amount of energy and work and all of that was weird and honestly could have even been postponed for another month or so. I really was forced at that point and had to push myself a lot. I was not used to normal stuff and it was a foreing world. good luckj.

Jesse28

I know he is clean because I drug test him every other day. And I have wondered how long it would take for him to recover from all the drugs he was doing and I don't want to kick him out just for the sake of kicking him out and teaching him a lesson. I just want him to get well. I guess I just don't know where to draw the line.

is your son involved in any therapy/counceling??
It really saved me.
Its very tough getting off the H..there is no magic cure-except to never pick up again..but addiction is a disease..and it needs to be managed..some of these issues could be stress related..
please ask him how he feels about commiting to therapy..
if he relapses-please..check into suboxone-this medication saved my life..
Also-the kids i know that got clean-their parents stayed involved..so hang in there-
Good mama!!!
ggrl :angel:

Joan,
the fact that he says he's in pain but isn't looking for it as an excuse to take pain pills to me would say a lot. How could you kick him out if he's not using? I would ignore what others say and think and do what you know in your heart is right. It would be different if he was saying he's in pain and using it as an excuse to take something, but that obviously isn't the case. If he's going for tests on Monday, then wait and see how they come back. If they come back and say there is no way he can be in that much pain, then deal with it then. If that is the case then maybe you have to be just as tough as you were at saying if you do drugs you can't live here and say if you don't work you can't live here. Have him make the choice. Keep us posted with the test results.

Karen

I don't think you are doing the wrong thing. If you drug test him and you know he is clean stick by him. It is hard to even make it as far as he has. He is not being lazy by not working, he is simply recovering. I know it may sound funny but it is much the same as recovering from a car wreck or something. You have to rebuild everything physically and mentally untill you are simply just up to par on daily activities. Screw what everyone else says. Stick with him. You obviously are not being naive at all and you are doing the right thing. Stop stressing and go with it. He is getting better but it just takes time.

LostMind-I too have crohn's disease i'm 34 and just recently had my 4th small bowel resection. I was in the hospital for 2 months. I understand your mom's pain. I'll say a prayer for her!!