justjustine
06-01-2005, 04:00 AM
Hello
I have been pulling my hair out of my scalp and sometimes my eyebrows for over 25 years now. It started when I was about 13 and I had a bad time of it. Lots of very large bald spots on my head that were very hard to conceal while I was in high school. I seem to have good periods when just tugging at my hair seems to help.
A question: Do other sufferers have a very sensitive area on their scalps that they seem to gravitate to. I have recently been in the hospital for back surgery and while I was there I managed to pull out enough hair to create a bald spot about the size of a quarter. I have now come to realize after many years of thinking about it that when I get into an anxious state, pulling my hair puts me into a zone.....a kind of relaxed state. I didn't think I would have to deal with another bald spot again after so many years but I have to say to myself "WHAT THE HECK...IT GROWS BACK" I have so much hair that a little bit won't be missed for a while.
I have been going out with a gentleman for about 9 months now and have not mentioned any of this to him. Tonight he noticed a gray hair in the back of my head and then noticed the bald spot. I thought, oh god he's going to think I'm nuts. Quite the contrary....he was very understanding and actually rubs my head for me while we are hanging out watching TV
I have been pulling my hair out of my scalp and sometimes my eyebrows for over 25 years now. It started when I was about 13 and I had a bad time of it. Lots of very large bald spots on my head that were very hard to conceal while I was in high school. I seem to have good periods when just tugging at my hair seems to help.
A question: Do other sufferers have a very sensitive area on their scalps that they seem to gravitate to. I have recently been in the hospital for back surgery and while I was there I managed to pull out enough hair to create a bald spot about the size of a quarter. I have now come to realize after many years of thinking about it that when I get into an anxious state, pulling my hair puts me into a zone.....a kind of relaxed state. I didn't think I would have to deal with another bald spot again after so many years but I have to say to myself "WHAT THE HECK...IT GROWS BACK" I have so much hair that a little bit won't be missed for a while.
I have been going out with a gentleman for about 9 months now and have not mentioned any of this to him. Tonight he noticed a gray hair in the back of my head and then noticed the bald spot. I thought, oh god he's going to think I'm nuts. Quite the contrary....he was very understanding and actually rubs my head for me while we are hanging out watching TV
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*music23*
06-05-2005, 03:53 PM
Hi,
Not to kick you out of the OCD board or anything lol! But there are lots of trich sufferers on the self-injury recovery board. You may be able to find more help there.
Kristina :wave:
Not to kick you out of the OCD board or anything lol! But there are lots of trich sufferers on the self-injury recovery board. You may be able to find more help there.
Kristina :wave:
orangeena
06-05-2005, 10:44 PM
Hi Justine
I have been dealing with this since I was about 13 as well...about 18-19 years. I definitely have a certain spot. Or spots I should say!
I've never actually created a completely bald spot; however there have been times when it was thinned out in a small area to the point where my hairdresser noticed it. I was mortified. At the time I had really long hair and he asked if I pull my hair back alot with plain rubber bands. I lied and said "that must be it!" and got a scolding about buying some hair ties. That was the first time that I even realized it got that bad that it was noticable. Luckily, I tend to favor spots down near the base of my neck so that the rest of my hair pretty much covers it up.
What I have noticed lately, though, is that these areas of my scalp are greying waaaay faster than anywhere else on my head. I have a few greys here and there but, these areas are almost all grey. I only notice that, though, when my roots start to show! hehe.
I have been dealing with this since I was about 13 as well...about 18-19 years. I definitely have a certain spot. Or spots I should say!
I've never actually created a completely bald spot; however there have been times when it was thinned out in a small area to the point where my hairdresser noticed it. I was mortified. At the time I had really long hair and he asked if I pull my hair back alot with plain rubber bands. I lied and said "that must be it!" and got a scolding about buying some hair ties. That was the first time that I even realized it got that bad that it was noticable. Luckily, I tend to favor spots down near the base of my neck so that the rest of my hair pretty much covers it up.
What I have noticed lately, though, is that these areas of my scalp are greying waaaay faster than anywhere else on my head. I have a few greys here and there but, these areas are almost all grey. I only notice that, though, when my roots start to show! hehe.
IBGECKO
06-06-2005, 06:04 PM
Hi,
Not to kick you out of the OCD board or anything lol! But there are lots of trich sufferers on the self-injury recovery board. You may be able to find more help there.
Kristina :wave:
I just checked out that board and didn't see any Trich threads. There have been several on this board, though, and Trich is part of the OCD family. It's not really a self-injury disorder, but rather a compulsive anxiety disorder. OCD, baby. OCD.
Not to kick you out of the OCD board or anything lol! But there are lots of trich sufferers on the self-injury recovery board. You may be able to find more help there.
Kristina :wave:
I just checked out that board and didn't see any Trich threads. There have been several on this board, though, and Trich is part of the OCD family. It's not really a self-injury disorder, but rather a compulsive anxiety disorder. OCD, baby. OCD.
*music23*
06-06-2005, 09:18 PM
I'm surprised to see that you're right about there being no trich threads on that board. In the past I have seen many.
But self-injury is a compulsive act! And trich IS a form of self-injury! It may partially stem from OCD but it is considered to be self-injury.
If you start a thread on trich in the self-injury forum, I'm pretty sure you will find some people that are suffering from the same problem, assuming all the trich sufferers have coincidentally disappeared since.
Kristina :wave:
But self-injury is a compulsive act! And trich IS a form of self-injury! It may partially stem from OCD but it is considered to be self-injury.
If you start a thread on trich in the self-injury forum, I'm pretty sure you will find some people that are suffering from the same problem, assuming all the trich sufferers have coincidentally disappeared since.
Kristina :wave:
Becky1227
06-06-2005, 09:44 PM
Hi Justine:
I also have trich and it started when I was 10. I am now 22 years old and have had all my hair, eyebrows and eyelashes back(for the most part) since I was 16. I battled with the huge bald spots, and every day was a battle trying to conceal them. It was so humiliating, people would ask me if my hair fell out, why I shaved my eyebrows off, and would just laugh. Trich is such an overwhelming disorder than completely drains you. Even now, with hair all grown back, I battle with which seems like is going to be lifelong depression. I think that the hurt from my childhood with being teased and tormented has caused this. I just tell myself everyday that I can't pull out my hair. Others that don't have trich just don't understand the comfort we get from pulling our hair out, but the after effects are devastating at times. Some people look at trich as such a weird disorder to have, BUT IT'S REAL! I know, the urge to pull never disappears, and I mean never! It's just a matter of control. Sometimes, it can be like an unconscious act. In your post, you were talking about the spot in the back of your head that you gravitate towards, and yes, I know the feeling. I'm not saying I never pull, but I try to pull 1-2 at a time. Also, I am engaged to a guy that has some hair on him, and he really understands me, and will let me tweeze him until he can't take it anymore! haha! As weird as it sounds, it really works for me!!! But anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, there are many of us out here, and we can all help support each other! Also, this is the perfect place for trich to be posted because trich is an OCD, not a self-injury disorder. I am currently finishing up nursing school(1 more semester), and I am in psych right now for summer, and self-injury refers to self mutilation type issues, and trich is not that!!!!! Anyway, take care, and you hang in there Justine!
Becky
I also have trich and it started when I was 10. I am now 22 years old and have had all my hair, eyebrows and eyelashes back(for the most part) since I was 16. I battled with the huge bald spots, and every day was a battle trying to conceal them. It was so humiliating, people would ask me if my hair fell out, why I shaved my eyebrows off, and would just laugh. Trich is such an overwhelming disorder than completely drains you. Even now, with hair all grown back, I battle with which seems like is going to be lifelong depression. I think that the hurt from my childhood with being teased and tormented has caused this. I just tell myself everyday that I can't pull out my hair. Others that don't have trich just don't understand the comfort we get from pulling our hair out, but the after effects are devastating at times. Some people look at trich as such a weird disorder to have, BUT IT'S REAL! I know, the urge to pull never disappears, and I mean never! It's just a matter of control. Sometimes, it can be like an unconscious act. In your post, you were talking about the spot in the back of your head that you gravitate towards, and yes, I know the feeling. I'm not saying I never pull, but I try to pull 1-2 at a time. Also, I am engaged to a guy that has some hair on him, and he really understands me, and will let me tweeze him until he can't take it anymore! haha! As weird as it sounds, it really works for me!!! But anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, there are many of us out here, and we can all help support each other! Also, this is the perfect place for trich to be posted because trich is an OCD, not a self-injury disorder. I am currently finishing up nursing school(1 more semester), and I am in psych right now for summer, and self-injury refers to self mutilation type issues, and trich is not that!!!!! Anyway, take care, and you hang in there Justine!
Becky
zeez
06-06-2005, 11:56 PM
Hi there!
Yeah, I've had this problem since, errr, ummm since 6th grade. I'm 42 years old and have fought with it and finally came to the decsion --- Fxxxx it.
My problem is eyelashes/brows. When I was young I would not leave the house unless I had false lashes glued on and brow drawn in. I got married 10 years ago and explained the disorder to my husband. He loved me as ME and as a result I no longer wear those dammmmmabnlble lashes or have to draw in brows that just never look right.
Of course, I look bizarre to people who don't know me. I recently had an appt with a cardiologist who noticed my lack of lashes/brows and asked if my thyroid had been tested. I just told her that I had trichotilomania and that yes, my thyroid was just fine. She just looked at me, like.... okay.....
And no, I do not consider it to be "self injury". I do go into the zone that people talk about. I could tell you HORROR stories about what my parents did to me to try and control it in my adolescence. But, hell, they didn't know anything. At that time nothing was known about trich. They were just looking out for my best interests, but I still have a lot of anger about the punishments about somethng I could not control.
I do feel it is related to OCD, although I don't know how. I just know that in my younger years it had a huge impact on my life. Now that I am older, and probably don't give a rat's a$$ about what people think, it does not have the control on me that it used to.
I have been very fortunate in that it has not involved the hair on my head. I have a new fear that since I'm getting older now and gray hairs have started popping up, that I may start yanking those. I have made an ACTIVE effort never to pull those because I know that new behavhior with pulling new areas will result in a whole new problem.
I keep trying to tell myself that I am "aging gracefully" and all that b/s. But I still want to start yanking those, but I do not dare to get that started.
A couple of years ago I found a really nice website that talked about this exact topic. Even had a webboard where users could chat. I think it shut down a while back. You may do well to find a support place where people talk about this issue in detail. I'm talking about reccomendations about wigs, makeup, etc.
Sweetie, I wish you the best! You gotta remember, some people can be real buttheads about comments. And you can always use the phrase that you lost your hair to an illness. And you do NOT need to explain. Let them wonder!
I hope my post wasn't offensive. I have experience here and can give you any kind of guidance, although mine is not with scalp type things.
I'm hoping you are having a good/nice life otherwise! Good thing about this is that it won't KILL us!
much luv,
~zeez
Yeah, I've had this problem since, errr, ummm since 6th grade. I'm 42 years old and have fought with it and finally came to the decsion --- Fxxxx it.
My problem is eyelashes/brows. When I was young I would not leave the house unless I had false lashes glued on and brow drawn in. I got married 10 years ago and explained the disorder to my husband. He loved me as ME and as a result I no longer wear those dammmmmabnlble lashes or have to draw in brows that just never look right.
Of course, I look bizarre to people who don't know me. I recently had an appt with a cardiologist who noticed my lack of lashes/brows and asked if my thyroid had been tested. I just told her that I had trichotilomania and that yes, my thyroid was just fine. She just looked at me, like.... okay.....
And no, I do not consider it to be "self injury". I do go into the zone that people talk about. I could tell you HORROR stories about what my parents did to me to try and control it in my adolescence. But, hell, they didn't know anything. At that time nothing was known about trich. They were just looking out for my best interests, but I still have a lot of anger about the punishments about somethng I could not control.
I do feel it is related to OCD, although I don't know how. I just know that in my younger years it had a huge impact on my life. Now that I am older, and probably don't give a rat's a$$ about what people think, it does not have the control on me that it used to.
I have been very fortunate in that it has not involved the hair on my head. I have a new fear that since I'm getting older now and gray hairs have started popping up, that I may start yanking those. I have made an ACTIVE effort never to pull those because I know that new behavhior with pulling new areas will result in a whole new problem.
I keep trying to tell myself that I am "aging gracefully" and all that b/s. But I still want to start yanking those, but I do not dare to get that started.
A couple of years ago I found a really nice website that talked about this exact topic. Even had a webboard where users could chat. I think it shut down a while back. You may do well to find a support place where people talk about this issue in detail. I'm talking about reccomendations about wigs, makeup, etc.
Sweetie, I wish you the best! You gotta remember, some people can be real buttheads about comments. And you can always use the phrase that you lost your hair to an illness. And you do NOT need to explain. Let them wonder!
I hope my post wasn't offensive. I have experience here and can give you any kind of guidance, although mine is not with scalp type things.
I'm hoping you are having a good/nice life otherwise! Good thing about this is that it won't KILL us!
much luv,
~zeez
IBGECKO
06-07-2005, 01:54 AM
Also, this is the perfect place for trich to be posted because trich is an OCD, not a self-injury disorder.
Good for you Becky! I'm sure it has been a struggle for you to keep the Trich under control. Keep up the good work. And thank you for defending Trich as NOT a self-injury disorder. I don't have Trich, but my 10 year old son does, and believe me, I've done a lot of research over the past few months to try and understand what he is going through. Everything I have read stresses that this is not a self-injury disorder, and that pain never enters into the compulsion.
Good for you Becky! I'm sure it has been a struggle for you to keep the Trich under control. Keep up the good work. And thank you for defending Trich as NOT a self-injury disorder. I don't have Trich, but my 10 year old son does, and believe me, I've done a lot of research over the past few months to try and understand what he is going through. Everything I have read stresses that this is not a self-injury disorder, and that pain never enters into the compulsion.
ankayc
06-07-2005, 10:24 PM
Hi I am new here and new to admitting this horrible issue I have with trich as well. I have been pulling since 13-14 years old I am 28 now. I have no bald spots but thinned out some areas and my hairdresser has noticed as well...I hate getting my hair cut. I am so frustrated with this and do not want to live with this forever . Has anyone had any luck with anything to help the pulling stop ? I just read about some diet that may help??? I just hate this and feel so nutty sometimes. I am ashamed and want to stop sooo badly, but don't know how. Stress or anxiety def makes it worse so if I had none of that maybe i would'nt pull????......I am sure that is not gonna happen though!!! The only time I didnt pull much was when i was pregnant with my son... kinda weird.
well thanks for letting me share any advice would be great
ann
well thanks for letting me share any advice would be great
ann
IBGECKO
06-08-2005, 02:06 PM
Ann,
Do a search for the JK Diet. We did it for about three weeks to purify my son's body, then added his favorite foods back one at a time to see if any triggered pulling. Sure enough, chocolate cake was a big culprit, so we are staying completely away from it until we have the Trich completely under control. Another thing that has helped is Strattera. Psychiatrists are now finding that it works as an anti-depressant. My son was on it for two years for ADD, and then a few months ago his psychiatrist took him off of it, and BOOM! The Trich started within a week of being taken off of Strattera. He has been back on it for about a month, and I would say that the Trich is at least 75% percent better. He is also in Cognitive Behavior Therapy, which is helping him learn to manage his anxiety and find alternatives to pulling. Rome wasn't built in a day, but his brows have completely grown back, and his lashes and scalp hair are about 25% regrown, so were getting there!
Do a search for the JK Diet. We did it for about three weeks to purify my son's body, then added his favorite foods back one at a time to see if any triggered pulling. Sure enough, chocolate cake was a big culprit, so we are staying completely away from it until we have the Trich completely under control. Another thing that has helped is Strattera. Psychiatrists are now finding that it works as an anti-depressant. My son was on it for two years for ADD, and then a few months ago his psychiatrist took him off of it, and BOOM! The Trich started within a week of being taken off of Strattera. He has been back on it for about a month, and I would say that the Trich is at least 75% percent better. He is also in Cognitive Behavior Therapy, which is helping him learn to manage his anxiety and find alternatives to pulling. Rome wasn't built in a day, but his brows have completely grown back, and his lashes and scalp hair are about 25% regrown, so were getting there!
whitewingdove
07-16-2006, 10:28 PM
hi,
oh thank God. i am not alone. i thot i was crazy. i'm so glad ya'll r out there. i've had trichotillomania since i was very little. basically my whole life. i'm 23. i pull out my eyelashes. i've been on luvox which is an ocd med for about a yr. now and have had no more problems except for when i go abit w/o it coz i can't afford to get it. i will pull them all out at night when i can't sleep coz i'm anxious about something and it does relax me and put me in a zone. i'm so glad there's ppl out there to talk to about this. i feel ashamed and weird and my partner tells me "just stop" but ppl don't understand that it's compulsive and i can't "just stop". i have to have my meds to not do it. i don't understand it and the results are devastating. in the morning i feel stupid, worthless, ugly, ashamed, and weird. and i just stay inside and cry and wonder why i'm like this. i also have bipolar disorder and anxiety disorder. i have to wear fake eyelashes which r a pain and if i'm in a real hurry and don't have time to put them on i have to wear very dark eyeshadow and eyeliner to try and hide it. but i still feel like everyone can tell and knows and thinks i'm wierd. and i hate it. it makes me depressed. i do good most of the time but like i said, sometimes i can't afford to get my refill and i do it again. how can i stop doing it without having meds. ne advice? thanx
much love,
dove:angel:
oh thank God. i am not alone. i thot i was crazy. i'm so glad ya'll r out there. i've had trichotillomania since i was very little. basically my whole life. i'm 23. i pull out my eyelashes. i've been on luvox which is an ocd med for about a yr. now and have had no more problems except for when i go abit w/o it coz i can't afford to get it. i will pull them all out at night when i can't sleep coz i'm anxious about something and it does relax me and put me in a zone. i'm so glad there's ppl out there to talk to about this. i feel ashamed and weird and my partner tells me "just stop" but ppl don't understand that it's compulsive and i can't "just stop". i have to have my meds to not do it. i don't understand it and the results are devastating. in the morning i feel stupid, worthless, ugly, ashamed, and weird. and i just stay inside and cry and wonder why i'm like this. i also have bipolar disorder and anxiety disorder. i have to wear fake eyelashes which r a pain and if i'm in a real hurry and don't have time to put them on i have to wear very dark eyeshadow and eyeliner to try and hide it. but i still feel like everyone can tell and knows and thinks i'm wierd. and i hate it. it makes me depressed. i do good most of the time but like i said, sometimes i can't afford to get my refill and i do it again. how can i stop doing it without having meds. ne advice? thanx
much love,
dove:angel:
whitewingdove
07-16-2006, 10:32 PM
oh, and i forgot to add that i also feel very angry. i'm so mad at myself after i do it that i sometimes feel like hurting myself. i used to b a cutter but am not nemore but it's hard not to after a trich episode.
gardenandcats
07-17-2006, 12:15 PM
I'm 49 and have had this problem since a very young child. I also of course have OCD which is under control pretty much with meds. But the hair pulling never goes away. I have the urge daily. I too have had many bald spots on my head and hate to get my hair cut as its very noticiable. Just reading this gives me the urge to pull!. Mine is mainly my hair. It just feels good to do it. My 16 year old son also has this problem mildly when under stress.
browneyed-babe
07-22-2006, 08:21 PM
Hi, I can relate to this issue. I have had this problem too since I was about 10yrs old. I had a stressful childhood and my brother and I both did this. He stopped but I never did. I am 36 now and still pull out my hair. I have graying hair on one area of my head as I always pull on the same area. Yes, it does relax me. Nobody beside my family and husband know I do this (exception of my hairdresser but I see her once a year). I have beautiful hair which I get complemented on almost daily - it is very unusual long curly hair. I keep it long - it is easy to hide my disorder. I am embarassed by it and don't trust anyone to talk about it so I have never received help. When I was young I pulled out eyelashes and eyebrows too but stopped that years ago and just pull my hair. My sister and mother sometimes see me do it and tell me to stop it and ask me if I am nervous - stress triggers this. Like the rest of you guys the urge is always there - I never knew this was OCD too. I already have the checking OCD as I can't relax unless I know the stove, water, and toilet etc.are off I count in 3's. My husband gets upset with me and tells me "can't you see they are off". I can't help it as I can't relax unless I check. I am not on meds as I don't tell my doctor about it and keep it a secret - I happy to see I am not alone.
I have to say in the last couple of days I have not pulled my hair out - I had to remind myself I actually have this disorder as I had forgotten about it. For the past few days I have been taking B vitamins. I take 1mg of folic acid every day (it is a B vitamin) - you can also take the mega B vitamin complex vitamin which has several B vitamins. I also drink a glass of soy milk enriched with B vitamins. Try this - it may work for you. It has only been 4 days for me now but it is working - finally - 26yrs later. I couldn't believe it and my husband noticed too.
I have to say in the last couple of days I have not pulled my hair out - I had to remind myself I actually have this disorder as I had forgotten about it. For the past few days I have been taking B vitamins. I take 1mg of folic acid every day (it is a B vitamin) - you can also take the mega B vitamin complex vitamin which has several B vitamins. I also drink a glass of soy milk enriched with B vitamins. Try this - it may work for you. It has only been 4 days for me now but it is working - finally - 26yrs later. I couldn't believe it and my husband noticed too.