hi
well this isnt a pretty story but I really cant find myself just casually bringing this up over coffee with friends and acquaintences. I mean, I guess I could but the sting of it all is a bit too fresh. I just found out that my brother is HIV+ and has been for 13 years. Well, that's one thing in itself....but how this information was revealed is where this gets ugly. He was in visiting with his partner of 6 years. He was looking at a home with my father when all of a sudden, he had a seizure. The ambulance was called and rushed him to the hospital. My parents and my brother's partner were getting him all checked into the hospital when my father looks at my brother's partner ( steven ) and asks him, "Should we tell the doctors about his HIV status or would you like to?" ...well, Steven looks puzzled and says, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WE ARE NEGATIVE!" ...well, at that moment, my parents wanted to crawl in a hole and die....they had just realized that my brother had never offered this info to his partner of 6 years. I guess they assumed he knew. They live out of state so its not like there is many encounters for it to come up and I suppose they figured my brother was honest with steven when they met. Well, needless to say, steven flew home immediately and got tested. sure enough he is positive as well. they live in Atlanta and turns out my brother has been a severe alcoholic for the last 13 years. When he was stable in the hospital, my parents confronted him with his actions. He was then checked into a treatment facility for addiction. And that is when i found out about all of this. He has had NO TREATMENT for his HIV status at all since he found out. I guess he was in denial. I have mixed feelings about all of this. I go from being angry at what he did to his partner to feeling very sorry for him ( AND steven ) .... here are my questions....1. are seizures a sign that HIV may have progressed into AIDS? I dont know what his T-Cell count is or very much more than what I just wrote. Also, could he be arrested? I mean, he basically assaulted his lover with a deadly weapon....this is an ugly situation, its very tragic.
concerned sister :confused:

I don't know much about this situation, but I'll do my best to offer what advice I can. (Friends, feel free to correct me if i'm wrong) To my knowledge, if someone knowingly infects someone else with HIV,they can have civil lawsuits and criminal charges brought against them. Of course, in a court of law, it depends on the alleged guilty parties intent etc etc. There can be many reasons as to why the situation occured as it did. As for the seizures, I know late HIV/Aids can affect your neurology,which could possibly cause seizsures,but it could be from his addiciton as well, or just a simple seizure without cause.
I wish you the best of luck with your situation. IF you ever want to talk or just to vent, please feel free. There are a number of caring and knowledgeable people on this board.
God Bless
-Sarah

thanks sarah, I was actually preparing myself for a ton of responses telling me how horrid my brother is for doing what he did.... and feeling defensive. ( although there IS no defense ) anyways, I appreciate the info.
Lacey

I have a friend who has been HIV for several years, though I can't tell you whether he knowingly infected someone else. However, he has refused treatment, because the initial regimen of meds "made him sick." Now, not having received any treatment, he is slowly progressing to "full-blown AIDS." No matter how many times we begged him, so matter what arguments he wouldn't be treated.

This is such a difficult position to be in and part of me wants to scream in anger because of the life I see him throwing away. And, another part, wants to understand deeply this decision he has made, intelligently and of his own volition.

I think that what happens with some AIDS patient who refuse treatment is that they become so overwhelmed with despair and the symbolism and "metaphors" of the disease, that they simply cannot accept anything but what they feel is going to be the inevitable outcome.

The only thing I can suggest is that I would suspect that your brother is feeling overwhelmed and despairing. He needs your love and your patience, kindness and generous spirit. My prayers and thoughts will be with you and him and his partner. Chris

thanks chris,
i suspect you are right about how my brother may have been feeling all these years. Im sorry abou tyour friend as well, but as you said...he made his own decision and I guess we can only respect that.

hypo30, I don't know much regarding what you've asked about seizures and being arrested for knowingly infecting someone. But, I just want you to know I'm thinking of you and your family and Steve as well.

God bless.