i have herpes. i'm not having an outbreak at all right now. if i have sex with my partner(without a condom), are the chances of him getting herpes the same as if i were having an outbreak. or is it less likely he will get it? :confused:

This is prolly one of the weirdest aspect of genital herpes. Streching from having an outbreak every month to not having an out break at all. Depending on person to person herpes virus reacts differently. For example the virus might get active in you any second and it may not get so in years, so it depends on your partner and his immune system as to how it reacts to the virus, and perhaps many many people dont even know if they are carriers of Herpes virus(who knows if your partner is already infected)
I personally think herpes is most dangerous in females during normal Vaginal delivery. This is something every female should be contious to.

Besh wishes and good luck.

The short answer is NO. The chances of infecting him are LESS if you are not having an outbreak at the time. Whenever you have an oubtreak, the virus is present in large amounts on the skin making you very contagious. However, there is still a chance of infecting someone even when you aren't having an outbreak because the virus periodically sheds and is present in small amounts on the skin...only you won't know when this is happening.

In short, you should never have sex with him while you have an outbreak. The rest of the time you should use protection and possibly suppressive therapy.

well like i said i wasnt having an outbreak at all. when we were having sex he rubbed his penis all over my vagina and anus...umm i shave down there completely and the next morning when i got home i had like two or three painful itchy bumps by my anus sort of. i'm really confused. it seems like herpes looks different sometimes. like my first outbreak, there were no bumps it was just ALL burning really bad then a whole bunch of pimple looking bumps appeared. and some look like white spots. it's weird how different it looks...or is it just me? and what about the bumps i have now, do you think i was on an outbreak but couldnt see the bumps until i had sex? PLEASE REPLY EVEN IF YOU ONLY HAVE A FAINT IDEA OF WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT.

Also to add to the other posts, it is harder for a man to get herpes than it is a woman. Not to say it doesnt happen, it does, its just not as easy to give it to a guy I guess because of the skin.
Anyway onto your question . . . . Mine are constantly different! The first time I had 3 things that look like I got riped from rough sex. Anohter time it was a actualy blister, one time it was just 3 open sores that eventually went away, another looked like a white head, then turned into a sore and went away. Sorry for being graphic. And sometimes its just red and really really itchy! So yes, it can be different! Did you tell him before you let him do this?

you seem really nice. i was just wondering how long you had herpes if you dont think im bein nosey. it's just that i feel so alone, so gross, and every time i see a guy looking at me i feel sort of unhuman. like he doesn't know what he's looking at. i mean i have normal self-esteem but i just got this in may. my immediate family knows about it and i feel so bad around them. if i knew someone else who had it besides the creep who lied and gave it to me i would feel better. i just wonder what do you do to make it feel better emotionally. oh and the guy i was talking about in my post knows everything about me. we've been off and on for almost two years now. but my other question that i didnt really ask in my post is...the guy and i thought that i wasn't on an outbreak so we had sex. but the next morning i had like 2 or 3 bumps with no white on them. and they hurt and they are closest to my butt. so i was think that maybe i was actually having an outbreak and sex just made it more visable? because i heard not to have ANY sex while having one. maybe because it gets passed on or maybe because it makes you worse? becausemy first outbreak was just a big rash by my butt. then my bf at the time (the guy who passed it 2 me) had sex with me and then the next day i had alot of the pimple looking bumps on me. and then i had sex and wake up next day with bumps. i wondered if that had a connection. i know this is a long post. if you have read this far thanks! lol....