spriggy
06-06-2005, 11:17 PM
I'm having a hard time grasping this "bipolar" diagnosis I was given back in March.
Let me give you some history so you can see where I am coming from.
I do have a family history of bipolar- my paternal grandmother was bipolar and ended up committing suicide, my father is also bipolar. My maternal grandmother is also bipolar, and my mother- although not bp, has been diagnosed with severe anxiety disorder.
So I definitely have a family history thing going on.
I am 27 years old and never had any mental health issues up until this past December. I've been married 7 years so my husband could attest to my mental state prior to this time.
I got very sick in December with a fever, high white count, yeast infection, etc.. In the same month, I had my first of 3 panic attacks. My dr. then decides to put me on Lexapro (all the while I am still running this constant fever!).
So I go on Lexapro and about week 5 on it, I totally and completely wig out. I had some hallucinations, felt very weird- like I was almost "not real" or coming out of my body. I felt like what I would imagine a bad acid trip to feel like.
I then become extremely suicidal for the first time in my whole life (never dealth wtih depression prior to the Lexapro). I was not only suicidal but I was constantly going through cycles of moods each day- I would go from almost euphoric and happy, to severe anxiety and the deepest depression I have ever known.
I constantly thought of killing myself during this time (which is completely unlike my character and nature).
Finally, after my husband realized something bad was wrong with me, he took me to the hospital and they put me in the psych ward for 4 days. The psychiatrist, took me off of Lexapro and started giving me Ativan and Xanex. He told me I was having a bad reaction to SSRI's and called it "akathasia." He did not think I had a mental health disorder, just a bad central nervous system reaction to the Lexapro.
During my whole time in that hospital, I continued with this fever and feeling "flu like." At this point it's February.
I go back to my General doctor after leaving the hospital and start feeling back to normal (mentally) but still feel very crummy physically ( I had been totally healthy up to this point- even running 3 miles per day).
My doctor seems to think it's all a mental health issue and tells me I am bipolar.
I told him I disagree considering I had NO PRIOR history of this type of behavior until I was put on Lexapro-- AND I know full well what bipolar looks like, I lived with bp father for 20 years- I have no similar patterns to him.
So, he wants me on Lamictal, Klonopin, Restoril (and even tried for Seroquel but i refused). I just didn't feel the need for all these brain drugs when at this point, I am just feeling physically sick.
I get fed up with him and go to an internal medicine doctor who runs blood work and realizes I have lost 20 pounds in 4 months, am having chronic fevers, and am having serious joint aches.
He discovers my ANA is elevated and believes I have lupus. He sends me on to a neurologist who diagnosis me with fibromyalgia as well as lupus.
So here I am with all these strange diagnosis and this "bipolar" thing still lingering in the air. When I read about lupus, it talked about mental/mood disturbances.
Other than having panic attacks in December, I had never been depressed in my life until that Lexapro. I think that medicine just whacked me out.
I don't know. I am just still trying to cope with all these new things I am learning about my health and it's tough.
I have not been on any medication for bipolar since April and I have been totally fine. I have occasional anxiety/racing mind but nothing major (but you must know that I have autistic child, my house flooded, my dad is dying, my husband lost his job, and I have been physically sick.. who wouldn't have anxiety?).
I don't know what I'm asking for. I suppose just to hear some feedback if any of you think I sound bipolar. It just confuses me because I thought if you were bipolar you experienced extreme high's and low's (my father and grandmother's did) but I have never experienced either until the Lexapro.
Just curious what you all think. Thanks for listening.
Let me give you some history so you can see where I am coming from.
I do have a family history of bipolar- my paternal grandmother was bipolar and ended up committing suicide, my father is also bipolar. My maternal grandmother is also bipolar, and my mother- although not bp, has been diagnosed with severe anxiety disorder.
So I definitely have a family history thing going on.
I am 27 years old and never had any mental health issues up until this past December. I've been married 7 years so my husband could attest to my mental state prior to this time.
I got very sick in December with a fever, high white count, yeast infection, etc.. In the same month, I had my first of 3 panic attacks. My dr. then decides to put me on Lexapro (all the while I am still running this constant fever!).
So I go on Lexapro and about week 5 on it, I totally and completely wig out. I had some hallucinations, felt very weird- like I was almost "not real" or coming out of my body. I felt like what I would imagine a bad acid trip to feel like.
I then become extremely suicidal for the first time in my whole life (never dealth wtih depression prior to the Lexapro). I was not only suicidal but I was constantly going through cycles of moods each day- I would go from almost euphoric and happy, to severe anxiety and the deepest depression I have ever known.
I constantly thought of killing myself during this time (which is completely unlike my character and nature).
Finally, after my husband realized something bad was wrong with me, he took me to the hospital and they put me in the psych ward for 4 days. The psychiatrist, took me off of Lexapro and started giving me Ativan and Xanex. He told me I was having a bad reaction to SSRI's and called it "akathasia." He did not think I had a mental health disorder, just a bad central nervous system reaction to the Lexapro.
During my whole time in that hospital, I continued with this fever and feeling "flu like." At this point it's February.
I go back to my General doctor after leaving the hospital and start feeling back to normal (mentally) but still feel very crummy physically ( I had been totally healthy up to this point- even running 3 miles per day).
My doctor seems to think it's all a mental health issue and tells me I am bipolar.
I told him I disagree considering I had NO PRIOR history of this type of behavior until I was put on Lexapro-- AND I know full well what bipolar looks like, I lived with bp father for 20 years- I have no similar patterns to him.
So, he wants me on Lamictal, Klonopin, Restoril (and even tried for Seroquel but i refused). I just didn't feel the need for all these brain drugs when at this point, I am just feeling physically sick.
I get fed up with him and go to an internal medicine doctor who runs blood work and realizes I have lost 20 pounds in 4 months, am having chronic fevers, and am having serious joint aches.
He discovers my ANA is elevated and believes I have lupus. He sends me on to a neurologist who diagnosis me with fibromyalgia as well as lupus.
So here I am with all these strange diagnosis and this "bipolar" thing still lingering in the air. When I read about lupus, it talked about mental/mood disturbances.
Other than having panic attacks in December, I had never been depressed in my life until that Lexapro. I think that medicine just whacked me out.
I don't know. I am just still trying to cope with all these new things I am learning about my health and it's tough.
I have not been on any medication for bipolar since April and I have been totally fine. I have occasional anxiety/racing mind but nothing major (but you must know that I have autistic child, my house flooded, my dad is dying, my husband lost his job, and I have been physically sick.. who wouldn't have anxiety?).
I don't know what I'm asking for. I suppose just to hear some feedback if any of you think I sound bipolar. It just confuses me because I thought if you were bipolar you experienced extreme high's and low's (my father and grandmother's did) but I have never experienced either until the Lexapro.
Just curious what you all think. Thanks for listening.
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Zbaby
06-07-2005, 12:43 AM
spriggy - you are right to question the BP diagnosis. While it's entirely possible that the onset of BP has happened late in life, somehow I doubt it. Meds can really throw a person for a loop, especially if they're to treat a problem that may or may not exist. Example: Buspar made me dizzy and unable to hold my balance after only 2 days on it. My GP prescribed it because he was convinced I had an anxiety disorder, and he describe it as a drug with very mild side effects. Now I only go to p-docs for meds because what to GPs know when it's not their specialty?
A lot of physical illnesses can bring on mental disturbances, either thru body chemistry or the agony of the condition. For your sake, I hope it's not lupus -- you don't need any more bad news to add to the pot.
Considering all that's going on in your life, I'm not surprised you've had anxiety issues. Stress can do a real number on your health -- so it's important that you take care of yourself. You'll be able to take care of your father, husband, child and house with much more ease if you first take care of yourself.
Keep on questioning the quality of your medical care and validity of advice given. If everyone did this, we'd all live healthier lives and inadequate docs would be out of business. As long as people behave like sheep, inadequate docs will have a steady income stream.
My theory - one or more of your docs was not asking enough questions and cross-referencing with diagnoses from other docs. But don't get me started on the American health care system...that's a board unto itself :)
Thanks for sharing. I hope this helps.
A lot of physical illnesses can bring on mental disturbances, either thru body chemistry or the agony of the condition. For your sake, I hope it's not lupus -- you don't need any more bad news to add to the pot.
Considering all that's going on in your life, I'm not surprised you've had anxiety issues. Stress can do a real number on your health -- so it's important that you take care of yourself. You'll be able to take care of your father, husband, child and house with much more ease if you first take care of yourself.
Keep on questioning the quality of your medical care and validity of advice given. If everyone did this, we'd all live healthier lives and inadequate docs would be out of business. As long as people behave like sheep, inadequate docs will have a steady income stream.
My theory - one or more of your docs was not asking enough questions and cross-referencing with diagnoses from other docs. But don't get me started on the American health care system...that's a board unto itself :)
Thanks for sharing. I hope this helps.
Ruth6:11
06-07-2005, 09:01 PM
Medication CAN trigger Type III Bipolar Disorder they say, but I'd be hard pressed to diagnose anyone!! It sounds like you've got alot of stuff all going on at the same time and that makes it difficult for even the doctors.
And you are correct - with untreated Bipolar you would experience lows and either extreme highs (manias) or not so extreme highs (hypomania) but there will be a cycle... If possible and safe to do so, it might be interesting to go off all mood type drugs to see what happens when you are just being treated for the fibromyalgia & lupus...
The family background would sure make me NOT rule out some sort of mood disorder though too quickly..
:angel:
And you are correct - with untreated Bipolar you would experience lows and either extreme highs (manias) or not so extreme highs (hypomania) but there will be a cycle... If possible and safe to do so, it might be interesting to go off all mood type drugs to see what happens when you are just being treated for the fibromyalgia & lupus...
The family background would sure make me NOT rule out some sort of mood disorder though too quickly..
:angel:
tracie99
06-07-2005, 11:30 PM
I am Kinda in the same boat with you I have alot of stress, but had panic and anxiety for years now they say I am bipolar I don't think I am but I am taking the meds I guess it can't hurt to try, I paid the pdoc to help me I should let him try I don't have any symptoms that I can tell not like I read about.Anyway I know how you feel I can't give you any advice because I can't help myself but if you need a friend or want to chat I can do that.Good luck to you please keep us posted on how you are feeling.
antimatter
06-08-2005, 12:52 PM
Did they check your thyroid function? Thyroid disease can cause both physical and mental malfunction.