Ever since I was a kid I've used counting/memory games/mental list-making to take myself out of traumatic and abusive situations. But the last few months its gone haywire. I cant stop counting things, and making lists. Every time I feel a little stressed or upset or bad my brain starts listing, for example, states and capitals in alphabetical order. If I get one wrong I have to start all over again, and I can spend hours of my day doing things like this in my head, which makes me feel worse, and makes the counting worse.

I feel like I'm losing my mind and I'm too ashamed to tell my psychiatrist. I think he's starting to cotton on because the other morning I was so engrossed in counting the ceiling tiles in his waiting room I didnt hear him for a few minutes when he spoke to me. I outright denied doing it when he asked about it. I'm so afraid and I have no idea what to do. I dont even go out anymore because counting my steps is so hard.

Can medication makes this stop? I'm on Remeron right now, and actually started it right around when this got suddenly worse, can an AD do that? Before that I was on Zoloft but that didnt help my depression.