kbatten278
06-09-2005, 09:16 AM
Hi, i am new to this board...so glad i found it.. i was dx'd bipolar 13 yrs ago. I have been on meds for it for 10 of them. Even with the meds i swing. Sometimes very severly. I can swing very quickly. I recently spent some time in the hospital because of this , I used to be very aware of my disorder and what was going on with it. I learned how to read the signs of the manic and the depressions coming on. I left a 17 yr marraige last yr. I was told at the time i was manic by many but i didn't believe them. Now that i look i most likely was. Nothing i can do about that now though. I am currently with someone who doesn't understand the disorder, who really hasn't tried and is very verbally abusive. I am getting out of this relationship soon but it has taken me back to step one as far as mental health is concerened. I am depressed, stressed, and can't believe i let myself get so mentally unhealthy again, how do i get healthier????? how do i get the will to carry on back? i really need some advice here.
thanks
kbatten278
thanks
kbatten278
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thebinkle
06-09-2005, 11:38 AM
of this new abusive relationship STAT. Even if you had NO mental illness and had it all "together," it is never a good idea for ANYBODY newly divorced to jump right back into another relationship for at LEAST A YEAR after the divorce is final. You need time to grieve the old relationship and heal! Also, time to get to know what you really want and think about what mistakes you made in your choices when you picked that person.
Meanwhile, yes, you are going to feel BAD with a capital B. I left my abusive, alcoholic husband of six years in 1990. My diagnosis at the time was Borderline Personality Disorder, but I had my first manic episode that Thanksgiving. I had NO support group, had just started a new job, and was living totally alone in a tiny apartment. I was hospitalized with a complete and total nervous breakdown after a six-week manic episode (not a happy one, just one where I couldn't sleep and I was horribly afraid). Over the next three years I worked hard at stabilizing myself at my new job, met a new man, and married him in 1993. He understands my illness completely and supports me, although it isn't always easy. We have a nine-year-old daughter and SHE has been versed in my illness since she was old enough to walk. I hadn't been hospitalized since 1990 when I had her in 1996, as I was doing so well, but severe postpartum depression seem to bring everything all back. I was only able to maintain my job till June 1997, then I had to go on disability. I was in and out of hospitals for five years after that, but have managed to stay out for three years now. My daughter is doing great but my ability to concentrate is limited by my meds, etc.
Sorry, blabbing about MYSELF! Yes, you will feel bad, but the important thing is that you find a SUPPORT group. Also, check out if anybody in your area does EMDR therapy. It's supposed to be very helpful! Also, I know it doesn't feel like, but this horrible time in your life WILL END. I am living proof.
Good luck and god bless! :wave:
Meanwhile, yes, you are going to feel BAD with a capital B. I left my abusive, alcoholic husband of six years in 1990. My diagnosis at the time was Borderline Personality Disorder, but I had my first manic episode that Thanksgiving. I had NO support group, had just started a new job, and was living totally alone in a tiny apartment. I was hospitalized with a complete and total nervous breakdown after a six-week manic episode (not a happy one, just one where I couldn't sleep and I was horribly afraid). Over the next three years I worked hard at stabilizing myself at my new job, met a new man, and married him in 1993. He understands my illness completely and supports me, although it isn't always easy. We have a nine-year-old daughter and SHE has been versed in my illness since she was old enough to walk. I hadn't been hospitalized since 1990 when I had her in 1996, as I was doing so well, but severe postpartum depression seem to bring everything all back. I was only able to maintain my job till June 1997, then I had to go on disability. I was in and out of hospitals for five years after that, but have managed to stay out for three years now. My daughter is doing great but my ability to concentrate is limited by my meds, etc.
Sorry, blabbing about MYSELF! Yes, you will feel bad, but the important thing is that you find a SUPPORT group. Also, check out if anybody in your area does EMDR therapy. It's supposed to be very helpful! Also, I know it doesn't feel like, but this horrible time in your life WILL END. I am living proof.
Good luck and god bless! :wave:
Jovial206
06-09-2005, 12:33 PM
I left a 17 yr marraige last yr. I was told at the time i was manic by many but i didn't believe them. Now that i look i most likely was.
Were you manic when you got married or when you left the marriage?
The best advice I can give you (I don't have this disorder) is to consult with your psych doctor ASAP. Get out of that abusive relationship ASAP. Be thankful that you realize you need help.
Were you manic when you got married or when you left the marriage?
The best advice I can give you (I don't have this disorder) is to consult with your psych doctor ASAP. Get out of that abusive relationship ASAP. Be thankful that you realize you need help.
kbatten278
06-09-2005, 10:53 PM
Hi,
I believe i was manic when i left. I made some really bad decisions when i wasn't in the right state of mind and thought i was. I have been taking my meds but since i got out of the hospital i started taking them correctly and learned they are not right. When i get back home to kids i will have them checked and adjusted. I am in a situation that i really can't leave right now. I have a injury from work and have to wait for workmans comp court next week and then for my check they owe me. I found out today that my journal has been gotten into on my computer, even though i had it password protected... i am very upset by this. i have no privacy.. i am not going to whine but i feel i have no one to really talk to about this stuff. I decided to go back into therapy when i get home also. Home is where i call my kids btw. I have to get back right in my head. This last hospital visit i almost lost my life. I didn't want to die but when i think about it i wrote a letter to my kids so i guess i did. I am ashamed of what i did. I take responsibility for taking the pills but i was basically pushed over the edge so i fault him to. I asked and asked and asked for him to leave me alone. he wouldn't .. all that runs through my head over and over is how crazy i am, how unstable i am, how hard it is to live with me, stuff like that...i know i shouldn't have left home but why did i deserve this???
Thank you for listening
kb
I believe i was manic when i left. I made some really bad decisions when i wasn't in the right state of mind and thought i was. I have been taking my meds but since i got out of the hospital i started taking them correctly and learned they are not right. When i get back home to kids i will have them checked and adjusted. I am in a situation that i really can't leave right now. I have a injury from work and have to wait for workmans comp court next week and then for my check they owe me. I found out today that my journal has been gotten into on my computer, even though i had it password protected... i am very upset by this. i have no privacy.. i am not going to whine but i feel i have no one to really talk to about this stuff. I decided to go back into therapy when i get home also. Home is where i call my kids btw. I have to get back right in my head. This last hospital visit i almost lost my life. I didn't want to die but when i think about it i wrote a letter to my kids so i guess i did. I am ashamed of what i did. I take responsibility for taking the pills but i was basically pushed over the edge so i fault him to. I asked and asked and asked for him to leave me alone. he wouldn't .. all that runs through my head over and over is how crazy i am, how unstable i am, how hard it is to live with me, stuff like that...i know i shouldn't have left home but why did i deserve this???
Thank you for listening
kb