Zbaby
06-11-2005, 04:16 AM
Please identify your diagnosis and predominant mood.
What finally tipped you (or someone who told you) off that you have BP?
What finally tipped you (or someone who told you) off that you have BP?
Sponsor
Zbaby
06-11-2005, 04:25 AM
BP 2 / Depressive
Two years of mostly positive change - relocation, a new house, a new business, a new baby and a new job - sent me over the edge into an almost constant depression. This drove me to seek more help from the p-doc and be completely honest about my occasional denial of mania and my role in some of the problems I always blamed on other people.
Whole story: I went in for a check-up after staying up all night doing God-knows-what in a tremendous state of euphoria. I was convinced that I was getting out of my depression and told him I'm doing much better. A day later I'm morbidly depressed again and DH forces me to go back to him with the whole story. The diagnosis was made during my next visit, much to my chagrin and initial disbelief.
Two years of mostly positive change - relocation, a new house, a new business, a new baby and a new job - sent me over the edge into an almost constant depression. This drove me to seek more help from the p-doc and be completely honest about my occasional denial of mania and my role in some of the problems I always blamed on other people.
Whole story: I went in for a check-up after staying up all night doing God-knows-what in a tremendous state of euphoria. I was convinced that I was getting out of my depression and told him I'm doing much better. A day later I'm morbidly depressed again and DH forces me to go back to him with the whole story. The diagnosis was made during my next visit, much to my chagrin and initial disbelief.
goofyafter2
06-11-2005, 07:21 AM
bp 2 -depressed
I had a child in July of last year. I was diagnosed post partum depression in August. Took paxil then prozac (on and off). Felt pretty crazy = finally took a whole bunch of pills and went to the hospital (for a panic attack). I was admitted and diagnosed there. Of course I got a second opinion within a month of my release and ditto.
I had a child in July of last year. I was diagnosed post partum depression in August. Took paxil then prozac (on and off). Felt pretty crazy = finally took a whole bunch of pills and went to the hospital (for a panic attack). I was admitted and diagnosed there. Of course I got a second opinion within a month of my release and ditto.
Zbaby
06-11-2005, 09:54 PM
bp 2 -depressed
I had a child in July of last year. I was diagnosed post partum depression in August. Took paxil then prozac (on and off). Felt pretty crazy = finally took a whole bunch of pills and went to the hospital (for a panic attack). I was admitted and diagnosed there. Of course I got a second opinion within a month of my release and ditto.
Goofyafter2 - I think the hormones from pregnancy did a number on me, too. Pregnancy and early motherhood can scramble the brain chemistry of women, especially those who already have some form of mental illness. I got pregnant in March '03, and I've had to consciously battle with BP ever since. The first 6 months of my son's life I was exhibiting the euphoria of mania and the unmotivated and sluggish behavior of depression. The rest of the time was mainly depression.
Had you ever been diagnosed as depressed prior to the baby? It's such an odd occurence that everyone celebrates birth and young motherhood, yet the mom has all of these morbid thoughts that sometimes turn into suicide attempts. And the typical self-doubt as new parents is multiplied by 1000x so we convince ourselves that our husbands and children would be better off without the burden of a useless mother. Does any of this sound familiar?
How are you coping now, GA2? Do you have a strong network of friends and family to help out when you need a break?
I had a child in July of last year. I was diagnosed post partum depression in August. Took paxil then prozac (on and off). Felt pretty crazy = finally took a whole bunch of pills and went to the hospital (for a panic attack). I was admitted and diagnosed there. Of course I got a second opinion within a month of my release and ditto.
Goofyafter2 - I think the hormones from pregnancy did a number on me, too. Pregnancy and early motherhood can scramble the brain chemistry of women, especially those who already have some form of mental illness. I got pregnant in March '03, and I've had to consciously battle with BP ever since. The first 6 months of my son's life I was exhibiting the euphoria of mania and the unmotivated and sluggish behavior of depression. The rest of the time was mainly depression.
Had you ever been diagnosed as depressed prior to the baby? It's such an odd occurence that everyone celebrates birth and young motherhood, yet the mom has all of these morbid thoughts that sometimes turn into suicide attempts. And the typical self-doubt as new parents is multiplied by 1000x so we convince ourselves that our husbands and children would be better off without the burden of a useless mother. Does any of this sound familiar?
How are you coping now, GA2? Do you have a strong network of friends and family to help out when you need a break?
vo-5
06-11-2005, 11:27 PM
BP 2; Mania, rages, depression. Pretty severe...all three.
kathryn00
06-12-2005, 02:19 AM
I was at a Phish show at The Gorge. I remember hallucinating and thinking somebody put something in my drink.
Then, we went to Seattle. I remember thinking "this is the place", like my intuition was talking to me. We missed the ferry to Alaska because I needed to buy some stuff for the trip and was side-tracked by all of the pretty things in the shops.
The people in Seattle were very hostile and I had learned a way to communicate with them. (Which to this day, I swear works.) I had everyone in the hotel saying hello to each other and was giving out blow-pops. I was in hippie mode from the Phish show and only thought of love and peace.
Anyway, when it came time to leave, I was fighting with my sister about waiting until the next day. The hotel manager got involved and recognized my symptoms because her daughter was bi-polar. They called the local hospital and it was either go with them or go with the police. I opted for the hospital (thank god!).
To this day, I learned a great deal about how to communicate with others and I also learned that tension is the main problem for people today. I only hope I become stable enough to do something with it.
Kathryn
ps I am originally from Georgia, so my parents had to fly out to Seattle for the two weeks I was in the hospital.
Then, we went to Seattle. I remember thinking "this is the place", like my intuition was talking to me. We missed the ferry to Alaska because I needed to buy some stuff for the trip and was side-tracked by all of the pretty things in the shops.
The people in Seattle were very hostile and I had learned a way to communicate with them. (Which to this day, I swear works.) I had everyone in the hotel saying hello to each other and was giving out blow-pops. I was in hippie mode from the Phish show and only thought of love and peace.
Anyway, when it came time to leave, I was fighting with my sister about waiting until the next day. The hotel manager got involved and recognized my symptoms because her daughter was bi-polar. They called the local hospital and it was either go with them or go with the police. I opted for the hospital (thank god!).
To this day, I learned a great deal about how to communicate with others and I also learned that tension is the main problem for people today. I only hope I become stable enough to do something with it.
Kathryn
ps I am originally from Georgia, so my parents had to fly out to Seattle for the two weeks I was in the hospital.
Zbaby
06-12-2005, 03:19 AM
Kathryn, V-05, and GA2 - Thanks for the responses. I'm sensing a pattern that BP often goes unchecked until a person is hospitalized and finally diagnosed. I wound up in a hospital, too, mainly because my parents and I were clueless and the symptoms got worse during my adolescence. And even then, everyone thought it was depression, BP wasn't even considered.
Do you think this would be any different if BP stopped being so taboo and people became more educated about it? Sometimes I wish mainstream society would emphasize the importance of self-awareness and psychology. Instead of Psych 101 being an option in college, it might do a lot more good if it was a mandatory subject in jr. high or the first year of high school. I'm not saying that trips to the hospital are completely avoidable, but I do think we'd all be better equipped if we knew what the signs of an episode are early on. Thoughts, anyone?
Do you think this would be any different if BP stopped being so taboo and people became more educated about it? Sometimes I wish mainstream society would emphasize the importance of self-awareness and psychology. Instead of Psych 101 being an option in college, it might do a lot more good if it was a mandatory subject in jr. high or the first year of high school. I'm not saying that trips to the hospital are completely avoidable, but I do think we'd all be better equipped if we knew what the signs of an episode are early on. Thoughts, anyone?
Travis420
06-13-2005, 06:46 PM
Zbaby
I think having Psych 101 as a required class in high school would be a great idea. :D
Me too; I was sent to the hospital for two weeks last Feb. I was sent out cause I threaten to commit suicide at the meth clinic. I was diagnosed with BP 2. I haven't been going to the psych lately so I don't know yet if I'm more manic or depressive.
Travis
I think having Psych 101 as a required class in high school would be a great idea. :D
Me too; I was sent to the hospital for two weeks last Feb. I was sent out cause I threaten to commit suicide at the meth clinic. I was diagnosed with BP 2. I haven't been going to the psych lately so I don't know yet if I'm more manic or depressive.
Travis
angelblue65
06-14-2005, 10:34 AM
I guess I can add the other side to this question - how I found out my SO has BP. We had been dating a couple of weeks (and it was an intense couple of weeks). My BF has since told me that he only chose to tell women he was dating when he saw that it could go somewhere. To be honest, I don't remember too much about him telling me. I just remember we were sitting out on my front porch at night. In fact, we were just talking about this the other day and how he hates having to go through "the talk" with women he was dating never knowing what the reaction would be. Some that he conveyed were pretty ignorant. I asked him what I did because I couldn't remember. He said I just said "oh" got up, bent down and hugged him and kissed him on the check and said it wasn't a problem.
I'm curious how your "talks" went with your SO's? I can imagine it must be difficult.
Interesting thread...........
I'm curious how your "talks" went with your SO's? I can imagine it must be difficult.
Interesting thread...........
Derangea
06-14-2005, 10:51 AM
Bipolar II -
I was originally diagnosed as having Borderline Personality Disorder when I was 18. I was hospitalized for quite some time. Then when I went to college and got a boyfriend I started having alot more ups, downs, and paranoia. My sleep paralysis happened ALOT more. I became more and more suspicious of people intents. Then I had a couple suicide attempts, switched doctors and thats when I decided to go on mood stabalizers because he thought that bipolar was the main problem. Bipolar meaning that my "ups" were usually anxiety based. I get panic attacks for no reason.
I was originally diagnosed as having Borderline Personality Disorder when I was 18. I was hospitalized for quite some time. Then when I went to college and got a boyfriend I started having alot more ups, downs, and paranoia. My sleep paralysis happened ALOT more. I became more and more suspicious of people intents. Then I had a couple suicide attempts, switched doctors and thats when I decided to go on mood stabalizers because he thought that bipolar was the main problem. Bipolar meaning that my "ups" were usually anxiety based. I get panic attacks for no reason.
Zbaby
06-14-2005, 12:51 PM
Derangea - I've got a friend who has an anxiety disorder, too. Hers manifests itself in irrational fears, such as driving on highways. She has a hard time even when her husband drives and she's a passenger. You can imagine how crippling that can be when you live in L.A. where everything is so spread out. Of course, she's been a nervous person since the day I met her 16 years ago. No sign of bipolar, though. It sounds as if you had at least 3-5 years before you were properly diagnosed. Typical time lapse between first symptoms and diagnosis averages 10 years.
Does anyone else get bitter that you spent so much time in turmoil and no one, not even you or your p-doc, could figure out what was wrong until you were diagnosed? I spent my 20's with BP, making poor dating choices, not fully connecting with friends, having a spotty career record -- it's like Brando said, "I could've been somebody," if I'd only found meds earlier!
Angel - I was lucky because I thankfully was normal enough for a while to build a good relationship with my now-husband. He was extremely supportive when he realized I had a history of depression. We were already married with a child on the way when I REALLY had a rough two-year period that was pronounced enough to indicate BP to my p-doc. I felt so sorry for him, but he was willing to hold out until he got the old me back. He coped pretty well with catatonic me who just wanted to stay home with the baby and never go back to work -- and manic me needed more stimulation from a work environment, which produced constant inner conflict.
My husband did take a while to ask me to marry him -- despite my numerous hints and pointing out that we'd make a good team for life. I'm sure his hesitation had something to do with my emotional stability. That, and my enormous credit debt :D Which, by the way, was paid off before we got engaged.
God bless SOs like you and Mudhound for taking a chance on people like us. It's proof that sometimes love really does conquer all, despite some fierce battles.
Does anyone else get bitter that you spent so much time in turmoil and no one, not even you or your p-doc, could figure out what was wrong until you were diagnosed? I spent my 20's with BP, making poor dating choices, not fully connecting with friends, having a spotty career record -- it's like Brando said, "I could've been somebody," if I'd only found meds earlier!
Angel - I was lucky because I thankfully was normal enough for a while to build a good relationship with my now-husband. He was extremely supportive when he realized I had a history of depression. We were already married with a child on the way when I REALLY had a rough two-year period that was pronounced enough to indicate BP to my p-doc. I felt so sorry for him, but he was willing to hold out until he got the old me back. He coped pretty well with catatonic me who just wanted to stay home with the baby and never go back to work -- and manic me needed more stimulation from a work environment, which produced constant inner conflict.
My husband did take a while to ask me to marry him -- despite my numerous hints and pointing out that we'd make a good team for life. I'm sure his hesitation had something to do with my emotional stability. That, and my enormous credit debt :D Which, by the way, was paid off before we got engaged.
God bless SOs like you and Mudhound for taking a chance on people like us. It's proof that sometimes love really does conquer all, despite some fierce battles.