moonshadow
06-12-2005, 04:39 PM
its been 4 days since i miscarried at 8 weeks. at first i was numb, no real emotion, just quietness.
now... i cant do it, how do i deal with this stuff in my head, the coiled spring in my body, the need to scream and shout and blame the world.
i need to get it out...
i should have kept him warm, and safe, i let him down, how do i deal with that?
someone please help me, this hurts so much..
now... i cant do it, how do i deal with this stuff in my head, the coiled spring in my body, the need to scream and shout and blame the world.
i need to get it out...
i should have kept him warm, and safe, i let him down, how do i deal with that?
someone please help me, this hurts so much..
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weepyone
06-13-2005, 07:41 AM
Hi Moonshadow
It is ok to feel how you do. You are going through the mormal grieving process. Although you mention feeling guilty miscarriage is not your fault, that is why it is ok to feel you have been hard done to and that the world isn't a fair place. Take some time to relax and grieve. My thoughts are with you at wehat I know is a very difficult time, I have been through m/c recently too and i know several others who visit this site have to, hopefully we can all bring some support or comfort as you deal with all these thoughts and emotions you have. I am so sorry for your loss, but you are right the world is not fair, but there seems little we can do about it the git. Take care.
It is ok to feel how you do. You are going through the mormal grieving process. Although you mention feeling guilty miscarriage is not your fault, that is why it is ok to feel you have been hard done to and that the world isn't a fair place. Take some time to relax and grieve. My thoughts are with you at wehat I know is a very difficult time, I have been through m/c recently too and i know several others who visit this site have to, hopefully we can all bring some support or comfort as you deal with all these thoughts and emotions you have. I am so sorry for your loss, but you are right the world is not fair, but there seems little we can do about it the git. Take care.
moonshadow
06-13-2005, 10:16 AM
thankyou weepy one,
im finding it so hard, it feels as though i have driven 100mph into a brick wall. my partner and i are struggling to be together, both dealing differently and its causing added strain. right now i cant see the way forward.
its only half way through the day and i ve had enough, i just cant keep going.
im sorry
moonshadow
im finding it so hard, it feels as though i have driven 100mph into a brick wall. my partner and i are struggling to be together, both dealing differently and its causing added strain. right now i cant see the way forward.
its only half way through the day and i ve had enough, i just cant keep going.
im sorry
moonshadow
weepyone
06-13-2005, 01:12 PM
moonshadow
i nknow this is a very difficult time for you and like you me and dh deal with things differently, the first stage in dealing with this is acknowledging he too is grieving but in his own way. For example my husband only talks about the m/c when I discusss it so imagine my shock when last night he asked he asked when he can let loose (excuse if too much info) to ttc again. your partner may also be like this, it is true m/c can feel a lonely experience I can only say by using this site some times checking in 3 times a day it has allowed me to cry if I want and even smile at someone else's joy. Here I have learned that m/c can happen to anyone including me and that it is ok to feel s**t and angry and devestated and gutted and upset but that we need to recognise this terrible experience does not mean life is going to be this terrible forever unless we carry on our own pity parties for too long (of course an occassional or short lived pity party is good for us all from time to time). Please don't give up on your situation, cry, scream if you must but know that someday if you keep working at your dream of having a baby of your own it can happen, but if you give up now well it won't. So grab some cleanex and allow your heart to grieve for your baby and your loss and talk about it here if it helps but don't isolate yourself it will make you feel worse.
Thinking of you and praying your heart heals. I know where you are it hurts but hope you realise you can talk here, i am off work sick still post m/c so catch me here regularly if you need to talk. :wave: It is important to be around someone supportive if you feel you can't talk to dh/so talk to a friend or family member you sound like you need some good tlc look after yourself.
i nknow this is a very difficult time for you and like you me and dh deal with things differently, the first stage in dealing with this is acknowledging he too is grieving but in his own way. For example my husband only talks about the m/c when I discusss it so imagine my shock when last night he asked he asked when he can let loose (excuse if too much info) to ttc again. your partner may also be like this, it is true m/c can feel a lonely experience I can only say by using this site some times checking in 3 times a day it has allowed me to cry if I want and even smile at someone else's joy. Here I have learned that m/c can happen to anyone including me and that it is ok to feel s**t and angry and devestated and gutted and upset but that we need to recognise this terrible experience does not mean life is going to be this terrible forever unless we carry on our own pity parties for too long (of course an occassional or short lived pity party is good for us all from time to time). Please don't give up on your situation, cry, scream if you must but know that someday if you keep working at your dream of having a baby of your own it can happen, but if you give up now well it won't. So grab some cleanex and allow your heart to grieve for your baby and your loss and talk about it here if it helps but don't isolate yourself it will make you feel worse.
Thinking of you and praying your heart heals. I know where you are it hurts but hope you realise you can talk here, i am off work sick still post m/c so catch me here regularly if you need to talk. :wave: It is important to be around someone supportive if you feel you can't talk to dh/so talk to a friend or family member you sound like you need some good tlc look after yourself.
Cupcake3
06-13-2005, 05:14 PM
Hello Moonshadow
I understand you completely. I m/c 4/25 D&C 4/28. Had another D&C 6/08 because they left poc in me. I too, am devistated, angry and, frustrated at the world. But there has to be a good ending to all this. My partner too, is very quite on the situation and does not say anything. That angers me sometimes, but I guess he really does not know what to say. I too have to sort after folks who are willing to talk to me and communicate with me about my feelings.
Everyday I feel this anger I do not know when I will stop grieving although if you look at me you would not know what has happened. But I am devistated and angry all the time. I guess time is the answer for us the heal...
take care
I understand you completely. I m/c 4/25 D&C 4/28. Had another D&C 6/08 because they left poc in me. I too, am devistated, angry and, frustrated at the world. But there has to be a good ending to all this. My partner too, is very quite on the situation and does not say anything. That angers me sometimes, but I guess he really does not know what to say. I too have to sort after folks who are willing to talk to me and communicate with me about my feelings.
Everyday I feel this anger I do not know when I will stop grieving although if you look at me you would not know what has happened. But I am devistated and angry all the time. I guess time is the answer for us the heal...
take care
jo905
06-14-2005, 04:53 PM
I know how you are feeling and the hurt will probably never go away but you have to be strong and realise that you will have a chance again I have had 2 early miscarriages and I got through them by convincing myself there was something wrong with them and it was probably for the best however when I lost my baby at 19 weeks and they sent him off for the autopsy I prayed that they would pick up that he would have been born with something wrong with him but when it came back that there wasnt I was so devastated
Anyway no matter how much the pain hurts grief is a totally normal process you have lost a life that was growing inside you so never feel bad about that
I hope you can get support from these boards and you are not alone in dealing with this
maybe one day at the end we find out why thats what I believe not religious but I believe life has a plan and whats meant to be will be this experience can make you stronger probably doesnt feel like it right now but if you need to talk its helps a lot good luck
Anyway no matter how much the pain hurts grief is a totally normal process you have lost a life that was growing inside you so never feel bad about that
I hope you can get support from these boards and you are not alone in dealing with this
maybe one day at the end we find out why thats what I believe not religious but I believe life has a plan and whats meant to be will be this experience can make you stronger probably doesnt feel like it right now but if you need to talk its helps a lot good luck