I am a gay HIV negative male. I was talking to this guy for about a week and then he told me he is HIV positive...is the risk to great that I should give up on this guy because I have only known him one week?

IS this risk too great that you should have feelings for this person, that it may your one chance in a lifetime, because this person may one day become ill and need you, or may one day become ill and die? I'm not sure what you're asking here. If you think it is too risky because you may contract the disease, then I think, by asking the question, you've already answered it. Look, lots of HIV+ people are living full lives with HIV- partners and doing incredibly well. If you're afraid of the risk of caring for someone, then yes, I think it is too great a risk for you, but not, possibly, for the reason you're thinking. chris

I would not mind caring for this person if they needed me, I am more concerned about getting HIV. But are you saying that this worry of mine may not be too warranted?

If you use adequte protection the correct way each and every time you partake in sex with this person, then no, your chances of becoming HIV+ are almost none. And I don't think that your concern isn't necesarry, but in your original post, it almost sounded as though you were thinking you should give up on this person because he is HIV+. Although it's hard to tell through a post, I got that impression, and im not sure if i'm the only one.
Listen, he must care for you if he's sharing personal information with you. There's nothing to be afraid of but the unknown. Do some research. Read a book. There are great websites and there's great literature about HIV, and stories about +/- couples on the net. I think the two of you can be a miracle in each others lives. Please, IF (because im not sure of your intentions)before you decide to give this up, if you truly care for him, do some research...and talk to us! We can answer any questions you may have etc. etc. But...don't give up, just use protection, as you would with ANYONE you sleep with.
-S-

iam postive, as long as you are carefull,you will be fine, we all need friends, i think he must be a good person! HE TOLD YOU!god bless him! iam postive because i was not told the truth! take one step at a time, :)

Thanks guys for the posts. I totally apologize if I sounded like in the first post I maybe was going to give up on him because he was HIV positive. Trust me, that was not my intention.

In fact, where we are today, I have been the one that seems to be pursuing this relationship more, I am not sure he is as interested as I am, but we will see. He is in northern CA and I am in southern CA and we met over the internet. But if something comes of this, I am glad I found this site where I can ask you guys questions. So thanks!

iam postive, as long as you are carefull,you will be fine, we all need friends, i think he must be a good person! HE TOLD YOU!god bless him! iam postive because i was not told the truth! take one step at a time, :)

Welcome!!! :cool:

I think also in the original post I may have sounded a bit too harsh is because I was actually going along with the relationship and going with it, and then he stopped calling me. He would say he would call and then not call.

And so we actually have known each other longer than a week which I did not say in the original post. I think I am upset that he has been putting me off especially since I was totally willing to go with this new experience. And because I was angry at him, I was looking for a way out.

I just wanted this message to clarify things a bit. It is strange sometimes how we deal with rejection or feelings of hurt. So as it turns out, he is actually the one putting me off. But who knows, maybe things will turn out. I am just glad that I have opened myself up to dating and possibly becoming serious with someone who is HIV, because I know that the care and concern we could possibly have for one another is what could make the relationship that much more special.

P.S. - This guy smokes a lot of pot, and my friend who is also HIV positive thinks that he could be self-medicating...is this common behavior for people to do?

I've heard that marijuana helps alleviate wasting syndrome. I don't think he's doing it to be destructive. Doesn he take his meds and whatnot?

Yes, he takes his meds and also smokes a lot. But, for example, he told me the other night that he would call me after work and he never called and has not called since. I let him know in an email that this type of behavior hurts me and I'm not sure how much more of it I can withstand in a possible relationship. I'm not sure what is going on...is he playing games, does the pot make him forgetful, I'm not sure?

Who knows...but like i said before, i bet the two of you could be great assets to each other, so I hope it works out!!