cowgirl1
06-27-2005, 05:36 PM
Does anyone have an older son that you have had problems with? If there has been an improvement with your adult child,would you mind sharing?
I'll begin about 14 years back when he was 20 and constantly causing himself,family and friends problems,he has had 2 failed marriages,has 3 children that he has nothing to do with,in the past 2 years my husband and i no longer take him in,because he steals,lies,loafs,smashes things,cusses like you wouldn't believe and does whatever he pleases,since he is not allowed to live here any more,his friends have evicted him,none of his friends want to be around him,because of his constant mooching and picking fights....he is presently living with a guy,not a friend....Adam gave him until August 1st to move out. My son has had numerous vehicles in the past 2 years,starting with a brand new truck that he abused and did not make regular payments on,so Ford Motor Credit came and picked it up,NOT TO MENTION THERE WAS A CO-SIGNER.....he works as a painter now and then,he knows he has to get in as many hrs as possible to try and get ahead,but doesn't,his previous bosses have been so good to him and given him a vehicle that he can make payments on,but obviously has messed up on that also, the trucks were taken back...he has had warrants out on him ever since i can remember for non child support,not having car insurance,driving with expired tags.....a few weeks ago he sold a vehicle that wasn't even paid for,i believe it was around $500...he decided to quit his job and lay on it until the money was spent,then he calls his father and gives him a pitty party about his sorry life and his dad feels sorry for him,my husband is 64 years old and our son's actions are not easy to live with.....For 12 years we have helped him, but to no avail,he has been homeless a couple of times in the past 2 years,has admitted he mixes his own drugs. We do not have insurance on him to see a Dr. and get annalyzed,however he has been taken to the Pavillion,only to tell the Dr's there was nothing wrong with him,he just got drunk and had a fight with his girlfriend,he was sent a bill for $800,which he has not paid.. Ken was sharing an apartment with my younger son at the time,my son called the police and had him picked up,because he was screaming,smashing up the house,also the tv we gave him,hung on the ceiling fan and tore it out of the ceiling,which my son had to pay for when he moved out. There is so much more to tell,but this is what were basically up against...we are morally and financially devistated with ken....Don't know what to do any more...He refuses to go to a Dr.and get medication...I have dreams of an officer visiting us in the middle of the night giving us news that our son is dead. If anyone has any ideas on what to do here,please post. THANK'S FOR LISTENING.... Very stressed out Mother I have 2 other sons,one older and one younger that are doing great and having a wonderful life.
I'll begin about 14 years back when he was 20 and constantly causing himself,family and friends problems,he has had 2 failed marriages,has 3 children that he has nothing to do with,in the past 2 years my husband and i no longer take him in,because he steals,lies,loafs,smashes things,cusses like you wouldn't believe and does whatever he pleases,since he is not allowed to live here any more,his friends have evicted him,none of his friends want to be around him,because of his constant mooching and picking fights....he is presently living with a guy,not a friend....Adam gave him until August 1st to move out. My son has had numerous vehicles in the past 2 years,starting with a brand new truck that he abused and did not make regular payments on,so Ford Motor Credit came and picked it up,NOT TO MENTION THERE WAS A CO-SIGNER.....he works as a painter now and then,he knows he has to get in as many hrs as possible to try and get ahead,but doesn't,his previous bosses have been so good to him and given him a vehicle that he can make payments on,but obviously has messed up on that also, the trucks were taken back...he has had warrants out on him ever since i can remember for non child support,not having car insurance,driving with expired tags.....a few weeks ago he sold a vehicle that wasn't even paid for,i believe it was around $500...he decided to quit his job and lay on it until the money was spent,then he calls his father and gives him a pitty party about his sorry life and his dad feels sorry for him,my husband is 64 years old and our son's actions are not easy to live with.....For 12 years we have helped him, but to no avail,he has been homeless a couple of times in the past 2 years,has admitted he mixes his own drugs. We do not have insurance on him to see a Dr. and get annalyzed,however he has been taken to the Pavillion,only to tell the Dr's there was nothing wrong with him,he just got drunk and had a fight with his girlfriend,he was sent a bill for $800,which he has not paid.. Ken was sharing an apartment with my younger son at the time,my son called the police and had him picked up,because he was screaming,smashing up the house,also the tv we gave him,hung on the ceiling fan and tore it out of the ceiling,which my son had to pay for when he moved out. There is so much more to tell,but this is what were basically up against...we are morally and financially devistated with ken....Don't know what to do any more...He refuses to go to a Dr.and get medication...I have dreams of an officer visiting us in the middle of the night giving us news that our son is dead. If anyone has any ideas on what to do here,please post. THANK'S FOR LISTENING.... Very stressed out Mother I have 2 other sons,one older and one younger that are doing great and having a wonderful life.
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Jamryn
06-28-2005, 11:50 AM
Has this 34 yr old been diganoised ADD or something? Or is he just being ir-sponsable?Sorry to say this - but we can't live our children's lives for them. Some of the stuff reminded me of my 36 yr old and how he behaved a few years back.
It sounds like to me - that he's comfortable with this life style because MOMMY and DADDY will always be there to pick up the pieces. Do your self a favor -and for the 34 yr old tell the mocher - you love him very much but now is the time for him to take responsability for his own life. Sink or swim - stand or fall - you've gone over board in giving him an excample as to how to live his life.
Now it's his turn to put it it to good use. His choice. Then( sorry ) BUT OUT. When he realizes it's all up to him he will change. Beleve me I've been there ( including the fear of having an officer pounding on my door in the middle of the night)before. When the officer showed up at my doorstep at 2 in the morning - it was to ask ne if i wanted my son then or could they take him to jail for car theft. My son learned to GROW UP on his own - the next few months in jail.
It sounds like to me - that he's comfortable with this life style because MOMMY and DADDY will always be there to pick up the pieces. Do your self a favor -and for the 34 yr old tell the mocher - you love him very much but now is the time for him to take responsability for his own life. Sink or swim - stand or fall - you've gone over board in giving him an excample as to how to live his life.
Now it's his turn to put it it to good use. His choice. Then( sorry ) BUT OUT. When he realizes it's all up to him he will change. Beleve me I've been there ( including the fear of having an officer pounding on my door in the middle of the night)before. When the officer showed up at my doorstep at 2 in the morning - it was to ask ne if i wanted my son then or could they take him to jail for car theft. My son learned to GROW UP on his own - the next few months in jail.
cowgirl1
06-30-2005, 02:00 AM
Thank-You for posting,Jamryn
No,my son has not been diagnosed with AAD.
He has already informed my husband and i,that he is not going to take any medications for anything. My husband dropped by where our son is living at the present,he told my husband he is not working at all now,because his vehicle is not fixable,well maybe for a price. We do not plan on giving him any more money for anything,or worse yet,letting him move back in.....NO WAY!!! I know that sounds mean,but i would rather leave my home and move somewhere else than to put up with his abuse.
No,my son has not been diagnosed with AAD.
He has already informed my husband and i,that he is not going to take any medications for anything. My husband dropped by where our son is living at the present,he told my husband he is not working at all now,because his vehicle is not fixable,well maybe for a price. We do not plan on giving him any more money for anything,or worse yet,letting him move back in.....NO WAY!!! I know that sounds mean,but i would rather leave my home and move somewhere else than to put up with his abuse.
Jamryn
06-30-2005, 09:13 AM
Good for you! It's not being mean - It's called tough love ( and being good parents) and most likely more painful for us than the child. Youre son has choosen his life style - now he needs to experence the concquences.
cowgirl1
06-30-2005, 07:49 PM
The son you were having problems with,how old is he now? Is his life a good one?
I told my husband last night after he came home from visiting our son and told him what i would do if i lived in town,didn't have transportation...my next step would be seeking employment close by,there are many businesses around where he lives at.....within walking distance...but i remember my son telling me at one time,he doesn't look ahead like i do. Just makes me friggin crazy the way he does things. I hope you and your's has a wonderful 4TH. I think i'll get drunk. LOL
I told my husband last night after he came home from visiting our son and told him what i would do if i lived in town,didn't have transportation...my next step would be seeking employment close by,there are many businesses around where he lives at.....within walking distance...but i remember my son telling me at one time,he doesn't look ahead like i do. Just makes me friggin crazy the way he does things. I hope you and your's has a wonderful 4TH. I think i'll get drunk. LOL